Divorce in the Philippines

[mooncake and leaves]

badw33d: why it hasn't been legalized? i'm pretty sure that those who are more familiar with the law will give a better answer. but i think, in order to legalize divorce, some changes in the constitution and in the family code have to be made. i'm not sure ha. oh and yes, of course, because there are opponents to the idea.

cassieee: unfortunately, we are living in a fast-paced society . whether or not machismo is embedded in our culture or we are a very liberal, equal-rights believer country, whether or not husbands and wives make time for each other, the fact is some marriages just don't work. i think we have a very glamorous or quite unrealistic view of divorce. we see celebrities go through it and we think, "hey, that's so easy, anyone can do that." in reality, divorce is really your last course of action. like what was said, it is just your way out when there's really nothing more you can do to save the marriage.

plus, in case of abuse, it is not just an issue of dependency. some people may still actually be in love with their abusive partners. some people may still want to keep the family intact for the sake of the children. some people are afraid of the shame this separation and the abusive behavior might bring. so there are a lot of factors at play and while divorce is an option, it doesn't mean that people will immediately grab it at the first sign of trouble.

having divorce does not mean that we don't value marriage. it just means we value our lives. there's life after a bad marriage and we are all entitled to enjoy it fully.

[juni]

^agree.  well said sis.

[pauline00]

  kasi karamihan sa atin...don't know how to let go of someone we love...selfishness din kasi eh...ang kasal ang laging  pinanghahawakan pero sa huli tayo lang din nasasaktan kasi tayo din ang niloloko db?mahilig kasi tayong magbakasakali na.....pwede pa at di na pwede...ganun din naman sa divorce eh pag di nyo na feel ang isa't isa....divorce na lang (di pa kayo gagastos ng malaki)....pag narealized nyo na u love each other pala after having that divorced pwede pa rin namn kayo maging lovers ulit db?atleast walang harassment to both parties..walang takutan o gastusan ng pagkalaki laki right?

[ebiko]

with so many annullment cases and legal separation being filed in our courts – dapat i-legalize na lang nila ... yun nga lang, kailangan baguhin ang constitution, ang family code, civil code ... well, para saan pa ang mga legislators natin kung hindi nila dapat pag-aralan ang mga ito.

– halos ganun din kasi ang nangyayari, after a year, may nagfi-file na ng annulment, ng legal separation – dahil sa incompatibility, BWS, etc., etc., we value marriage, but true, we must also value ourselves, our life!

[10tequilashots]

^ay, feel na feel ko tong line mo na to sis:

"we value marriage, but true, we must also value ourselves, our life!"


pasok!

[FauxyFate]

^^sana i-legalize n [textspeak!] toh sa Pilipinas, [textspeak!] nga rin naman ang nangyayari..humahaba at tumatagal [textspeak!] ang proseso...mas marami [textspeak!] tao na naaapektuhan

[nomad]

oo nga pansin ko yan, thrice ko na narining sa kasambahay namin na nakikinig sa radio station ng mga PAO most of the callers are asking about the grounds for annullment, [textspeak!] iba naman asking for advice because they are now commiting adultery.. kawawa naman sana ilegalize na to. Sana si Imee Marcos at si Villanueva bumaliktad na kasi they against legalizing it. Sana mabasa nila itong thread na ito at marinig nila ang mga radio station na aking nabaggit.

[juni]

nakakainis kasi yung iba naman diyan sa government kaya lang hindi pumapayag i-legalize ang divorce e kasi nagpapa-pogi sila sa simbahan at sa mga conservative people para suportahan sila pag eleksyon.  sometimes nauuna yung needs ng government official over the needs of the people.

[fides00]

i'm afraid of having divorce legalized in our country. it's not that i don't want to help those couples who find themselves doomed in their relationships. i fear that one day we'll have a las vegas of our own where people get married one night and get divorced the next. hindi pa ba sapat na may legal separation na at annulment?

maraming failed marriages, oo. pero that shouldn't be the sole reason why people should legalize it. dapat ang ayusin eh yung mga disposisyon ng tao. sa simula pa lang eh dapat siguraduhin na nila sa sarili nila na kakayanin nilang makasama yung napili nilang kabiyak for the rest of their lives. dapat maging realistic sila sa image nila ng kasal. hindi yung iisipin nila na buong married life nila eh hindi sila dadaanan ng bagyo. pinasok niyo yang sitwasyon na yan. kailangan panindigan niyo. all the more, if you have kids.

