NO LOVE = END OF A MARRIAGE?

[ayka]

TS... Any updates? Hope you're okay

Hi sis. 2 weeks ago, I was ready to let him go. I told him that. He said he wanted to leave. But the following day, he didn't. I was quiet. Because I didn't know how to feel and what to think any more. He's so ambivalent. Ang naisip ko kasi, if he really wanted to leave me, he should have left a long time ago. Kahit na magpakamatay pa siguro ako sa harapan niya, kung gusto niyang umalis, umalis na siya. Bottom line is, a day after he said he's leaving na, I haven't spoken a word. Then he told me we'll just start over. Kaya naguguluhan ako sa kanya and his inconsistencies.

Ganun talaga ang style nya sayo before? Kahit nung bago pa ang relationship niyo? Hindi talaga sya nag-oopen up emotionally, nagsheshare ng individual life nya including the stresses and struggle? So parang lagi happy part lang pinapakita nya sayo?

   

Roughly, I had an idea that he was like that. He didn't even open up about his father's death. Kumbaga, he gets really stressed. Kaya he doesn't like opening up about problems din. Tuloy, pati when I open up about my feelings, ayaw niya ng ganoon. He will just keep quiet and continue watching TV or surfing the net. I'll ask him, nakikinig ka ba? or magsalita ka naman. He will just respond, wala naman tayong problema. Gusto ko lang manood ngayon, please. Ganoon siya. Kumbaga, if ever there's something we feel or we don't like or something not right, he'd rather not talk about it.

Ever since he told me that we'll start over, I've kept my silence. I've let go of control a long time ago, and just pray for God to take me wherever I'm supposed to be. I seldom talked. I can't even look at him (my husband) kasi ang daming beses na niyang sinampal sa mukha ko na hindi naman na niya ako mahal. I just got fed up. And I want to rest.

We're still together. And I'll just accept whatever happens. Make or break, I'm open to both. 

[Girltalker2]

Hi sis. 2 weeks ago, I was ready to let him go. I told him that. He said he wanted to leave. But the following day, he didn't. I was quiet.

We're still together. And I'll just accept whatever happens. Make or break, I'm open to both.

Sis, I still think somehow you should do something. It cannot be simply forever na di kayo mag uusap.  It is either you give everything you've got to make it work, habang "together" pa kayo at walang official na hiwalayan OR just separate. And it seems right now, everything is on a standstill. Pero hanggang kailan?  Ikaw nga pagod na, sya kaya? 

Kasi sa ginagawa nyong iyan, obvious na hindi kayo masaya, you just drag things on and on, for the sake of saying magkasama kayo, pero laging di nag uusap at deadma.

So kung mag usap kayo, sabay kayo mag agree which option you 2 want to take -

1) Go for counseling, be open, rebuild your marriage and have that communication and emotional connection between the two of you

2) If BOTH of you cannot do #1, then better let go and start anew.  It is unfair for both of you to be stuck in an unhappy situation. Give yourselves are chance to be happy. Let him find someone who can do this, at ganun din sayo.