this should have been my happiest month...my wedding :( {Journal to Recovery}

[Gladz31842]

sis holli_may mahirap talaga yan sa umpisa sis, but no one else talaga can pull you pataas ulit kundi ikaw lang. sis another tip to get through this is to constantly listen to praise songs..believe me sis, while listening kase sis you will realize how much God loves you and how important you are to Him and once na magsi-sink in na yan into your system, maabosrb nya na yan then you will begin to realize na above all things, your relationship with God is what matters the most...try mo lang sis...also continue to ask for the gift of Faith, kase only when you have Faith that you will begin to accept the fact that God will never give you anything that you cannot bear. And that you will begin to allow God's will to prevail in your life. Pag binigay sayo, ibig sabihin kaya mo..You may not know yet now why you have to go through this phase but in God's perfect time, when He begins to reveal His greater purpose and plan for you, you will then understand and i'm sure tatawanan mo nalang tong mga dinadaanan mo ngayon. You are where you are now because God willed it, because this is where God wants you to be. You will soon realize that at this time, for you,  this is the best place to be. Faith lang sis

Smile na sis God loves you              

[holli_may]

Thanks, sis, you're so right talaga jan and yes, I do listen to praise and worship songs to help me with my pain. I listen specifically to Hillsong's compilation I also attended mass regularly. Kaya nga, i so wanted to be part of a church org like young adults org sa church na ina-attenan ko. Kaso lang, di kasi in-time yung org's activity sched nila sa rest days ko. I so wanna be part of a fellowship org or humanitarian org for me to be surrounded with positive people with a sense of purpose

[cuteapril_1215]

Sis, saang area ka malapit? we have kasi sa church regular meetings/sessions :d

[holli_may]

sa makati ako, sis. I always attend sunday service sa Word for the World.

[calin22]

^sis holli_may: naiyak ako sa nangyari sayo.. i really feel you.. i know what you are feeling now.. ganyan din ako ngayon.. feeling ko blessing nadin yun nangyari sayo dahil hindi ka hinayaan ni GOD na mapunta ka sa lalaki na ganyan.. pero kung talagang para siya sayo pero alam naten it really takes time.. pero yung time na yan.. hindi naten alam..

i believe din na magkakatulong saten yung mga church organizations for positive views.. kasi si GOD lang talaga ang makakatulong saten ngayon

[holli_may]

thanks, sis. and i agree. You'll really know God more when you know He's the only one left for you to hang on. And prayers can really bring you closer to Him. Ang ikinasaya ko talaga, sis, was when it started, I never questioned God. What I did instead was ask for his continued guidance and strength. I admit I both asked him to bring ex back pero kung if it's His will talaga na di kami for each other, then I ask him added courage nalang for me to move on with my life. Siguro, sis, kaya lang ako nahihirapan ngayon is because though I trust God, but not completely, I'm afraid Kasi I told Him that His will be done pero alam naman ni God na deep in me, I really ask Him to bring ex back. Ang tao nga naman noh? But at least, I'm really trying to move on now, unlike before...

[tennisgirl]

wala bang 3rd party sis? or baka naman hirap syang mag-adjust sa new job nya?

[holli_may]

yun nga ang hindi ko confirmed, sis, eh. Kasi yung fight namin before he left, it was because of his new girl officemate. Sinabi ko lang naman sa kanya ang concern ko and he told me na na i have trust issue daw. Pero, I could proudly say din naman na I wsa not praning, in the first place, kasi yung mga posts naman nung girl sa FB nya ngayon, it all shouted about her attraction to a guy. Needless to name pero it also spells my ex's name. ang pinagtataka ko din bakit hindi pa sila naging sila ngayon, eh ex has all the right na to be in a relationship na because he's officially single. Kaya eto tuloy ako di maiiwasang mag-hope na baka ex still has feelings for me pero wala rin naman siyang ginagawa to have me back

about sa adjustment naman, sis, Pareho naman kaming nag-aadjust eh kasi sabay kaming nag-start all over again.Kaya sana he knew me better na adjustment din sa part ko lalo na me kutob ako dun sa girl. He should have given me time and would have been more understanding sa akin. Pero he gave up eh   alam kong me kasalanan ako but at least i did not give up. I tried my all to fix our problems  lalo na na me wedding plans na kami

[cuteapril_1215]

tama sis, just get yourself involved/busy at church...eventually, "time will heal the wound"...mahirap pero by God's grace, makakaya mo yan...nandito kami mga GT sisses u to listen, give you advices & some would even extend their time to meet up with you to help you move on...

[holli_may]

thanks, sis i really feel so fortunate for my new-found support group dito sa GT   love you all na, mga sisses!

[ysa.belle]

^imo, yan ang purpose ng gt...to have new friends and to give advices...

