Problems You Encounter Wile Planning Your Wedding Part 8

[LilaFowler]

^ I agree with starting early. I tried to start early kasi I knew busy time sa office yung time na  close to our wedding daye. I did our invitations designs etc as soon as we got our venue and dates. I did my DIYs 3 months before the wedding.

Our wedding is in 2 weeks, seat plan na lang and printing of menus and place/escort cards kailangan ko gawin pero I'm sure may maaalala pa ako at the last minute.

[Tincywincy]

yes, than God talaga sis marywater. Sana maging okay na din kayo ni Fiance soon, para all is well sa unang araw nyo as married couple. Pray lang sis 

OMG sis LilaFowler super lapit na ng wedding mo!!! parang kelan lang planning planning level palang noh?  Ang sipag mo din talaga mag DIY. Good job! (i hope i had the same drive para mag DIY ng madaming wedding details, but no. ang dali ma-pull towards tamad options    )

[decibel28]

Well I guess for an overseas couple like us, it's more on meeting with the suppliers even before booking them and not basing your judgment on reviews and social media. Iba pa rin kasi talaga kapag may rapport ka and makausap mo sila in person. Na minsan kahit super okay ang reviews and social media posts, pero kapag di mo feel, iba pa rin talaga.

[Ocarina1]

Hello mga sis! nadaanan ko lang tong thread na ito so i wanted to share din

Overseas bride here, h2b nasa pinas. 2019 pa kami pero dahil kailangan i-plan din yung mga leave allowances namin,book air fares, and para maka discount nag start na kami mag preps just this June (para na din maka ipon).

siguro i can sum my issues to four:

1) people who self-invite: since marami akong friends na naunang magpakasal sa akin, i decided to ask one of them about sa pricing ng gowns and kung kailangan ba ganito ang dami ng entourage blah blah. na-excite sya masyado for me and said "wow, invite mo kami". i cringed. Firstly, oo, friend ko sya pero hindi sya kilala ng fiance ko. couple sila with a child and it's 3 people already. so sabi ko na lang "matagal pa naman hehe,".

2) people who plan it for you: same friend offered to help me na mag hanap ng suppliers and samahan ako mag divi. she want as far as telling me na magi-inquire din sya sa for me which i dont want. same reply ang binigay ko 'matagal pa naman,'. another friend said na she will coordinate for me na walang bayad when i only asked kung may alam syang reception venue sa tagaytay na malapit sa caleruega. even offered suppliers she worked with. i just sighed.

3) my mom and fiance's mom: haha. di ko alam kung valid ito na nagpapa stress sa buhay ko eh yung mga nanay. fiance met my parents dito sa sg. he liked them kasi ang cool ng parents ko (or so he said, pero i know they're cool lol). prior to meeting them wala akong sinabing kung ano ano about them kasi i want him to know them sa paraan na gusto nya. and then we planned meeting his parents. sya na mismo nag raise ng mga red flags (like wuut). sabi ko okay lang yon, kasi i have my way of introducing myself. so eh di ito na, dumating na yung araw na yon. malayo ang byahe papunta sa kanila. feeling ko 3 hours kaming nasa taxi. pagod na pagod ako kasi from flight pa. nakilala ko ang father nya - hands up, sobrang bait, like remnant of james dean coolness and whatnot. then the mother. long story short, alam ko na yung buong buhay nya pero di nya tinanong kung drug lord ba parents ko or what. haha. nung tinatanong ako ni h2b kung anong masasabi ko, sabi ko 'wala akong masabi, i'm shookt. pero wag na tayo babalik dun.' reason being, i have weak immune system and kung magkakasakit ako dun i don't want to inconvenience people, lalo na family nya.

next, mother ko. kung sino sino ang iniinvite without my consent, kesyo si ganito na friend nya gusto mag ninong at uuwi galing US and this is a friend na kachat nya lang online (bale, uncle sya ng kaibigan ko and nagkakilala lang sila sa FB). then gusto nya kalahati ng kamag anak nya invited, which is going to be 1/4 of our max guests (100 lang kasi gusto namin.) gusto ko sabihin na si fiance immediate family lang ang iinvite (bale 5 lang), tapos sa side ko 75? mom, please. haha. sasagutin naman daw nya yung lechon but, mom that's not my point. haha. dad ko nga walang sinasabing iinvite eh (since lahat ng relatives nya nasa US, kami lang ang nasa Asia).

