Problems You Encounter Wile Planning Your Wedding Part 8

[pinklilac]

^^ sis tama hayaan  mo lang si MIL sa plano niya.
Isa pa may mga marriage  na hindi naman sukob pero failure din sa huli.
Nasa couple  ang success at failure  ng marriage /relasyon

[LilaFowler]

After all the arguments about keeping the guest list short, now I'm worried nobody will come to our destination wedding. So far I only have 35 sure. The minimum is 50 for our reception venue.

[kaitlynmischa]

^^ My brother and now SIL got married this year, last Dec my kuya was telling me to move our wedding from 2017 to Dec 2016 because they want to get married Jan 2017. I stood by our plan kasi we need enough time to prepare. So instead na church wedding sila, nag civil muna this year pero their civil wedding looks like a Christian wedding kasi may reception and all. tapos 2018 na lang sila magchurch. So yeah, focus on your wedding plan lang, besides nauna nyo naman i-plan yan.

Ako rin, hirap i-iron out ang guests. Lalo na yung may mga plus ones. Syempre meron akong friends na close ko na rin ang partners nila, meron naman na hindi. Baka magkaselosan. But what the heck, hindi naman biro ang gumastos per head tapos hindi mo naman masyado ganun ka close. Haay. I feel bad na hindi ko maaccomodate lahat kaso we have to stick with it. Relatives nga limited, friends and colleague pa kaya. Huhu.

[stylus]

^^ sis tama hayaan  mo lang si MIL sa plano niya.
Isa pa may mga marriage  na hindi naman sukob pero failure din sa huli.
Nasa couple  ang success at failure  ng marriage /relasyon

Agree. I don't believe in sukob. My SIL and her boyfriend also planned to get married this year. Kami feb, sila june. I wasn't even bothered at all kung sukob or whatsoever. Wala kami pinapaniwalaan na pamahiin. Stress lang kasi yan. Wala naman explanation. Kaso the family of SIL's boyfriend believes in sukob. Kaya di muna nila tinuloy.

[MS_JanDel]

Sis LilaFowler and kaitlynmischa I guess guest list is always the tricky part in planning. Ako naman there are relatives I don't want to invite because they tend to bring their whole "ängkan"with them. I'm planning to put number of seats allotted in my invitation but I'm a little worried that they might not mind it. I'm not that close to them and we only meet during special occasions lang naman plus we wanted our wedding to be intimate. And there are people from Manila who I wanted to be there more. We have finalized that guests will only be 200 with 50 of that appropriated to the entourage. Feeling ko may magtatampo talaga.

[Tinsflor]

Wedding planning has been smooth sailing for me, except for a few annoyances from my sister who's being such a diva right now.

First, she just had a baby last year, and her daughter (my niece) just had her 1st bday a few weeks ago.  My sister is based in Australia na but she owns a condo in Makati that she stays in whenever she's in the Philippines. I booked extra prep rooms in the hotel for the weekend of our wedding to use as dressing and make-up rooms for the entourage as well as storage for our stuff since we're based overseas and I can't stand the thought of having a cluttered bridal suite with the entire entourage there getting their hair and makeup done. I intend to use those extra rooms as prep and storage areas only, but since it's booked for the entire weekend, I wanted to offer the rooms to some of our principal sponsors that are coming from the states.  My sister told me that she will need to take one of the rooms I already paid for because it's hard for them daw to go back home to her condo during the wedding because she is breastfeeding and looking after her baby. Mind you, her condo is 5 minutes away lang.

Next, she opted to be a cord sponsor together with her husband when I made her choose.  This is fine with me, except that I made it clear that we will only be providing the gowns for the bridesmaids and the MOH.  Her reaction?  "Talaga?  Can you also order 1 for me? I don't have time to shop for my gown na, it's hard when I'm alone with the baby in Australia".  Since I'm such a pushover, fine pumayag na din ako.  The time came when I ordered the gowns na, I sent her a photo of what it looks like, ang sabi ba naman: "Wala bang  ibang choices na mas breastfeeding friendly?"

Lastly, na hurt sya when I didn't ask her if I could get her daughter as a flower girl.  Hello. Kaka 1 year old pa lang, she's not even walking yet.  I'm not thrilled with the thought of that, I mean she's my niece and I love her to death but it's my wedding too and I think I'm entitled to choose diba? So anyway dahil na hurt sya, ito na naman ako, fine sige na, flower girl na anak mo.