[holli_may]

tompak, sis

[chengkii]

Sis Holli May - it could be 2 things for ex. 1. He still respects you so he doesn't want to get into another relationship too soon. Or 2. He really just wants to be alone and experience being single in the meantime and find himself.

Good to know you are now working on allowing yourself to move on from this heartbreak. Goodluck and God Bless.

[holli_may]

thanks, sis. Sana nga whatever he's looking for, he'll be happy na. may it be peace, space, or a better relationship...sana mahanap na niya. I still want for him his happiness and peace of mind despite what happened.

[calin22]

^sis i envy you for saying that.. i feel you have moved on na.. like siguro small steps.. mine is really fresh.. its like nung monday lang.. anyways.. i believe din naman lagi naman nasisira ang isang relationship kung ibang party factor na at first di pa siya ng ex ko yun.. pero kahapon sinabi na niya.. it really hurts.. broken ka na nga.. looser pa..

[querubin]

Hi sis holli_may, how are you na? i feel your pain, im on the same stage of my life, moving on alone from a very traumatic heart break. here's the link of my thread so you can undestand my whole story.

http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,226727.0.html

Sobrang we have similar story.
 
  1. we are almost 2 years, 1 year and 8 months to be exact when we broke up.
  2. we also have plans of getting married, pero no formality nga lang.
  3. we also live together, and i am also in our house now alone.
  4. and also he is the one who broke up with me, sudden change as well.

BUT, you are SO LUCKIER, there's no physical hurt you had experience, no verbal abuse you had recieve.

BUT again, we are BOTH LUCKY, they are out of our life as early as now, na were not married pa with them.

I can say now that im on my half way of moving on. and I'm loving it, I learned a lot, I discover a lot from my self, and I'm enjoying a lot of new things now.

What Im doing to Move on, here's my list that can help you.

1. FORGIVE YOURSELF, we are not perfect, we have flaws, but atleast we love whole heartedly. Lam mo what I learned, guys will leave us blaming ourselves for the breakup, they will leave us thinking of what if(s), so STOP. Dont blame yourself, coz the truth is, THEY are who's WEAK.

2. DONT BE HARSH TO YOURSELF. Love your self, eat a lot of healthy food (but dont forget your diet), prettify(i love it when my friends saw me after the break up and said that I am blooming), go on shopping and spa. Travel and go out with your friends and family, your support group, they will make you feel love and lucky. wag mo kulong sarili mo, dahil lalo mo lang to tino-torture. maawa ka sa sarili mo.

3. Ask for GOD's guidance everytime. its simple, WHEN YOU REALIZED GOD IS ALL YOU HAVE, YOU REALIZE GOD IS ALL YOU NEEDED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

4. NO COMMUNICATION. Stop all the means of communication, its not just texting or calling him. what I mean here is DO NOT STALK whether in his FB or the girl's FB. That would not help you, lalo ka lang maasar pag may mababasa ka bago updates sa kanila or new photos. again you are torturing your self, and keeping the wounds fresh again and again. This would be hard pero PLEASE have a strong will na, avoid your self from stalking him IN ANY MEANS, news from friends, ANYTHING. delete mo muna sya sa fb mo. trust me on this. sobrang laking tulong.

5. MOVE ON. Continue moving on, minsan my times na magigising ka na your so down, na parang fresh lang ang lahat pero dont give up, that is part of moving on. Just continue what you have started on move on, move on, move on.

Sis aquacharly(my idol    ) is right, get out of the place you both stayed at, ako, by september 15, bye bye na ko sa love nest namin lol. so totally moving on na drama ko. medyo natagalan makalipat, dahil like you comfortable and safe na ko dun, and near din sa work place namin BUT, it is not helping me, the memories are there, konti mapatingin ka lang sa isa sulok, meron kana maiisip na memories nyo. so MOVE OUT from that house. makakahanap ka din. basta keep on looking and make this as your priority.

Sorry napahaba ha. hehe. But i hope this would help you. and lets keep on moving on.Heart break is such a major pain BUT its fun to be single, so yun ang enjoy natin. be positive *hugs for you

[tennisgirl]

Hi sis holli_may, how are you na? i feel your pain, im on the same stage of my life, moving on alone from a very traumatic heart break. here's the link of my thread so you can undestand my whole story.

http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,226727.0.html

Sobrang we have similar story.
 
  1. we are almost 2 years, 1 year and 8 months to be exact when we broke up.
  2. we also have plans of getting married, pero no formality nga lang.
  3. we also live together, and i am also in our house now alone.
  4. and also he is the one who broke up with me, sudden change as well.

BUT, you are SO LUCKIER, there's no physical hurt you had experience, no verbal abuse you had recieve.

BUT again, we are BOTH LUCKY, they are out of our life as early as now, na were not married pa with them.

I can say now that im on my half way of moving on. and I'm loving it, I learned a lot, I discover a lot from my self, and I'm enjoying a lot of new things now.

What Im doing to Move on, here's my list that can help you.

