Just want to vent..

[mickaela911]

I live with the father of my kid. We've been living in again for almost 2 years after we had separated. We used to live at his parents' house. The reason for our being together was because of Ondoy.

Just a very brief summary of what happened to us..

We started being steady March of 2004. He broke up with me July of the same year. I was very makulit and keep seeing him until December of that year when I met somebody. We were not official but just became MU. March of 2005, I saw the father of my kid again.. and he fell in love with me. Sad thing is I had fallen in love with my MU. My life was considerably very magulo as I had 2 people in love with me and I love them both. Unfortunately, I chose MU.

Father of my kid stayed away but every now and then he will send me an email or text or chat with me. August of 2005, I broke off with MU (well, we became a we) and came back to the real love of my life.. the father of my kid. Unfortunately, he was tired and had let go of me already. But I insisted as I know that he loves me and all but was just hurt.

I tried so hard to renew what we had. Sometimes we were okay but most of the time, not as he gets this bouts of anger for remembering that I chose the other guy. I got pregnant. He asked me to live in with him in his parents' place to be able to take care of me while I was pregnant.

Before I gave birth, I left their place. Call it hormones or whatever but the day I gave birth, he was there and wanted to take me home. My family was so against it and all and so I didn't. After a week, I went back to their place and my family almost disowned me.

After almost 2 years, we experienced financial, communication & 3rd party issues. I know he doesn't love me the way he has loved me before and has always been neglecting me. I left to live with my brother.

We were at war, suffice it to say. But eventually, became friends again.

Fast forward to today. We're together because of Ondoy and now we're still having issues. Albeit, 2 different issues. I'm angry at him because of a 3rd party. (same 3rd party that was the issue before and is now rekindled).. He's saying the problem was our past. That it was not okay to begin with. That everything was just pilit. He's saying he loves me because I'm the mother of our kid... that I do what he wants me to do and all.. but he's happy with what he's doing now.

I know you will all say that I have to get out of this F*ck*ng relationship to save my sanity. Sad thing is, I can't. Not just because of our son. But because I love him too much.

I know it takes two to tango.. and we're no longer dancing.. it has been a long time since we reconnected again.

I'm just so sad that it's ending this way. I long for the day that he accepts the past and move on to our future.

[zaza]

may hanggangan yan sis, at sana umalis ka na dyan hangga't di pa napapansin ng anak mo ang ginagawa ng tatay nya, masakit sa bata yun na makitang mas mahal ang tatay nya yung gf nya kesa sa nanay nya, kaya kung maari umalis ka na dyan, save yourself and your child, kung wala na talaga at mukhang matagal na yata ang ganyang set-up nyo at wala pang nangyayari maganda sa relationship nyong dalawa, papayag ka bang hanggang ganyan lang kayo??? kaya once and for all, umalis ka na sa piling nya, magpaganda, maghanap ng trabaho para sa yo at sa future ng anak mo, kung mapapakiusapan ang mga magulang mo na iwan mo muna ang anak mo sa kanila para makapag-trabaho ka, hayaan mo na yung lalake..

[mickaela911]

I work-at-home sis. I even earn more than him. Kung sa kaya.. alam kong kaya ko na magsolo..

[shoutingwind]

You're lucky you are not yet married.

You can't make that guy change, you just have to let it go. Fix yourself first.

[mommycute46]

Consider yourself lucky that you are not married with him. Your reason of holding on will eventually disappear with all the pain he is inflicting in you. I believe the problem is not your past. Its him who cannot get over from the past and keep on using it as an excuse to ruin your relationship. In the first place, he could have not accepted you if he's not ready to let go. Unfortunately, he is just using it us a lame excuse to continue the affair he has with that other girl.

Don't rush things, human heart can get tired too. Just save something for yourself so in time you want to let him go again, it won't hurt you much.

[Ms.Cacao70%]

I think you have to pause for a bit and review everthing that happened in your past. You made a decision that changed your life forever: pinili mo yung ka-MU mo kesa sa una mong bf. Dito nagkaroon ng lamat ang relationship ninyo ng tatay ng anak mo. Hindi natin siya masisi dahil masakit talaga yon. He loved you, you took him for granted then one day you came back. Sa tingin ko napilitan siyang balikan ka pero wala na sigurong natirang love, baka resentment and revenge meron. 

I think this relationship had already run its course. You can't beg him to love you as much as he used to love you.  Marami na kasing nangyari. He moved on noong nawala ka and I think its about time that you realize that. You have a loving kid that will always bind you together. That's all there is to it. Just learn from your experience, next time you find someone who loves you truly and faithfully, never let him go

[aquacharly]

MIKAELA, exactly what is it you love about this guy?  He makes you laugh? Gives you a good massage?  Sings you to sleep?  Do you still remember exactly why you love him?  Be truthful, is that reason still around?  Or he has changed, you hardly see it in him nowadays.  Sometimes,  MIKAELA, we get stuck on happier times that unfortunately are now just memories.  You cannot live in The Past, that is why they say:  "Live in the Moment" di ba.

IF he keeps on bringing the 2 of you to that place in The Past when you were dis-connected and you struck his ego a blow with your MU ... Such a blow he has not survived that is why his ego cannot feel victorious now the 2 of you are together --  he appears to be trying to make YOU  suffer for HIS emotional baggage.  That recurring 3rd Party - ano yan,  tit for tat? 

MIKAELA, you know what a Mother's Love is.  Generally, it has no vested interests nor selfish agenda.  A mother wants her child, at whatever  age -  feeling happy, secure and optimistic.   IF you were the mom of yourself/MIKAELA911 - are you gonna be happy with the state of affairs MIKAELA is  in now?  Are  you gonna tell her:  oo, hija, go on hoping and hoping at baka magbago pa yan & bumalik kayo as to how you were before The Past He Dislikes & Refuses to Put Behind happened?   

There are many things in this life to nag about, to be obsessive about, to rage against -- sure. BUT what labels the nagging/obsessing/raging as an exercise in futility is - can it CHANGE the situation/circumstances?    So, MIKAELA, whatever you do short of jumping into the Pasig  River daily,  plus whatever he does short of screwing every girl between Pandacan and Cainta --  can all that circus CHANGE THE PAST?   Therein lies your answer as to what you must do to serve YOUR best interests.  What you mut do to be happy, feeling secure, and being optimistic.   

MIKAELA, it is only you yourself that can take best care of yourself.  The Truth  will set you free,  so face it.  Either you cut your losses, and move out of this relationship; or accept that this relationship, with its  heartbreaks/hurts/disappointments is worth it and makes you happy.   It does not matter how the world views this relationship, the only thing that  matters is -- will you regret staying longer in it one day?  Alam mo na sagot dyan at this time.

Take care of yourself, Sis.