oo, maaring maraming babae ang nabubugbog ng asawa nila. pero nasa babae naman yun eh if she would tolerate his husband's behavior. there's always the police to run to pag ganyang mga kaso kasi labag na yan sa Rep. Act. 9262. the woman has to stand up for herself. or kung sakali mang grabe na, i agree with sis cassieee, iwan na lang niya kasama ng mga anak nila. they're partly at fault for letting their husbands treat them like they're worthless. kailangan rin namang itaguyod nila yung lakas nila bilang babae.

tsaka anong problema kung annulment lang ang meron dito sa pilipinas? eh ano naman kung na-annul yung marriage mo at ang magiging lagay sa mata ng tao eh parang hindi nangyari yung marriage niyong dalawa? hindi naman importante yun eh. bakit ka masasaktan eh ikaw mismo sa sarili mo alam mo naman na kinasal kayong dalawa at merong namagitan sa inyo kahit ano pa ang sabihin ng iba.

and personally, it would be a feat to legalize divorce in our country. una sa lahat, ang daming babaguhin na batas para lang maisakatuparan yan. at kung maisakatuparan man yan...sa bagal ng legal system dito sa pilipinas, madidismaya ka lang at ang bulsa mo sa haba ng panahon na ilalakad mo yung divorce niyo.

at isa pa, hindi siya para sa mga taong salat sa yaman. how could the underprivileged juan dela cruz afford divorce fees? hindi lang naman ang mga may kayang mag-asawa ang nagkakaproblema, pati yung mga mahihirap, nagkakaproblema din. kung choice lang ang pag-uusapan, oo, maari ngang magkaroon sila ng choice ng diborsyo. ang tanong lang eh paano nila maisasakatuparan yung choice na yun?

ang sa akin lang, marami pang problema ang karaniwang Pilipino na higit na mabigat kaysa sa problema niya sa relasyon nila ng asawa niya. the government must make an effort to uplift our country's state first before addressing the issue on divorce. sa tingin ko lang kasi eh problema ng mag-asawa yan eh. dapat sila umayos niyan. lalo na yung mga kaso na kesyo they've fallen out of love na or it's not working out anymore. the couple should face the situation as grown-ups and provide a solution to their unhappiness. kung malelegalize ang divorce, tingin ko ndi naman na dadaaan pa yang mga yan sa usapan at marriage counselling. when there's an easy way out, why bother?

[paulz_pooh]

it should be legalize! we must know how to separate the church and the state! that's why hindi tayu uma-asinso eh, kac we are always blinded by the religious aspects in life. religion does not have to do with couples who wants to get divorce, nor it cant help them. 

[mooncake and leaves]

maraming failed marriages, oo. pero that shouldn't be the sole reason why people should legalize it. dapat ang ayusin eh yung mga disposisyon ng tao. sa simula pa lang eh dapat siguraduhin na nila sa sarili nila na kakayanin nilang makasama  yung napili nilang kabiyak for the rest of their lives.

um, pray tell, how in the world can the government change the disposition of people? there is that argument that for a country to thrive, the government should have very minimal influence in their people's affairs. there is a separation of the public sphere and the private sphere, something debatable still. schools of theories have proposed ways to make people follow a certain pattern for utopia. the problem is- it's bloody murder to attempt changing their ways.

oo, maaring maraming babae ang nabubugbog ng asawa nila. pero nasa babae naman yun eh if she would tolerate his husband's behavior. there's always the police to run to pag ganyang mga kaso kasi labag na yan sa Rep. Act. 9262. the woman has to stand up for herself. or kung sakali mang grabe na, i agree with sis cassieee, iwan na lang niya kasama ng mga anak nila. they're partly at fault for letting their husbands treat them like they're worthless. kailangan rin namang itaguyod nila yung lakas nila bilang babae.

sounds like the issue of rape. there are millions of cases of dometic violence/abuse and it's not just women who are victims of this. husbands are also vulnerable to this kind of problem. the thing is, a violent person will strike whether the victim wants to or not. nabiktima na nga, sinisi pa. ano ba yun? and like i said, some people have a hard time getting out of abusive relationships out of fear and in pursuant of the ideal of an intact family. some people would keep fighting for their marriages and hope that the abusive spouses will see the light and change. it's not that easy to disengage from a relationship, especially a sacred and legally binding one.

tsaka anong problema kung annulment lang ang meron dito sa pilipinas? eh ano naman kung na-annul yung marriage mo at ang magiging lagay sa mata ng tao eh parang hindi nangyari yung marriage niyong dalawa? hindi naman importante yun eh. bakit ka masasaktan eh ikaw mismo sa sarili mo alam mo naman na kinasal kayong dalawa at merong namagitan sa inyo kahit ano pa ang sabihin ng iba.

