What will you do if your husband is looking for an extra service?

[ehlabart]

Hi mga sis.. how would you react if you will see his account sa isang temptation site asking a masseuse if how much ang extra service at ano ano inclusion? I confronted hubby regarding this siya pa ang galit ha! to the point na nasabi ko kasi na Hindi na ako makikipagdo sakanya baka mahawa pa ako.. This has been our issue ever since na nagloko siya dati, akala ko okay na kami eto nanaman ulit.. mapakabit, walkers etc. Siya pa ngayon ang Defensive mode: nagbabasa lang naman daw siya at walang plano.

Honestly nagnumb ako at nabuhusan ng tubig na malamig ang pakiramdam pero parang di  na siya ganon kasakit for me.. nasasakatan lang ego ko na bakit ganyan siya na alam niya makukuha lang ako sa sorry sorry na yan, even though alam ko sa sarili ko mahala niya naman pamilya namin pero bakit ganon need pa magextra service. Gusto ko humiwalay pero di ko magagawa kasi sa ngayon I have no one else to help us for the mean time, magsusuffer ang kids ko pero ako naman ang kawawa sa marriage na to... walang easy way out. Di ko na alam kung sino pa pagsasabihan ko sa situation mo ayaw ko ng magbadvibes siya ulit sa family ko.

[yannuh]

^teka lang sis, baka naman you are overreacting. alam ko mahirap pero try natin muna mag isip logically. kausapin mo muna syang maayos, bakit gusto nyang i-try yung extra service. out of curiousity ba? may kulang ka bang ginagawa currently or baka naman he can suggest things na pwede mo o nyong gawin together na hindi nyo pa nagawa before. or research ka din, baka kulang lang sa spice ang mga bagay-bagay. i know i am not in the point to give you advice kasi i've just been married recently pero nung nabasa ko'to, alam ko parehas tayo ng initial reaction pero kung iisipin ko ng mas maayos (nakagalit at naihinga ko na ang sama ng loob ko), mas ok kung kakausapin mo sya.

nakakatawa pero nakaexperience na kami ng ganito. hubby and i went to a nail salon/spa tapos nagpa mani at pedi ako then sya naman nagpamassage. tapos after ng massage at pauwi na kami, kinwento sken ni hubby na yung masseuse daw was trying to seduce him. siguro nag ooffer ng extra service. pero thank God hubby resisted the temptation and kinwento nya sken lahat. gusto ko sana bumalik dun at sugurin si Ate na kesyo kasama ako at nasubukan pang landi landiin ang asawa ko. Pero dinedma ko na lang kasi alam kong di naman ganung lalaki si hubby.

Kaya ayun sis, usap munang mabuti, wag hiwalay agad. kawawa ang kids and family kasi sila magsusuffer sa huli.

[Girltalker2]

TS, sayo narin nanggaling, wala ka rin naman magagawa. So anong puede mong gawin?

Ironically kasi, if the Wife is ready to walk out , mas takot at umaayos si hubby. This happened to a friend of mine. Same situation. Pero sya, kinausap nya ng maayos - telling him she cannot tolerate it and gave him a warning. If she catches him again, aalis sya. Ayub, tumino yung asawa nya. Mas naging sweet at yung Friend ko din promised to make more effort din to spend quality time with Hubby at di lang lagi with the kids.

In your case, dapat talaga strong ka, para di ka loko-lokohin lang. Pero syempre once you say iiwan mo sya kung nagloloko sya, gawin mo talaga.

[TomHansen]

Siyempre defensive mechanism na ng mga cheaters ang magalit kapag nahuli mo so wag ka nang mabigla sa reaction niya. What he was going to do/doing is considered cheating sis no "buts" ang tanong na lang is kaya mo bang itolerate yung ganyan from your husband? Nagloko na siya dati and pinatawad mo na ngayon inuulit niya palalampasin mo pa rin ba gaya ng ginawa mo na dati?

May work ka ba sis? Start saving na, kumuha ka sa savings niya at ilagay mo sa accnt mo. Magtabi ka ng malaking halaga just in case gusto mo na siyang hiwalayan may madudukot ka. Man-up sis, huwag mong iparamdam sa asawa mo na tin-tolerate mo yung ginagawa niya, ikwento mo sa family niya at family mo para mapahiya.. Kapag hiniwalayan mo siya hindi ibig sabihin hindi niya susustentuhan ang mga bata responsibilidad niya yun. Magpakastrong ka, hindi dahil siya ang padre de familia magpapamartyr ka na lang at susunod sa gusto niya, im sure if ever hiwalayan mo ang asawa mo your kids will understand pagtanda nila..

Or you can forget about this and and hope na hindi maging miserable ang buhay mo at ng kids mo..

[drag0nfly]

Agree ako dun sa takutin na pag nangyari ulit, aalis ka at kids nyo. Wag kang papadala sa sorry sorry. Stand your ground at dapat he should make it up to you big time. Ang kapal lang ng mukha nyang magalit. Napaka-lame ng excuse na nagtatanong lang sya. The fact na nagtanong ibig sabihin interesado.

[kvandenhaak]

Nevermind the extra service. The fact that he has an account with whatever temptation site is already a huge issue.

[blushberry]

I would really take that as a red flag.  It's not common behaviour to go online and have accounts like that kung married ka na.  When in doubt, trust your intuition.  Sana lang magbago siya for the sake of your family. 

[dell]

neutral opinion lang for the threadstarter...

try to know the "why" is he doing such. at this point we can only assume and assuming is bad because the reaction AND outcome may become bad too, in which utterly beats the purpose of "helping someone" (oh my God! my English is good-looking today = )

[yn061515]

Palalayasin ko sa bahay at sa buhay namin mag-ina. 
Whatever his reason is, I don't care. Hindi katanggap-tanggap. Lakad. Lumayas ka at wag ka ng babalik.

Kung sakali lang naman. Hindi naman nya ginagawa. Takot lang din siguro. 

[itcha123]

Mga sis, dapat kasi ang mag asawa ay open ang communication sa isa't-isa or ito yung tinatawag na dialogue. Kung baga any topic is very much welcome. Kapag naging constant practice na even the worst situatuion maidiscuss ng maayos.

[sparklingjewel]

Prepare you Plan B, but dont rush into it. Make sure you're prepared once you take it. There are no second chances for cheaters.