I'm a mom too, and I was a single mom up until my fiancé came along, so I know na shuttling a baby around is challenging.  I visited Manila alone back when my daughter was just 10 months old.  Pero wow, I can't believe how my sister puts her needs before mine kahit na alam nya na this is my wedding.  When she got married 4 years ago, she didn't hear a thing from me, and I helped her out as much as I can.

Kakainis lang.  Just venting.

[LilaFowler]

@ms jan del - I was worried about this too! My first option for the wedding was Tagaytay, picturesque and convenient but my worry is that because it's so convenient it means EVERYONE will come and my target number of guests is 75. So we decided to do a destination wedding since my FI's family is from Australia.

Now the worry is we don't have enough guests. I have sent out save the dates and a lot of the people I was expecting to come is saying that they are not sure because of budget constrains.

I've started increasing the invite list to 125 (100 originally) in the hopes that half would be able to come.

Guests ang pinakastressful na part I think of a wedding. Napakalaking variable. Mahirap timplahin between having enough guests and having too many guests.

[Tinsflor]

Chili113:  I saw your reply yesterday but I just wanna say thanks for the kind words!!   But wow, you heard worse things!  If I were in your shoes I would have snapped already.  Good thing our other sister is around to calm me down and make me understand too. I guess I really have to just ignore and not let it get to me because she has her own issues as well. I will choose nalang not to get her opinion next time because she always has something to say and it will just make me feel bad.  Love her to pieces but I can make do without her demands for now.  She's the eldest kasi eh so she's used to pushing me around. 

[corpse_bride]

Hay nako Tinsflor I feel your pain. Imagine having 4 older sisters like that.. Welcome to my preps! Haha just to make you feel better here's their problems/pushy suggestions:

Eldest- bakit daw walang beads yung gown ng anak niya who'll be my MOH. Ah hello? 2016 na. Balik ka sa 90's kung gusto mo ng beads. Even I didn't want to have a beaded bridal gown.

2nd - eto winner. She's overseas as well so I had to relay to the designer and his manager all her requests. Asked all of my sisters for pegs. Only the eldest had one. This one didnt send pegs until the designer was on his 4th drawing na ata. Umabot until option f. Ended up with option a. I'm not going to her fitting when she comes home. I love her but I don't need stress from her and her daughters. Why even her daughters? One was like "is that really the color?" White top & blue skirt. I'm not making you wear beige or peach, little girl. My sister added on to saying "diba dapat pag bata colorful?" ughhh! I'm so annoyed even with just recalling it right now. Ilan beses pa inulit ulit yan ah. Di ko nga nirreplyan. Even our mom was like don't mind her nalang. And same daughter was like "can I change into my party dress for your reception?" I wanted to shout no but of course I didn't.

3rd - runner up. Keep on making me bara with initial lists of suppliers, details and almost everything. When I wanted to consult with a relatively new designer sino daw ba yung designer na yun. Or why would I want our niece's/1st time flower girl's gown also be made by the bridal gown designer, baka isipin daw ng ibang nieces unfair. Duh. The oldest one wouldn't care, the overseas ones doesn't have a clue who he is. Even her own daughters couldn't care less. So guess who's left to say it's unfair. Nakalimutan ata na almost 20 years ago na ang wedding niya. Instead of being happy and sharing ideas, wala. I just kept to myself, my fiancé and here. Tapos she wanted everyone to have our make up done by my mua! The guy's been doing our make up since like I was 14. (I'm in my early 30s) kesyo daw she spoke to him already and kaya niya daw all of us. All freaking 12 of us. They're willing to be made up as early as 5am daw. Are you freaking kidding me? Teens and kids up that early for an event in the afternoon that will last until maybe until midnight?! I had to insist that they're out of their minds for even considering that.

4th one - kept on bugging me with church stuff so in turn my mom also nagged me. To shut them up went to my church of baptism to start church paperworks 2 weeks before the 6-month period. When I went home empty handed tumahimik na sila. And she was sorta pushy with the flower girl dress design. Buti nalang ok daw that design with the entire look for the entourage. We just hafta adjust the bouquets.

Ugh! Nainis ako all over again sa kanila haha! Buti nalang we're on our final stretch na.

Keep your chill and just vent it out here

[MS_JanDel]

Sis LilaFowler sabi mo pa. the guest list is so stressful that I'm actually delaying my final guest list. hahaha. Having everyone there is could have been nice but we have a budget to consider and we don't want a big crowd for this special occasion. Hindi naman kasi eto birthday party lang.