the problem with annulment is that there is at times, no guarantee that it will be granted. it takes a longer time to get an annulment and the process, i believe, is more tedious than divorce. and there may be nothing wrong with how people will react to the failed marriage but to the people involved, it really is hard to accept that the marriage did not happen at all, that it was void from the beginning. isipin mo ganito- how did you feel when you first found out that santa claus does not exist? i don't know about you or other people, but i was heartbroken. so pissed off that i slept off the idea and now, i still believe that santa is preparing my gifts in the north pole, right at this very moment. parang ganyan din yun. harhar.

at isa pa, hindi siya para sa mga taong salat sa yaman. how could the underprivileged juan dela cruz afford divorce fees? hindi lang naman ang mga may kayang mag-asawa ang nagkakaproblema, pati yung mga mahihirap, nagkakaproblema din. kung choice lang ang pag-uusapan, oo, maari ngang magkaroon sila ng choice ng diborsyo. ang tanong lang eh paano nila maisasakatuparan yung choice na yun?

annulment is also expensive. what's worse about it is you pay so much over a long period of time without that assurance that you'll actually get the marriage annulled. but just because some people can not afford divorce doesn't mean that it should not be legalized. parang kotse. just because some people can't buy cars doesn't mean we can't sell them to those who can. (sensiya na sa analogy, andito bossing ko.) more likely, those who are keen on settling these legalities are the ones with properties and money at stake.

ang sa akin lang, marami pang problema ang karaniwang Pilipino na higit na mabigat kaysa sa problema niya sa relasyon nila ng asawa niya. the government must make an effort to uplift our country's state first before addressing the issue on divorce. sa tingin ko lang kasi eh problema ng mag-asawa yan eh. dapat sila umayos niyan. lalo na yung mga kaso na kesyo they've fallen out of love na or it's not working out anymore. the couple should face the situation as grown-ups and provide a solution to their unhappiness. kung malelegalize ang divorce, tingin ko ndi naman na dadaaan pa yang mga yan sa usapan at marriage counselling. when there's an easy way out, why bother?

dito ako nalito. in your second paragraph, you are arguing for the mingling of the public and private arenas. ngayon naman, wag na lang makialam ang gobyerno. oo madami tayong problema but the issue of families, of marriages is not child's play. it should be taken seriously and the government is there to provide order in every aspect of our lives. don't worry about the order of affairs, their job is to see that every need is well taken care of. plus, what makes you so sure that they won't go to marriage counselling? in the US, ang lakas ng raket ng mga yan dahil nga people still would not want to be divorced. people spend a lot of time and money looking for the perfect partners and trying to have it all. what makes you think that Filipinos, with a deeply-rooted sense of family and marriage values, would fare worse than Americans? no one wants to be a divorcee, i tell you. it's painful and it's costly. the aim of divorce is to protect people in the event that their marriages turn into an unfavorable direction. and ok fine, freedom. something annulment and legal separation sometimes fail to give those who would benefit from it most.

[nomad]

i second the motion w/ u sis mooncake. Yes theres alot of problem in our countries and family issues is one of the major problem here.

[hershey]

mas maganda na inde ilegalized iyong divorce kc nawawala iyong sanctity ng marriage. lagi kc nilang resrt iyong divorce tapos hahanap ng bagong partner  na papakasalan then magkakaron ng gulo magdidivorce na naman. parang lagi na lang iyon ang option. para tuloy clang nagbibilang ng asawa

dapt pag-usapn nila ang problem and try to work out those problem. kung nag try trty harder pa

[melanzana]

oo, maaring maraming babae ang nabubugbog ng asawa nila. pero nasa babae naman yun eh if she would tolerate his husband's behavior. there's always the police to run to pag ganyang mga kaso kasi labag na yan sa Rep. Act. 9262. the woman has to stand up for herself. or kung sakali mang grabe na, i agree with sis cassieee, iwan na lang niya kasama ng mga anak nila. they're partly at fault for letting their husbands treat them like they're worthless. kailangan rin namang itaguyod nila yung lakas nila bilang babae.

I don't know the exact statistic but even in the US only a fraction of domestic violence cases are reported to the police.  And is it always the police's number one priority? I don't think so.  How much more is it in the Philippines?

at isa pa, hindi siya para sa mga taong salat sa yaman. how could the underprivileged juan dela cruz afford divorce fees? hindi lang naman ang mga may kayang mag-asawa ang nagkakaproblema, pati yung mga mahihirap, nagkakaproblema din. kung choice lang ang pag-uusapan, oo, maari ngang magkaroon sila ng choice ng diborsyo. ang tanong lang eh paano nila maisasakatuparan yung choice na yun?

