Any good men around?

[sugardrop]

minsan din, ang daming masyadong choosy pero they never bothered to look into their own selves and analyze if they are also good enough.

This.

[sacred cow]

^ I second that! yan din sabi ko earlier in this thread, dami kong kilalang ganito...mostly girls na either unfortunate looking, may attitude problem or both

[Prinsesa Mumela]

I believe na marami pa naman silang nagkalat. Hindi lang masyadong napapansin kasi tayo ring mga girls eh ang hilig sa bad boys. Ayan tuloy, puro tayo hinanakit sa mga lalake. dinamay na lahat dahil sa sama ng loob.

[peppermint009]

Girl: Lord, pahinging guy na mabait, may pangarap sa buhay, seryoso/faithful magmahal at sweet at may konting itsura na rin 

and then

... guy came but got frienzoned.

oh Why oh why? I relate to this so much I'm torpe guy so di ako magaling dumiskarte pero I know at least to myself na I deserve to be loved fully by someone na pinili kong mamahalin and not to be taken for granted.

Marami pa po kami haha actually it is one thing na common sa min ng mga barkada ko

[sacred cow]

^ bro, that's the problem with most guys...just because mabait sila and all those things you mentioned eh iniisip nila automatic dapat magustuhan na sila ng babae just because yun ang sinasabi nilang gusto nila sa lalake.

but the problem is

a) attaction is not a choice
b) What women say they want and what they actually want are often 2 different things

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself kasi torpe ka at sinasabi mong mahina ka dumiskarte, why don't you challenge yourself to overcome yung pagiging torpe mo at matuto dumiskarte. Act more confident, kahit hindi ka talaga confident...ipakita mo sa babae na you're someone worth dating kasi kung ikaw mismo walang bilib sa sarili, how do you expect her to feel anything for you. You could also wear nicer clothes and go to the gym, if you look good...you'll feel good and women like men who take care of themselves and have their shvt together. You could give me all the excuse in the world, but if you really want it bad enough...you'll make time and work for it. why am I telling you this? kasi dumaan din ako diyan...I was once just like you until I decided that I've had enough and binago ko mindset ko when it comes to dating, that's when I started to get results.

[Girltalker2]

^^ @Peppermint, agree kay sacred cow.

Treat each disappointment as a challenge. 

If you think you are torpe, what is wrong in just meeting and dating?  Getting to know others while you get to know yourself?  Do you really have to pick only 1 initially, then ibuhos mo lahat only to find out you were not good enough?  Di ka pa naman ikakasal sa pipiliin mong i-date.  Just ask. 

And also - seriously, "peppermint"?  why?

[t_r_i_s_h]

I believe na marami pa naman silang nagkalat. Hindi lang masyadong napapansin kasi tayo ring mga girls eh ang hilig sa bad boys. Ayan tuloy, puro tayo hinanakit sa mga lalake. dinamay na lahat dahil sa sama ng loob.

so true! matigas din kasi ulo ng mga babae eh hahahha

I just remember a movie line with this, his question was Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?   Becayse we accept the love we think we deserve.

the fault in our stars.. and its true we always accept the love we think we deserve...

[peppermint009]

Sacred Cow and girltalker2 thanks so much for your advice and yes, I will go for it lalo pa at marami na rin ako natutunan sa current situation ko. Hmmn di pa rin kami pero its a work in progress and still preparing myself na if wala talaga di wala. Also, while in this state I'm also balancing out loving her and loving myself

[sacred cow]

no prob bro, kaso when i read your previous posts...sabi mo 9 months mo na nililigawan and you're still unsure if she likes you or not...I hate to break it to you pero if a girl likes you she would be the one asking for exclusivity kaagad and hindi papatagalin ng ganun katagal. kung hindi mo parin siya at least nahahalikan man lang pero 9 months na kayo nagkikita...I'm sorry but I think you're friendzoned.

[gylbie]

Ako naniniwala pa rin meron pa rin mababait na lalaki sa mundo natin! (mundo talaga!) hahahaha...

di lang siguro kagwapohan(hahaha) then mga babae choosy pa (hanap like Daniel Matsunaga, kala mo naman siya si Angel Locsin) hahaha.. (ouch) sarili ko pala pinapatamaan ko here! hahahaha.. kaloka!

pero totoo naniniwala ako.. kase yun ang pinagdarasal ko eh... diba bakit naman ako magdadasal pa kung di rin pala ako maniniwala hehe...

