hi, i got interested in this topic when i heard my sis-in-law talking about bipolar disorder kasi nanunuod sila ng MMK. well, i heard that this kind of disorder eh
[textspeak!] tao daw ay super hyper tapos biglang maddepress, i searched in the internet and yes ganun nga din
[textspeak!] nabasa ko. i've read some symptoms and somehow i find myself in those symptoms (i hope wala akong sakit)
well, this is my story. siguro it started when i was in 3rd highschool, the issue about me and my bestfriend .. i wont elaborate much about that pero sabi ko sa kanya dati i will find something about myself, something na magiging happy ako pero until now d ko pa din nakikita
[textspeak!] bagay na un. since then, things get worst. i was not contented on what i have pero there are times na naco-convince ko
[textspeak!] sarili ko na i should be contented and happy about my life after that won't last for a long time. babalik na naman ako sa pag-iisip na i am not contented, i am not happy, i want something else, i want to quit on something that i am doing kasi i am not happy with it and the best solution for that is to escape far away, away from the people, away from the environment, away from anything. honestly, andito ako sa Abu Dhab, thinking that this is the best way to think about my life, about my plans in life pero kapag nakapag-isip na ako bigla naman akong tatamarin gawin
[textspeak!] mga bagay na un. actually, nagsimula maging malala last year, when my heart got broken because of that guy, i started drinking almost everyday, i will tell lies para lang maka-absent sa part-time job ko tapos ang gagawin ko lang naman eh uminom tapos i can sleep all day, tumaba ako, i think about a lot of things, nag-iimagine ako na life will be better pero hindi naman. tapos nasundan pa sa school, i dropped some of my subjects, hindi ako pumapasok kasi tinatamad ako kasi hindi na ako masaya. hindi ako masaya sa ginagawa ko, hindi ako masaya sa environment ko, hindi ako sa mga taong kasama ko. nawalan ako ng tiwala sa tao pati sa sarili ko. nung 2nd sem ganun din ginawa ko, worst part i just stay at home, drinking with some friends, sleep all day, eat all day and do nothing to make me feel better. and now i really feel lost in my life

i told my friend na magsosoul search ako dito pero sabi niya hindi naman daw ata tama na lumayo ako ng sobra para lang magsoul search. now, i am convincing myself to go back to school not for the people around me but for myself, na babalik ako para ayusin ang buhay ko and i won't think about what will they say about me. sa totoo lang i am still scared to face people, people who hurt me. people who i dont trust. gusto kong tulungan
[textspeak!] sarili kong matapos itong depression na ito. pero hindi ko alam how to start

actually, i am looking for someone to talk to but i always end up talking to myself.
