Travelling alone.....when MARRIED.

[patriciaheart]

Good day sisters!

I just need your thoughts about travelling for pleasure ( for business kasi hinde mo naman talaga minsan makaksama yung asawa mo), as in going to beaches and climbing mountains, discovering cities, going on vacations by yourself as a married woman.

My issue is my husband does not like adventures and sees vacations as gastos lang. It saddens me because I work and I need a vacation, considering that I live in one of the best places in the world for beaches, rivers and springs etc.

Nakaka baba ng loob yung ako lahat yung gumagastos sa bakasyon namin tapos parang feeling ko utang na loob ko pa sakanya na sinamahan nya ako, as in I feel like I am traveling with a reluctant teenager.

I have no problems on being alone, I know i can defend myself and I don't get lonely as some people might think, maski noon gagala akong mall, kakain ako sa restaurant na mag isa and I don't see anything wrong with it like other people.

I have thought about joining travel groups and their packages for travel too, my sister is also open being my travel companion but I just need to know if may mga sis na ganito ginagawa and did it help your marriage? Wala bang resentment na ngyari?

Thank You!

[madam cruella]

If he's one who will listen, then state your case. I'm sure he'll understand.

In my case, I planned that once, didn't tell him until last minute, he got mad, rammed my car while on the phone to show how pissed he was at me (I was away already - it was a business trip and I planned a little side trip).  He said I should know my priorities and come home immediately since our son was just little then (he was 4, turning 5).  My mistake was that I didn't tell him BEFORE I extended my trip.  I only told him a day before my business trip, and I assumed it was alright.  Apparently it wasn't, and so had to cut my trip short, didn't go on the side trip and went straight home after I was done with my business. I saw my car, it definitely was rammed and I'm not talking about minor dents here.  I still have issues about what happened then (I wasn't using his money for the trip, it was only a 3 day extension, and my brother, cousin, and the nanny was there at the house and it isn't that my son was left alone) but I get how I've ignored his consent on the matter.  It was 5 years ago and didn't happen again.

[yannuh]

^^exciting ang travelling alone. kasi kami ni hubby since magbf-gf pa lang, lagi na kami magkasama pero excited din ako sa idea ng mag-isa, kumbaga "me-time" natin yun. if ayaw nya sumama and gusto mo, explain mo sa kanya reason sis. i am sure maiintindihan naman ni hubby. minsan may mga lakad din naman syang di ka kasama (boys time, etc) kaya dapat give and take lang kayo:)

[j.adore]

Yes, have The Talk.

Ganun talaga because two individuals in love can have different interests BUT explain how marriage changes everything. Then, both will decide on how to "live" moving forward.

I was in a similar scenario except mine is experiencing things. Ang point ko kasi I want to "live" and we got married so we can share our lives together.
Ending he agreed but we alternate yung gusto ko then gusto niya. On expenses, combined income kami and from the start, we've always had a fun fund.

Both of you need to talk about the pros and cons of your decision too then how to address them.

Some married couples do individual things naman and still turn out OK. It's all in the communication I guess.

[Girltalker2]

So long as reasonable kausap hubby mo, I'm sure it will be okay. Basta huwag ka rin Super dalas na buwan buwan.

Then siguro mas ok if you travel with family or relatives, like cousin, aunt, sis mo, friends na girls. Mahirap na kasi if ever may guys as travel buddy mo. Kahit walang malice or wala kang ginagawang masama, at least iwas trouble kahit papaano.

Travel sites - alam ko mostly for singles ito, kasi if married, usually kasama hubby/wife.

[hypergalactix13]

in my opinion -- we're still two different individuals who doesn't necessarily need to do everything together as a couple.

i've been out and about for soooo many times last year and he was never in any one of those trips. ok lang naman sa kanya since kung meron syang mga lakad na hindi naman ako dapat kasama eh hindi ko naman ipinipilit ang sarili ko. magkasama na nga kami araw araw sa bahay, siguro minsan naman we deserve to get away a bit from each other right? just to breathe. not that i'm not fond of being with him, infact we really enjoy each other's company, but we respect our own privacy.