[Girltalker2]

Sacred Cow and girltalker2 thanks so much for your advice and yes, I will go for it lalo pa at marami na rin ako natutunan sa current situation ko. Hmmn di pa rin kami pero its a work in progress and still preparing myself na if wala talaga di wala. Also, while in this state I'm also balancing out loving her and loving myself

Just be upfront about it.  Kung 9 months ka na nanliligaw or nagp-profess ng love mo, make sure you are communicating it effectively to her. Baka di nya ma-gets? 

Or you can just tell her, maybe it's time to move on.  Kung wala parin firm na sagot from her, puede mo syang direchuhin nalang.  Then just say "Can we at least be friends nalang?  I am moving on." 

 

[simang]

to the girls who think they attract the wrong men:

"the problem isn't that you are attracted to wrong men.you are attracted to men, some of them will be wrong and that's not surprising. the real issue is how much time you are investing in these men, hoping that they'd suddenly become 'right'. in the grand scheme of things, 95% of men are going to be the  wrong men, and you're never going to stop attracting them. what you are going to do differently is to stop accepting them. stop accepting unacceptable treatment and justifying it because you 'love' him. stop spinning your wheels, waiting by the phone, walking on eggshells in fear he'll dump you. stop investing your emotions in men who refuse to give you the love, security, and consistency that you deserve. in short, the problem is that YOU DON'T ATTRACT THE WRONG MEN, YOU ACCEPT THEM."

[t_r_i_s_h]

^ that is so nice sis simang

the problem is really with us girls, we say there's no good men around when in fact for sure we have met one or two already. It's just that we're too stubborn to think and believe that we can change a bad guy. Truth is we can't. Sometimes, it's up to us to see the good in someone. But then again it's our choice.

[Miss.Pancake]

to the girls who think they attract the wrong men:

"the problem isn't that you are attracted to wrong men.you are attracted to men, some of them will be wrong and that's not surprising. the real issue is how much time you are investing in these men, hoping that they'd suddenly become 'right'. in the grand scheme of things, 95% of men are going to be the  wrong men, and you're never going to stop attracting them. what you are going to do differently is to stop accepting them. stop accepting unacceptable treatment and justifying it because you 'love' him. stop spinning your wheels, waiting by the phone, walking on eggshells in fear he'll dump you. stop investing your emotions in men who refuse to give you the love, security, and consistency that you deserve. in short, the problem is that YOU DON'T ATTRACT THE WRONG MEN, YOU ACCEPT THEM."

Sis very well said. Pede ko ba to ipost sa facebook ko? May papatamaan lang ako. hahaha!
Pero i really like what you said.

[simang]

^ahahaha sure sis, share away. excerpt lang din yan sa isang article na nabasa ko. pero makes sense diba? if you don't like how one treats you, why stay? it just shows how small value you put into yourself. if you feel violated, unhappy, and disrespected, leave. it's as easy as that. hindi yung magtitiis ka tapos rereklamo ka na 'there are no good men around'.

[Miss.Pancake]

@simang - Thanks sis! Thanks for sharing this super nice quote. Totoo lahat ng sinabi mo. I salute!

[killbill]

Dami kong natutunan dito. 😊

[mysteryman]

Hi. There are still good men around, depending on your baseline (standard/benchmark). Kailangan din i-define what is a "good man" para swak sa requirements ng mga ladies.


The way I understand it, hindi kasi lahat ng good men naghahanap ng serious relationship (at least, for now). I am a dude & most of my buds are men. Pag nag-date kami, we want to know the lady first & not go straight right away to having a serious relationship. Most of the time, parang nagmamadali ang mga ladies ngayon. Parang race to get a man asap. hehe. Dapat take it easy & slow, enjoy each other's company... phase 1 muna. then progress, if all goes well.


It's always a good idea to start with the friendship first without putting burden on it. Wait & see where it goes. If it blooms to something more than friendship, great. Otherwise, a friendship is better than nothing. Moreso in the near future, there's always a chance that the friendship will bloom.


I believe most, ladies and gentlemen value freedom. The kind of freedom wherein we can have a partner, have a breathing space while being responsible/accountable & adhering to whatever mutually acceptable arrangements/protocols.


Sometimes, men also ask the same question: any good ladies around? =]

[sweet21]

Marami parin matitino. Ang problema lang we find them boring.

[saqqara]

Hoping for someone serious and decent in this  F #@$%    up world        parang ang hirap nito it's like finding a needle in a haystack.