Sis corpse_bride exactly the reason bakit between h2b and i lang ang details ng wedding preps namin. Before I tried na magkwento and ang sinasabi ng mga officemates ko na bakit mahal daw, bakit daw gagastos sa kasal dapat daw ganyan ganyan. Tapos may mga comment pa na, "kung ako ikakasal hindi ako gagastos ng ganyan para sa ganyan lang". Sinabi ko nalang na I really dreamt of having a nice wedding and we're saving up for it naman. Ngayon hindi na talaga ako nagkwekwento kasi nagiinit lang ulo ko sakanila, baka magbeast mode ako.

[peachlipstick]

Hello mga sis, pa-vent out lang.

We found our Entourage Gown  and Flowegirls Supplier in Pandi, Bulacan - very affordable rates and maayos naman kausap.

I have 6 bridesmaids and 6 flowergirls. 1 Bridesmaid and 3 flowergirls nasa Isabela so we just had them send their measurements to us and they complied.

Then comes the cause of my stress - one BM and one FG na taga-Bulacan lang pero hindi nakapagpasukat on the day na scheduled sila.

This BM is my cousin - hindi daw nakapunta dahil nilalagnat. (Pero take note, same day na dapat nagpasukat, nagpunta sa birthday party!). She didn't even have the  decency to say Sorry. I sent her an sms confirming if hindi siya nakapunta, ang nagreply was her mom saying na nilalagnat daw kaya hindi niya pinasama.

Okaaay, nilalagnat para magpasukat pero sa birthday party nakapunta??

The FG naman - ipinilit lang ng mom ko to be part of the list (magtatampo daw if walang representative from that family, etc) so to shut them up kinuha namin. Sige, granted na Saturday was her Grandfather's birthday, Sunday ng umaga pwede naman na magpasukat but no! Hindi din nagpasukat.

I hate these paimportante types of people - sabi ko sa mom ko sagot na namin ang gowns, time na lang hinihingi namin, waley pa din? If too much hassle sa kanila ang umabay sabihin nila, the invitations aren't out yet, I can easily remove their names.

Ang dami ko na iniisip dadagdag pa sila - then you'd hear the classic: 3 months pa naman, matagal pa yan! Naku, talaga naman.

[Missus O]

^oh dear.. naku... just tell them na lang na madaming tinatahi. Baka hindi sila magawa. Give them a timeline, baka sakaling matauhan hehe. Na hanggang this day lang yung pwedi magsukat. If hindi nasukatan, hindi na sila kasama sa entourage.

[Cheroppy]

Isa pa pala sa nakakapagpastress sakin ngayon is yung kawork ko (yes kawork, nag uusap kami minsan pero we're not friends).
Ininvite nila kami ni h2b nung wedding nila though di naman kami close (lalo na sila ni h2b), feeling ko kaya lang kami ininvite kasi maraming extra slots, parang plan C kumbaga.
Pano hindi maiisip na plan C eh months before the wedding umiiwas samin pag napag uusapan si wedding tapos 3 days before bigla ininvite halos lahat sa department namin 
Umattend kami ni h2b dahil nahihiya ako tumanggi. Sa totoo lang, ayaw umattend ni h2b kasi nga hindi niya kilala. Pero in the end, umattend pa din kami pareho dahil ayaw ko magpunta ng wala siya hehe.

Days after magpropose ni h2b, kinausap niya na ako (kawork ko).
Sabi niya sakin, "invite moko sa wedding mo ha".
Sa totoo lang wala siya sa priority list ko ng guests dahil nga hindi naman kami close. And onti lang planned namin na number of guests kasi budget wedding lang naman kami.
Naisip ko, ininvite naman niya ako sa wedding niya kaya sige isisingit ko na lang siya.
Weeks after, nagkausap na naman kami. Sabi niya sakin kelan daw wedding, sino daw ba iinvite ko. Pinaisa isa niya sakin. Tapos sabi niya, isama ko daw husband niya 
Eh hindi naman kami close nun at medyo hindi ko feel yung husband niya.
Di ako makapagsalita nung una pero umoo na lang ako.
Deep inside, ayoko talaga. Siya pa nga lang di ko pinriority eh, hubby pa kaya niya. hays
Yung close friends ko sa work sinabi ko sila lang ang invited hindi kasama family or hubby pati hubbies nung ibang cousins ko tapos siya na di ko close eh magdedemand.
Di ko tuloy alam pano sa kanya sasabihin.  kastress na nakakainis.

[genegin]

Some suppliers don't seem to reply agad. Is that common in the industry?