[simang]

So long as reasonable kausap hubby mo, I'm sure it will be okay. Basta huwag ka rin Super dalas na buwan buwan.

Agree on this. Nung hindi pa kayo kasal I'm sure you traveled alone naman na diba? So dapat he'd understand if you plan on doing so now that you're married. ANd sabi mo nga, it's not like bigla kang umalis. It was a business trip that you wanted extended. Siguro ang reason bakit sya nagreact that way was hindi mo kagad sinabi? Maybe he's expecting na dapat napag usapan nyo beforehand.

we really enjoy each other's company, but we respect our own privacy.

High five to this as well. As long as reasonable naman yung amount of time apart nyo, that should be fine.

[ri-anne]

sis okay lang yan.....you can travel pa rin naman without your husband even if you are married. Hindi naman kayo magkadikit sa bituka 😉 I know mas gusto mo sana magkasama kayo...but alangan namang pilitin mo yung tao. It will just dampen your mood instead of being excited about the trip.

I did that before. I went with my girl friends sa boracay (my hubby hates the beach eh) and baguio (ewan ayaw din nya).... kung hindi ko ginawa yun i would have missed the chance of going to those places.

You either accept it, or make it a big deal and then just create an unnecessary issue sa inyong married life. Choose your battles ika nga.

Don't worry..in the long run, or pagnagtagal na ang marriage nyo, either magaya sya sayo sa pagiging mahilig mag-travel, or magaya ka sa kanya na hindi mahilig mag-travel. 😁😄😉 that's just how it is....

Good luck!

[luckypal]

I haven't done this, but I would like too especially if it's a getaway with the girls!

I have a friend who does this a lot - doesn't travel with her hubby and they seem to be ok

[Girltalker2]

I just need to know if may mga sis na ganito ginagawa and did it help your marriage? Wala bang resentment na ngyari?

Mukhang marami din naman ganito ang style. Don't you think baka nasayo ang issue - sometimes you feel guilty leaving him behind whereas he is perfectly fine naman?

or you resent him for not willing to travel with you kahit minsan lang?

Tama naman most peeps here, you don't have to do everything together all the time. Some me time is important. But at times, we wish sana they can adjust kahit paminsan minsan lang para satin/relationship, in the same way we adjust for them at times.

[forumera]

problema ko din to, gusto ko kasama siya, kaso ayaw niya gumastos, di ko naman keri ako lahat sa gastos hmp

[cybelekronos]

nasa tamang pag uusap lang naman,
may mga hubs na super protective takot lang kaya d pumapayag,

si hub nagsasabi naman ako, pumapayag naman sya pero gusto nya may kasama ako, if wala ako kasama, dapat mag text ako kung asan na ko.
sya pa nga taga push ko kasi d ako mahilig mag aalis ng bahay.

so pag sya naman umalis, d ko rin dapat kontrahin 

[stylus]

For me kung out of town lang tapos he's with his friends, okay lang. Pero out of the country na hindi business trip.. gusto ko kasama ako syempre. Hihi.

Dahil newly weds kami, sa ngayon mas gusto ko na palagi kami magkasama. Siguro eventually, magkakaron rin kami ng me time na ganyan.

[Girltalker2]

^ Pag bagong kasal tendency talaga is you want to spend as much time with each other.

Sometimes nakakatuwa nga tingnan yung matagal nang kasal pero lagi parin magkasama, di Lang sa travels pati narin sa activities like Zumba etc

May officemates naman ako before, Pag business travels, may mga nagsasama ng wife. Extra bayad lang sa airfare but accommodation naman free. Though may iba, kahit na company sponsored kasama spouse, isasama nila anak instead. Siguro di puede yung wife or either one of them prefers not to be with the spouse.