4) planning it to accommodate other people: originally pa, i wanted to get married here in SG, with just a couple of principal sponsors, my family, and his family. tapos photos lang then kain sa labas. but since hindi naman maka travel ang mom nya due to heart ailment and vertigo, sige sa pinas na lang. that's 350k pesos vs 35k (or SGD 1K).

alam ko the list will go on, pero i just need to get these out of my chest. sorry sa haba

[tomatostellar]

Simple wedding lang balak namin, so mga di big names kunin namin suppliers.
The problem with them, ayaw nila pa-book early. Even church! kakaloka.
Sa ngayon church and OTD pa lang na-book ko.
Nakausap ko na caterer, pero sabi balik na lang daw kami January 2018 (nung una namin sila nakausap, August 2018 pa dapat kami). Busy daw sila November and December.
Pero kukulitin ko na lang by October this year.

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

^^Siguro Sis, pwedeng rason ng mga Suppliers na ayaw ng early booking is yung rates nila, usually kasi nagtataas sila talaga lahat yearly lalo na mga first quarter ng taon, so kung super early ang booking, sayang yung additional rate na maipatong pa sa Client, which sucks. 

[mysterioza_me]

^Ay true papataas muna ng rates yan. Saka kapag early nagbook may nonrefundable reservation fee, ayaw pa ba nila nun?! Guaranteed ng may client sila, ituloy man o hindi ang deal di na lugi kasi maski papaano dahil sa reservation fee.

[deluxeshopper]

Destination bride to be here..

I am so excited in my engagement since my bf proposed to me after waiting for such a long time. We were together for 10 years. Its really a dream of mine to get married outside Manila because I want it to be intimate.

Before the engagement, when my friends and family would ask me where I plan to get married, I always say Shangri-La Mactan! So the time has come and I am already planning for my dream wedding. Day 2 pa lang after the engagement, my father asked me, " ano set up sa hotel and airfare?'. Ako naman, medyo I got pissed off because fiance and I have not got into the budget and nitty gritty.

Syempre fiance will pay majority of the wedding . Ang usapan namin ni fiance before, guests will pay for their own plane and hotel... So I replied to papa, ''kanya kanyang bayad'. Tapos, father got surprised. Parang na disappoint. Yung sister ko naman, which is supposed my MOH, parang napaka unsupportive sa destination wedding. Ang dami nyang kontra then whenever I show her my wedding planning stuff parang di sya interested.

Sabi ng sister ko na hurt daw si papa because he was expecting that I will at least shoulder their airfare and hotel. Naiinis kasi ako sa fact na, I am not even half way through my planning and they will ask me about the financials. Its as if naman they will contribute to my wedding right? Well, part of me talaga is expecting that my father will shoulder like one meal (pre cocktails). Pero di pa naman sya nag vvolunteer na magbigay.

In my opinion, can afford naman kasi si papa and sister ko and if may ssponsoran ako ng airfare and hotel, it will be my mom (separated kasi sila). Tapos si papa, gusto pa nya isponsor ko din yung half sister ko and brother ko.

Just a back ground, I have a complicated family. My parents are separated but my father raised us. I am the eldest, I have one sister from my mother who is 1 year younger than me. Then, I have 2 half siblings. The half sibs stay in our house.

As I said, gusto ko nga sana ng intimate wedding and my father wants me to invite my half brother who I am not even close with. At the other part of my head, baka ma issue pa yun sa fiance's family and relatives nya.