[kaitlynmischa]

Lesson learned: I don't want to share too much details about our wedding na with our friends as I don't want it affect our choices anymore. In the earlier stage of our wedding preps, I am excited to share my suppliers, P/V, reception, coordinator. I stopped from there, cos aside from their unsolicited advice and mixed suggestions, baka masyado nang give away yung wedding and they won't be surprised anymore. Some of my friends, I know they are very supportive, but are kind of questioning my taste or suggesting other things, nung una medyo gusto ko yung ginaguide ako, kaya lang I got confused na. Not to neglect or discount their inputs, but after awhile, I kind of realize na you have to trust yourself as well. Kasi ikaw naman ang ikakasal.

[MS_JanDel]

^Agree sis kaitlynmischa! ako din super excited to share details before but I realized na ang dami nilang sinasabi na hindi naman actually nakakatulong. Minsan some are even pushing their opinions and comparing my details with someone else's wedding! One of my biggest pet peeves pa naman is being compared. I decided to just keep details between me and h2b nalang, total at the end of the day, it will be our decision and not theirs.

[kaitlynmischa]

^ Major pet peeve nga being compared with other weddings sis MS_JanDel  Right now, mas naeexcite na ako magprep kasi I know na its a personal choice. PLUS, para naman they have something to look forward to.
----

Anyway, other problems I encountered are from other suppliers. I ditched my supposed MUA, I already mentioned it before here on GT. But grabe it was a long exchange of messages, I talked to his assistant na lang and naintindihan ako ng assistant nya, he was even telling me na hindi ito teleserye na pag ayaw mo eh okay lang. I cancelled my booking one year before the wedding itself pa, he has an ample time pa and ok lang to let go of the dp kasi ganun naman talaga BUT pinapacharge nya ako ng damaged fee na 5k kahit wala yun sa contract. Anyways, it was resolved naman na. Pero dapat talaga careful sa pagbook, I cancelled him kasi medyo feeling well known kasi sya and may ere pag kausap, major TURN OFF.

Invitations - okay naman si supplier but sana hindi talaga ako basta basta nagbubook sa bridal fair. Especially pag FIRST bridal fair na pupuntahan mo. Lots of GREAT suppliers are available, at napakadaming bridal fair in a year na iba iba ang organizers.

[kdramaholic]

Lesson learned: I don't want to share too much details about our wedding na with our friends as I don't want it affect our choices anymore. In the earlier stage of our wedding preps, I am excited to share my suppliers, P/V, reception, coordinator. I stopped from there, cos aside from their unsolicited advice and mixed suggestions, baka masyado nang give away yung wedding and they won't be surprised anymore. Some of my friends, I know they are very supportive, but are kind of questioning my taste or suggesting other things, nung una medyo gusto ko yung ginaguide ako, kaya lang I got confused na. Not to neglect or discount their inputs, but after awhile, I kind of realize na you have to trust yourself as well. Kasi ikaw naman ang ikakasal.

I feel you, sis! Basta ang mahalaga naman happy kayo ni h2b!!! Don't mind them na lang Happy preps!

[mindiegirl]

Na-bother naman ako sa problem mo sis Cheroppy. By the looks of it, parang nagpa-power trip si officemate sayo.  I strongly believe you should not say yes to her. Its your day. Tsaka, since you are not really friends with each other hindi naman siguro ganon ka BIG DEAL sa kanya. Tell her na intimate wedding lang. Just be firm. I can so relate kasi I also have an officemate na obvious namang naiirita pag nakikita ako so hindi ko talaga sya iinvite even though she knows Im getting married. Iniisip ko nalang I will do both of us a favor pag di ko sya ininvite!

[MS_JanDel]

^sis kaitlynmischa Tama sis. Btw ang weird ng MUA mo, ang lakas makasingil eh timely ka naman nagcancel. Nagsisi kaba sa invi supplier mo sis? My friend will be making my invitation, start up calligraphy artist palang siya. Actually buti nalang pnipigilan ako ni h2B magbook sa mga bridal fair kasi ang gaganda kaya ng lahat ng andun.

One of my problems is the stress of saving for the wedding. We were so used of travelling, shopping and spending before na parang nahihirapan kami ngaun kasi all extra money goes to the savings account. We didn't wanna risk our budget so it's really a sacrifice. Ayaw din naman galawin existing investments namin. Pinapahirapan yata namin sarili namin. hahahaha! But we want to have something after the wedding kaya todo tipid at ipon!

So far I'm happy with my suppliers. Only my P/V and wedding gown yung big suppliers namin, mostly mga small scale or start up para mas mura. hahaha.