Do I need to ask help from my MIL?

[cristina]

For me as i canread thi si TS iniintindi lang nya yung gusto nya intindihin kapag negative feedback about her nagiging defensive sya...ako for me lang ha wag mo alisin sa buhay ng anak mo family ng asawa mo RIGHT nya yun as a child kung talagang gusto mo patunayan sa in laws mo na kaya mo buhayin anak mo go on i salute you for that pero remove them in your childs life is crazy.. ang hirap lumaki ng walang tatay hindi man naging mabuti ang husband mo sayo im sure sooner or later naman he will be a good father to your son aminin mo hindi kayang sukatin ang pagmamahal kng lola sa apo i should know. Akala ko ba gusto mo patunayan na kaya mo? bakit ka pa hihingi ng tulong sa in laws mo? it only proves na gusto mo pa makipag communicate sa kanila kasi kung talagang ayaw mo na ang daming ways para makakuha ka ng mga copy ng docs mo

I should have know nalagay na din ako sa sitwasyon na yan before i cut all the communications sa in laws ko and i suffered the consequences, after awhile pa nila ulit nakita anak ko nung sure ako na nakapag move on na ko pero hindi ko binura sa buhay ng anak ko mga inlaws ko after all anak at apo pa din nila yun factor yun sa paglaki ng bata ang makita nya family nya na parehong nanjan para sa kanya

[aquacharly]

GHARZ412, you started this thread asking for help. Well, each person has his/her own assessment of your issues/situation & suggestions. Hwag ka mainis, or be defensive as CRISTINA above said -- if you get responses that you do not favor. Let us respect each other here.

As for the documents, it is not a big problem really --  and since your husband is not cooperative & the docs are really required -- just spend for the on-line/SM or go to the NCSO yourself.  Yes, there are costs, but these are not prohibitive & there is a cost to everything in life naman talaga. So, don't belabor paying for such. Calm down.  Hwag mong panggigilan, but instead -- appreciate the fact that you have an alternative way  since your husband eh pinagdadamot mga docs mo.

You say you are not bitter, and that if we knew where you're coming from, we would not judge.  Well, we just generally react to whatever is posted.  So sure, nobody hardly ever gets to appreciate the whole picture.   So, don't take it against us if you think we are not giving you much leeway. 

I am not judging you -- can the anonymity we all enjoy here really allow us to judge?  IMO, no.   So, ok, I am not judging you -- though the impression I get from your cuentos is that you want to strike back at your husband in every way you can (from curtailing his & your in-laws' access to your child now by not responding to them; & eventually relocating to Cebu. ).
Oo, nandyan  na  that your husband may merit no consideration. But the thing is, if your relationship with your hubby went kaput --  it does not automatically mean the relationship of your child with your hubby & in- laws should also go kaput.  Your child deserves to receive love  not only from you, but also from his/her father & grandparents.  IF these people do not show love & ignore your child -- saka mo ilayo.  Do not alienate the child from these people who want to love him/her. 

I agree with you, madali mag salita.  But if any of the Sisses  here advised you to open communications with your hubby & his parents -- well, tama naman their underlying reasons.   The thing is, though your hubby may not merit any consideration/understanding:   You must try, try, try to take the higher road of compassion & understanding.  Do it, for your better/higher self, not for your husband. Do not let him pull you down to his level.  If you walk away,  the lesser your anger & negative emotions, the better -- less deadweight to slow down your moving on.  Anger you harbor towards a certain person is actually power over you you give that person.
O -- hwag naman ako ang babalingan   mo ng galit. 

Your attitude of sariling-sikap is commendable. Good luck, Sis -- some of us here will even offer a prayer for your success.   But do not close doors -- never underestimate others who now disappoint you  and let you down like your hubby & in- laws.  They too can help enrich your child's life & contribute to his/her upbringing.  Lahat puedeng pag- usapan ng mahinahon.   

[langley]

Ilang years ka na bang hindi pinapansin ng asawa mo? May years na ba o months pa lang?
Wag kang magpapadalos dalos sa desisyon mo lalo na kasal ka at may anak kayo.
Sabi mo sa isang thread may nasabi kang masakit sa asawa mo. Baka kaya ganyan siya at di ka pinapansin. Baka nagpapalamig lang yang asawa mo. Hayaan mo lang siya. May bahay ba kayo? Bakit di ka umuwi sa inyo? Kelangan mo din ibaba ang pride mo. Sa mga post mo kasi dati hindi naman mukhang masamang tao ang asawa mo eh. Kaya mabuti pa mag-sorry ka sa asawa mo. Wag pairalin ang pride. Isipin mo ang anak mo.

[cristina]

GHARZ412, you started this thread asking for help. Well, each person has his/her own assessment of your issues/situation & suggestions. Hwag ka mainis, or be defensive as CRISTINA above said -- if you get responses that you do not favor. Let us respect each other here.