I am really disheartened now because it seems that my father and sister are not supportive of my destination wedding. I told my sister that this is my day and I will do what  I want. Papa and I are not speaking much right now. I am getting irritated because I have so many things in my head then the people that I am expecting to be supportive of me is not much of a help.

[mindiegirl]

Hi sis! Already married here but during planning we also considered an intimate destination wedding. Like you it was my dream ever since. Malayo at konti lang ang guests. So naturally sa very early planning stage, iyon agad yung gagawan namin ng plan ni then-fiance. Ang gusto ko pa nga nun immediate family ko lang and ni hubby. 20 pax total. hahaha! Ganyan ganyan din nangyari nung medyo nag lay down na ko ng plans namin to my parents, dissappointed sila and parang unsupportive. Maybe because sila din may "dream" wedding for me in their minds. Syempre nalungkot ako na hindi maganda yung pag receive nila sa plan ko. Pumasok din sa isip ko na its my wedding kaya ako ang masusunod. Eventually pumayag din naman sila after siguro mag sink in yung reason namin. Pero kami na din ni hubby yung hindi nagtuloy nung plan kasi I have a paternal lola na gustong gustong makaattend sa wedding namin. She's already 94 that time kaya di na pwede bumyahe. I felt that my dad really wish for his mother to witness the wedding. Ayun, I realized I would not be really happy kung hindi happy ang family. Haha!

Just let the days pass tutal early stage of planning palang naman kayo. In the passing days mag lower din ang mga emotions and ma gauge mo din their real feelings. And it would help to know their side din. Then saka make a compromise. Enjoy the planning!

[lonely_dad]

mahirap talaga pag hindi within manila ang wedding. especially if yung guest ang magshoulder ng airline ticket + hotel para lang pumunta when in fact pwedeng yun na pambili nila ng wedding gift. not to discourage anyone but if meron ako invitation tapos ganun kalayo 99% di ako nakakapunta.

[mysterioza_me]

At the other part of my head, baka ma issue pa yun sa fiance's family and relatives nya.

Nalungkot ako sa part na ito. It seems like the real reason why you wanted a destination wedding is ikinahihiya mo ang family mo.

[deluxeshopper]

Hello! Thank you for your replies. I feel so relieved because  I really cannot share this sentiments to anyone right now.

Actually, we have listed our entourage however, I am thinking I am not gonna release it until the guests have committed their attendance. We do not want that person to feel pressured to attend the wedding just because you know. Their presence is the present.

As for my (extended) family like half sibs, di ko naman talaga kasi ka close yung gusto isama ng papa ko so I do not feel my significance kasi. I want an intimate wedding of 50 to 60 pax.

As of now, andami pa din nag sself invite (kahit destination wedding) so, I just say yes yes.. let's just see!

[mysterioza_me]

^Sis ang kapatid kalahati man o buo kapatid pa din. I wonder bakit di kayo close kasi sabi mo your dad raised you naman (i'm assuming lang naman na magkakasama kayo ng dad and siblings mo sa house). Kung step-siblings mo lang sila its ok na di mo sila iinvite since you don't share the same bloodline. Anyway kasal mo yan kaya do whatever you think will make it more special hehe.

[plumpolka]

ang alam ko part ng wedding expense sa destintion weddings ang airfare and accomodation ng main entourage mo. tsaka family mo yun, malamang dapat ikaw sasagot ng expenses nila dahil ikaw ang may gusto na dalhin sila kung san ka man ikakasal. unless gusto mong intimate wedding na kayong 2 lang ng fiance mo ang andun kasi wala kayong sasagutin na pamasahe. LOL siguro if they offer na sila na magbayad, edi go. pero siguro ang pwede mo na lang iipasagot sa kanila is yung isusuot nila. sila na bahala sa mga suit/barong/gowns nila. mahal naman talaga ang destination wedding e, magmumura lang dahil madami mababawas sa guest mo na di mag-effort gumastos para lang maka-attend lang ng kasal. sakin if it's more than 10k, di bale na lang. pero depende din sa destination, if it's gonna be a wedding/vacation, then why not.