[Lizi]

Sis parang ganito din ang dilemma ko when it comes to wanting to travel alone. Not that he does NOT understand pero yung ibang tao parang ang sama ng tingin sa akin na parang I don't care about him. Kaya ending hindi din ako nakakalabas mag-isa, well except, kapag nakakuwi kami sa pinas, pinapayagan nya ako mag-lakwacha with my college bestfriends like going to the beach or just eating out. Pero yung tipon travelling alone, NOPE. Hindi pwede for me. Kasi pangit DAW tingnan. Labo. 

So in my case, kung makakapag-travel ako alone, katakot takot na guilt siguro mararamdaman ko gawa ng "say" ng nasa paligid namin. 

[stylus]

^pag may business activities sila hubby, sinasama nya ako. Ako lang may ayaw lalo kung ako lang ang iba dun tapos yung iba di magsasama ng wife. Kahit sabihin nyang yung iba kasama din asawa ayoko pa rin. (Di ko sure kung nirereverse psychology lang ako. hehe) Ayoko kasi isipin naman na bantay sarado ko si hubby.

Pero ang gusto ko sa kanya pag may instance na sabihin kong ayaw ko munang umalis sya, di sya nagrereklamo. Kasi palagi naman ako hindi kontra sa mga lakad nya eversince. Pag ganun, pass muna sya sa mga getaway nila ng workmates nya.

[Cheesecak3]

Never pa akong nagtravel na hindi kasama si hubby, though nong umpisa hindi talaga sya mahilig magtravel, ako kasi ang adventurous sa amin kaya nong nagtagal sumasama naman sya at nageenjoy na sya.

Siguro kung gusto mo talagang makasama hubby mo, inform mo muna sya sa mga activities para alam nya, kung hindi talaga nya feel sumama at ok lang sa kanya na hindi sya sumama, then go ahead. Iba pa rin kasi kung gagawin mo ang gusto mo that can make you feel good. Mas malaki ang maging tulong non sa relationships nyo.

[Shadow Angel]

Importante rin talaga na compatible kayo ang magasawa lalo na pagtagal at tapos na honeymoon stage. Buti kami ni hubby parehong mahilig sa gala. Siguro kapag ganyan friends or close relatives ang kasama mo. Kaya ka nga naggagala to relax hindi sa mastress sa kasama mo ang hirap pa hindi nageenjoy

[sweetgirl]

BF ko he wants to be at home all the time. masyadong mahiyain, eh ako stress reliever ko ang gumala. Yung tipong kahit window shopping lang pra maalis ang pagka bagot. ang mali ko nga lang ang gala sakin is really gala like kung pwede opening till closing ng mall andun ako at if mapakiuspan sila ma mgextend extend dn ako. hahaha.  gsuto ko [textspeak!] pguwi ko pagod ako sa gala at tulog na lang. kaya madalas kpag nsa labas nagaaway kame [textspeak!] [textspeak!] sa loob niya. I think ito na lang gagawin ko. kahit ako magisa. paalam lang ako sa kanya.

never ko pa naman natry to travel alone na tipong baguio or another place outside my city, pero mukhang interesting. Sana lang payagan ako nun na magtravel alone. hahaha

[yannuh]

^same kami ni bf mo hihi. ewan ko nung naging mag-asawa kami, napagod din ata kasi ako sa bahay so pag weekend gusto ko nasa bahay na lang. si hubby naman ang gustong magmall kami. Pag bakasyon, ayan game kaming 2 pero pag weekend talaga, gusto ko pahinga lang.

Never pa din ako nakatravel ng malayo ng di kasama si hubby. once lang pero work-related kasi so di naman talaga pedeng isama si hubby. pag mga team buildings/family outings di din sya kasama.

Swerte lang talaga na mahilig kami both magtravel. Sobrang naeenjoy namin yun talaga