1. FORGIVE YOURSELF, we are not perfect, we have flaws, but atleast we love whole heartedly. Lam mo what I learned, guys will leave us blaming ourselves for the breakup, they will leave us thinking of what if(s), so STOP. Dont blame yourself, coz the truth is, THEY are who's WEAK.

2. DONT BE HARSH TO YOURSELF. Love your self, eat a lot of healthy food (but dont forget your diet), prettify(i love it when my friends saw me after the break up and said that I am blooming), go on shopping and spa. Travel and go out with your friends and family, your support group, they will make you feel love and lucky. wag mo kulong sarili mo, dahil lalo mo lang to tino-torture. maawa ka sa sarili mo.

3. Ask for GOD's guidance everytime. its simple, WHEN YOU REALIZED GOD IS ALL YOU HAVE, YOU REALIZE GOD IS ALL YOU NEEDED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

4. NO COMMUNICATION. Stop all the means of communication, its not just texting or calling him. what I mean here is DO NOT STALK whether in his FB or the girl's FB. That would not help you, lalo ka lang maasar pag may mababasa ka bago updates sa kanila or new photos. again you are torturing your self, and keeping the wounds fresh again and again. This would be hard pero PLEASE have a strong will na, avoid your self from stalking him IN ANY MEANS, news from friends, ANYTHING. delete mo muna sya sa fb mo. trust me on this. sobrang laking tulong.

5. MOVE ON. Continue moving on, minsan my times na magigising ka na your so down, na parang fresh lang ang lahat pero dont give up, that is part of moving on. Just continue what you have started on move on, move on, move on.

Sis aquacharly(my idol    ) is right, get out of the place you both stayed at, ako, by september 15, bye bye na ko sa love nest namin lol. so totally moving on na drama ko. medyo natagalan makalipat, dahil like you comfortable and safe na ko dun, and near din sa work place namin BUT, it is not helping me, the memories are there, konti mapatingin ka lang sa isa sulok, meron kana maiisip na memories nyo. so MOVE OUT from that house. makakahanap ka din. basta keep on looking and make this as your priority.

Sorry napahaba ha. hehe. But i hope this would help you. and lets keep on moving on.Heart break is such a major pain BUT its fun to be single, so yun ang enjoy natin. be positive *hugs for you

grabeh experience mo sis...atleast nakamove-on ka na. i like your suggestions esp. yung no. 4. ewan ko ba kung bakit may tendency tayo na mag-stalk and be updated pa dun sa mga taong nakasakit sa atin.

[ysa.belle]

^^agree ako sa post ni sis querubin...
to sis querubin, i hope you feel better.

*hugs*

[querubin]

@sis ysa.belle.. yeah im feeling better each day. thank god. aah thanks for the hug.. 

@sis tennisgirl.. well i can't say that im totally moved on. but atleast little by little, i KEEP ON MOVING ON. i guess human nature nanatin ang maging curious of WHAT, and HOW's our ex are going on, (minsan when i feel the urge to open my ex twitter, or his new girls facebook, bigla bigla ko hugutin yun plug para lang hindi ko na talaga makita. I stick to that and mag 1month na ko without communication at all.)

BUT REMEMBER its also our human nature TO GET HURT when we found out that they are happy , worst with someone new pa while tayo are still miserable. SO ano pipiliin natin between the two, syempre we dont want to hurt our self. SO STOP nalang. WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS NONE OF OUR BUSINESS anymore. Lets live our own life and love ourself. 

[holli_may]

@ sis calin22 === sis, i'm sorry to hear such dreadful confirmation. I may not be in the position yet to say this, but still...kaya mo yan, sis! The more pa tuloy na you could move on easier kasi you have proven na your ex was the one who really wronged you.

@ sis querubin === so sad to know, sis, that you experienced the same thing. makes me wonder tuloy, bakit kaya talagang me nag-eexist na mga taong nananakit? Either they mean it or not, but these things actually happen pala talaga to some But what made me sadder was to know that you were both physically and verbally abused. So bad talaga nung ex mo, sis   As of my moving out,sis, yep I'm really planning on moving out very very soon. Pag me opportunity lang talaga, siguradong igra-grab ko talaga yun. Currently, I'm beginning to scout for a new place na.

On the other hand, share ko lang ma sisses na, I wasn't able to go online yesterday because my cousins took me for an all-cousins bonding day out. They took me somewhere highland (overlooking the city) and received one of the best gifts about recovery. So again, they took me to a highland and kept their distance and very  quickjly, I understood their intenton.  So I took the opportunity and shouted at the top of my lungs! I did not throw curses in the wind but instead hininga ko lahat ng pain ko for ex. It was that moment that you were not worried to be heard by strangers or to be seen breaking down in broad daylight. I admit I cried but it felt so good after. So good talaga. It may seem temporary but it really helped me na mapagaan ang loob ko.