[kdramaholic]

As a guest, di ako makaka-attend ng wedding ng friend ko since yung wedding nila will be held in Baguio on a Wednesday.. Alanganin for me and hubby kasi kakailanganin mag leave ng at least 3 days eh di kami pwede.. Tapos di ko pa nasasabi sa friend ko kasi I heard na masama daw loob niya sa lahat ng di makakapunta.. Ang amin naman if Manila yung wedding aattend naman kami kahit mag leave pa kami kaso ang layo tapos 3 days kaagad ilealeave namin nun kaya malabo kami di makapunta.. And alam ko one of the reasons bakit sila nag OOT para controlled yung guests.. Haay

When we planned our wedding we also considered na mag OOT kaso dahil alam naman namin na wala gaano makakapunta at extra gastos pa sa guests (bukod sa sa suot nila, transpo, make up) medyo hassle na.. Very important kasi for us to consider yung comfort at expense ng guests.

[mysterioza_me]

^True yan. The bride and groom should also consider the expenses and availability of the guests. Kung convertible ang leaves ninyo to cash or may pinaglalaanan na for the whole year malaking bagay ang 3 days leave (like me na naka-allot na for travel and my son's school activities). If di makakapunta ang guests for those 2 reasons mentioned above sana maintindihan ng bride and groom. Alam ko sasabihin ng bride and groom if they are real friends pupunta pa din sila kasi special event yun sa life ko. Kung ako naman guest sasabihin ko, if real friend kayo sana maintindihan ninyo na mabigat sa bulsa ang expenses plus the fact na I have to leave my job for 3 days just to attend a wedding.

Pero sis kahit ikasama pa ng loob ng friend mo better to tell her right away na di ka makakapunta para di siya mag-expect-m and para di ka na masama sa head count at may maipalit sila sa guest list.

[lonely_dad]

considered maling pagtitipid din ba yung wedding on a weekday?

[mysterioza_me]

^For me di naman pagtitipid yun. Iba-iba lang ng reason ang bawat tao bakit weekday nagheld ng wedding. My aunt and uncle got married on a weekday kasi ayaw nila i-compromised yung wedding date since importante sa kanila ang petsa na yun.

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

Hear here, my wedding is on a weekday kasi anniversary namin yung wedding day namin, importante samin yun. Also, usually fully booked na mga Suppliers and Churches/Venues on weekdays, plus super traffic and kagulo so madami din couples umiiwas sa weekends, kaya gusto din talaga namin weekday, good thing lang sa amin April kami kinasal, so mostly naka summer vacation naman, and maski destination wedding kami, Tagaytay lang and superrrrrrr aga ko sinabihan lahat, and piling pili lang ang guests like relatives and closest friends, meron man di nakapunta, walang samaan ng loob whatsoever. Yung mga gusto talaga magpunta na nagleave or umabsent, walang pwersahan na naganap hahaha. We also shouldered the hotel rooms ng entourage and immediate families ng both sides the night before pati foods on the day ng kasal mula breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner ng sino man na andon.  Lahat ng aspeto at gastos sa kasal case to case basis talaga. 

[kdramaholic]

I don't mind naman mag leave para sa wedding wag lang 3 days hahaha! Tsaka wala din issue sakin na weekday ang wedding.. Yung dami lang ng araw na di ko ipapasok yun ang naging problem ko. Pero tama na I should tell her about this na para makahanap na siya ng kapalit.

I agree na ang pag pili ng araw ay di naman sa pagtitipid nagkataon na lang din talaga na yun na lang ang available at significant yung araw na yun sa couple.