Approximately, how much does it cost to get an annulment sa Pilipinas? is it cheaper than getting a divorce? or is it about the same?

[melanzana]

mas maganda na inde ilegalized iyong divorce kc nawawala iyong sanctity ng marriage. lagi kc nilang resrt iyong divorce tapos hahanap ng bagong partner  na papakasalan then magkakaron ng gulo magdidivorce na naman. parang lagi na lang iyon ang option. para tuloy clang nagbibilang ng asawa

So in the Philippines if you get your marriage annuled you're not allowed to marry again in the future?

I have to partly disagree how some describe divorce as "an easy way out."  The process of divorce may seem simple and "easy" but is it always "easy" getting out of a divorce?  Like mooncake and leaves pointed out do you always leave unscathed, unhurt or unemotional?  I would like to think the feeling is the same after getting an annulment or after separating from your spouse.  I've known some women over the years who were down in the dumps, depressed and just had a hard time sometimes for a year after getting divorced.  In regards to religion, even in some Protestant sects divorce is still frowned upon.

[mulawin]

kasi karamihan sa atin...don't know how to let go of someone we love...selfishness din kasi eh...ang kasal ang laging  pinanghahawakan pero sa huli tayo lang din nasasaktan kasi tayo din ang niloloko db?mahilig kasi tayong magbakasakali na.....pwede pa at di na pwede...ganun din naman sa divorce eh pag di nyo na feel ang isa't isa....divorce na lang (di pa kayo gagastos ng malaki)....pag narealized nyo na u love each other pala after having that divorced pwede pa rin namn kayo maging lovers ulit db?atleast walang harassment to both parties..walang takutan o gastusan ng pagkalaki laki right?

agree ako sayo

[fides00]

i'm not saying that the governement should change the people's disposition. malamang imposible yun. what i'm saying is people ought to put themselves and their acts in check. hindi magkakaproblema ng malaki ang relasyon kung ang mag-asawa eh sinisigurado na nasa lugar sila sa lahat ng ginagawa nila. kung walang mang-aagrabyado at walang magpapa-agrabyado, hindi kailangang humantong sa diborsyo ang mag-asawa.

babae man o lalaki yan, if there is violence in a relationship, there's always annulment to resort to. legal ground na yun for annulment. like i've said, i'm not against annulment. what i'm not particualrly keen about is divorce. at kung sakali mang nasaktan ang isang tao ng asawa niya, hindi ko naman sinasabi na dapat agad din sisihin yung biktima. pero kung hinahayaan niyang ulit-ulitin ng abusado niyang asawa yung pambubugbog, would she not be partly at fault for not standing her ground despite him/her being assaulted?

for some reason, i never believed that there truly was a santa claus. i always saw his character being played on tv and the movies and sure, i enjoyed watching. but i knew that that chimney-creeping-stocking-stuffing figure was purely fictional. i mean, the normal filipino house doesn't have a chimney for crying out loud. i asked my parents about him, and they never denied me of the truth of his nonexistence. so no broken hearts in my case. i don't think there's any relation with the absence of a santa and voided marriages. i mean, matatanda naman na yung mga nagpapa-annul ah? they know better than to sulk over the thought that their previous marriage was deemed to be not valid from the beginning. what matters is that they know in their hearts that they have had a history with their estranged spouses. at kung hiwalayan naman talaga ang habol niyo eh i don't think na importante pa kung paano ma-babrand yung past niyo. you somehow begged your way out of the relationship. ngayon na binigay na nga sayo eh magiinarte ka pa ba?

as i have said, hindi ko naman sinabi na makialam ang gobyerno. ang sabi ko ayusin ng tao yung sarili nila. hindi pwede na idepende yung pagkaayos ng buhay ng isang tao sa pagsasakatuparan ng isang batas. kailangan magsimula ka sa pagaayos ng sarili mo. a dysfunctional marriage is never just one party's fault. kaya ma-legalize man ang divorce, kung ikaw walang babaguhin sa pagkatao mo na nagdudulot ng problema sa mga relasyon mo, balewala yung pagkakaroon ng divorce dito sa bansa. you'll just be making the same mistake over and over again kung magbabalak ka mang magpakasal ulit.

