who can help you? - yourself
who can help her? - herself
I agree.
At this point in your life, you said nasa 40s ka na, you cannot afford more trouble in your life. Una una, you have 2 promising kids. Ako ang natatakot for you as you have everything to lose samantalang yung babae, she has nothing to lose but everything to gain. So sige lang.
Secondly, you should be looking for a lifetime partner (if gusto mo pa magkaron ng katuwang sa buhay) or at least making plans for retirement. You cannot afford someone messing up your finances, etc.
In the case of your magna cum laude son, are you not concerned that one day eh baka i-seduce sya nitong babae at magpabuntis? Things like these, when I think of all the possibilities, eh nakakatakot. At hindi lang ikaw ang apektado, puede pa madamay ang ibang loved ones mo.
She is indeed complicated. Being pragmatic tells me to avoid people that can cause you trouble. As it is now, you can cut your losses while early. You can just repay the sponsors, para tapos na. Kesa paabutin mo pa hanggang 4th year college tsaka sya magd drop out.
I am actually bothered by her ways. At hindi madali baguhin ang pagiging PSP nya kasi iyan na ang nakasanayan nya at nakagisnan. You cannot be a God to her and dictate to her, sino ka ba sa buhay nya? In your case naman, I think YOU ARE JUST AFRAID TO LEAVE HER AS YOUR CONSCIENCE WILL HAUNT YOU for using her and not being able to help her in return. Helping her somehow makes you feel cleansed from any wrongdoing to a minor. Kasing-edad lang sya ng anak mo. And I would think it must have bothered you in some way that something happens between the 2 of you.
In her case naman, gusto ba nya maging PSP? Or ayaw? Sa pagkakakwento mo, it seems she is enjoying it? Contrary to the movies I watch, na most PSP are just forced into the situation. Kung maiiwasan nya, gagawin ba nya? Kasi yung fundamentals ng pag-iisip/morals nya ang questionable para sakin -
1) how does she treat all this? normal lang kasi she wants money? Ok lang?
2) she and HER FAMILY wants easy money. Sa buong pamilya nya, sya lang ba ang kelangan magtrabaho? She is only 18, and her family is not her responsibility. But she can help. She is only accountable to herself. If you are successful to totally overhaul her mindset, it is hard to sustain as she always has this reason - na para sa family nya - who may be thinking na OK lang mag PSP sya basta may pera.
3) and she is threatening to leave you? then let her. kung nak-konsyensya ka to leave her, the better solution is to ask her to decide. Kasi it is a lose-lose situation to force her to study and stop being a PSP (contrary to her will) - as she will end up not happy. Worse, if she is not successful she will blame it all on you.
4) she is still not mature enough to see things in the long run. sa pagkakakwento mo, parang laging short term ang perspective nya.
Hindi ba after 1 year na pag-aaral, hindi ba sya nag-iisip na sana she can do good para maka work sya nang mabuti? Or ang dream ba nya eh maging full pledged playboy bunny?
5) may boyfriend sya, and she sleeps around parin as a PSP? alam ng bf? Tapos may "friends" din sya na police inviting her to be part of some crime. Think of the people around her. They are trouble. If worse case, knock on wood, ayoko naman isipin, puedeng biktima ka na as it is. Lalo pa kung masangkot sya sa bad na group na nagd drugs, they can victimize you and your family. Just think hard about that.
In summary, puede mo mabago ang anyo nya or mabago temporarily na mag-aral sya. Pero mahirap baguhin ang dreams/aspirations/mindset nya if she will always be surrounded by thoughts na nakagisnan nya - sa pamilya nya, mga bad friends/influences. She is trouble. Protect yourself, moreso, your kids and loved ones.