As for the documents, it is not a big problem really --  and since your husband is not cooperative & the docs are really required -- just spend for the on-line/SM or go to the NCSO yourself.  Yes, there are costs, but these are not prohibitive & there is a cost to everything in life naman talaga. So, don't belabor paying for such. Calm down.  Hwag mong panggigilan, but instead -- appreciate the fact that you have an alternative way  since your husband eh pinagdadamot mga docs mo.

You say you are not bitter, and that if we knew where you're coming from, we would not judge.  Well, we just generally react to whatever is posted.  So sure, nobody hardly ever gets to appreciate the whole picture.   So, don't take it against us if you think we are not giving you much leeway. 

I am not judging you -- can the anonymity we all enjoy here really allow us to judge?  IMO, no.   So, ok, I am not judging you -- though the impression I get from your cuentos is that you want to strike back at your husband in every way you can (from curtailing his & your in-laws' access to your child now by not responding to them; & eventually relocating to Cebu. ).
Oo, nandyan  na  that your husband may merit no consideration. But the thing is, if your relationship with your hubby went kaput --  it does not automatically mean the relationship of your child with your hubby & in- laws should also go kaput.  Your child deserves to receive love  not only from you, but also from his/her father & grandparents.  IF these people do not show love & ignore your child -- saka mo ilayo.  Do not alienate the child from these people who want to love him/her. 

I agree with you, madali mag salita.  But if any of the Sisses  here advised you to open communications with your hubby & his parents -- well, tama naman their underlying reasons.   The thing is, though your hubby may not merit any consideration/understanding:   You must try, try, try to take the higher road of compassion & understanding.  Do it, for your better/higher self, not for your husband. Do not let him pull you down to his level.  If you walk away,  the lesser your anger & negative emotions, the better -- less deadweight to slow down your moving on.  Anger you harbor towards a certain person is actually power over you you give that person.
O -- hwag naman ako ang babalingan   mo ng galit. 

Your attitude of sariling-sikap is commendable. Good luck, Sis -- some of us here will even offer a prayer for your success.   But do not close doors -- never underestimate others who now disappoint you  and let you down like your hubby & in- laws.  They too can help enrich your child's life & contribute to his/her upbringing.  Lahat puedeng pag- usapan ng mahinahon.   

Super true

TS- Failure nyo both mag asawa sa isat isa does not necessarily mean hindi na kayo pwede maging good parents sa anak ninyo walang kasalanan si baby para mag suffer sya in the future of not knowing his father side

[imbisibol_]

Anyway as i've said I really tried my very best to reach out to my hubby but seems to me that he doesn't care

i think so long as you did your part and your conscience is not keeping you up at night, you're all systems go.  martyrdom was abolished in the 1800's, and your child (in time) will probably respect you more for having the strength of your own convictions. 

but my in-laws are the one who takes the initiative to reach out to me

count your blessings then.  i am sure they are siding with their son regarding your marital squabble.  but for them to continue to want to be with their grandchild means they are willing and able to look beyond their own biases.  do the same. 

I'm planning of going to Taiwan and in the next 2 years pag nag pension na si father ko we will be staying for good in Cebu. Am i selfish that way? I just want to have a stable life but not here in our place but in Cebu where we are really from.

your plans are your own.  you should know what's best for both you and your child.  but my suggestion is to keep the grandparents in the loop.  taiwan or cebu is not on the other side of the world.  relationships are possible to be kept strong despite even wider distances. 

[gharz412]

Thank you for all the sissies here who were able to give me options and sorry for all those I offended. Honestly, I'm just hurting knowing that my husband seems to me that abandoning our child. He doesn't cooperate when it comes to our child and that's the issue that really makes me burst out. Kung ako lang and di niya pansinin okay lang kahit dina kame mag usap peru para idamay anak ko bilang nanay ang sakit2 sken peru tulad nga ng sabi ng isang sissies dito diko na ipipilit skanya na aralin maging responsableng ama kahit di na lang bilang asawa. Okay kame ng inlaws ko now kahit na ramdam ko na kampi siya sa anak niya at tanggap ko yun basta ang importante sken ngayon ok kame ng anak ko.

[langley]

^Sister I think your husband is hurting kaya niya nagagawa na ignore ka at ang anak ninyo.
You cannot expect a man to act na parang wala lang kung nasaktan mo siya especially ikaw ang umalis, it's a bigger blow on your husband.

So my payo to you go back to your husband. Di ba dati magkasama naman kayo? Lower your pride, humble yourself, apologize and make lambing. Walang lalake na hindi tumitiklop sa lambing ng asawa.
Now do not expect na sa una mong lambing eh bibigay na asawa mo. Dapat consistent ka din. Wag susuko. Do your wifely duties. And most importantly pray without ceasing.