i really do not think that divorce is the solution to "protect people in the event that their marriages turn into an unfavorable direction". couples should find solutions within themselves. do not expect the government to clean up after every filipino household's mess because i'm sure that every family has their share of turbulence. bago kayo magpatulong sa iba, tulungan niyo muna sarili niyo. humanap kayo ng paraan para tumino yung samahan niyo. and i'm not saying na magtratuhan kayo na parang boyfriend-girlfriend na maghihiwalay at magbabalikan kung "na-fefeel" niyo pa na mahal niyo pa ang isa't isa. i mean, come on. there is a reason why before getting married, you must be of a certain age. expected na of you to be more responsible with your actions and decisions in life. kasi kung hindi, siguro dapat taasan na lang yung age requirement for marriage to 35 or something. kidding aside... i think that in the end, if you ever decide to give up your marriage, do so if it is proving to be a menace and an immediate danger to your life and your kids' life. do not easily sacrifice the sanctity of your marriage in exchange for the loss of your once rosy pre-conceived notion of married life.

[juni]

tsaka anong problema kung annulment lang ang meron dito sa pilipinas? eh ano naman kung na-annul yung marriage mo at ang magiging lagay sa mata ng tao eh parang hindi nangyari yung marriage niyong dalawa? hindi naman importante yun eh. bakit ka masasaktan eh ikaw mismo sa sarili mo alam mo naman na kinasal kayong dalawa at merong namagitan sa inyo kahit ano pa ang sabihin ng iba.

it's helpful for the people involved to have the experience acknowledged not just by themselves, but also by other people.  mas nakakatulong para makapag-move on.  it's not the most important aspect in a divorce, but it is still significant.  when you go through something hard and traumatic, ang sakit nun and partly nakakainsulto din if it's treated as if it never happened, na parang it's all in your head or nag-iinarte ka lang.

and personally, it would be a feat to legalize divorce in our country. una sa lahat, ang daming babaguhin na batas para lang maisakatuparan yan. at kung maisakatuparan man yan...sa bagal ng legal system dito sa pilipinas, madidismaya ka lang at ang bulsa mo sa haba ng panahon na ilalakad mo yung divorce niyo.

true, maraming babaguhing batas for divorce to be legalized here.  kaya i think dapat magsimula na sila, kasi it will take some time.  kung sa gastos naman ang pag-uusapan, mabubutas din naman ang bulsa mo sa annulment.  parang mas matagal pa nga ang aabutin pag annulment kaysa sa divorce.  it's going to take a long time to argue and prove that the marriage was not valid from the start.  you'd have to go all the way back to the very beginning.  the quickest annulment i've heard of took 4 years.  pero hindi daw rare ang mag-antay ng 6 years, may mga inaabot pa nga daw ng 10.

at isa pa, hindi siya para sa mga taong salat sa yaman. how could the underprivileged juan dela cruz afford divorce fees? hindi lang naman ang mga may kayang mag-asawa ang nagkakaproblema, pati yung mga mahihirap, nagkakaproblema din. kung choice lang ang pag-uusapan, oo, maari ngang magkaroon sila ng choice ng diborsyo. ang tanong lang eh paano nila maisasakatuparan yung choice na yun?

ganyan din naman ang dilemma ng mga mahihirap with other legal issues like wrongful termination, etc.  may options sila to address their situation, pero wala silang perang pambayad.  at least the options are in place na, posible na gumawa sila ng legal action.  kailangan na lang nila ng way to go through the process.  yung iba nakakakuha ng pro bono lawyer or yung mura lang yung singil.  malay natin, in the future may mga mag-offer din ng pro bono divorce services.

sa tingin ko lang kasi eh problema ng mag-asawa yan eh. dapat sila umayos niyan. lalo na yung mga kaso na kesyo they've fallen out of love na or it's not working out anymore. the couple should face the situation as grown-ups and provide a solution to their unhappiness. kung malelegalize ang divorce, tingin ko ndi naman na dadaaan pa yang mga yan sa usapan at marriage counselling. when there's an easy way out, why bother?

divorce is a possible solution to a marriage gone bad, but it is NOT an easy way out.  it's no walk in the park, there are lawyers, court appearances and life changes involved.  it will take time, effort, money to go through this.  it's not like fast food that you can get in an instant.  kaya it doesn't mean na once divorce is made available that people won't bother saving their marriages.

[angel07]

for me it should be legalized.  hindi dapat masira ang buhay ng mag asawa dahil sa hindi nila mahal ang isat isa.  they should be given a chance to find somebody else that would make they're lives more complete.  life should not end after a failed marriage.  lalo lang din mahihirapan ang mga anak nila kung makikita nila na laging nag aaway ang parents nila.

[rvk_08]

It's not yet time.  Di pa buo ang kaalaman ng mga Pilipino sa Divorce. Mas madami disadvantages.