Asawa at Nanay: Nakakapagod din ba minsan?

[lovemeagain30]

Or expected na satin mga  babae na maging superwoman palagi?  Share your thoughts naman ladies on how you cope up with stress of family life. Sometimes I'm guilty of this and it makes me feel bad. No marriage is perfect naman and no mom is a superwoman. however sometimes this tasks delegated to a woman can also be--overwhelming. not sure though if anyone will agree.

[ri-anne]

Yes it can be overwhelming...especially kung ikaw lang lahat ang gagawa, ikaw lang lahat inaasahan, ikaw lang lahat ang nagkakandahirap bumuhay at mag-asikaso sa pamilya.
Kaya nga huwag akuin lahat ng responsibilidad. Kaya nga may katuwang sa buhay - ang asawa. You need a supportive partner. Dapat magtulungan sa lahat ng bagay.
Katulong sa pagbuhay ng pamilya, katulong sa mga gawaing bahay (esp sa walang mga kasambahay), katulong sa pag-alaga at pag-asikaso sa mga anak.
And of course, as a woman, we should not also neglect ourselves. We should also take care of ourselves, to feel loved, cared for, well rested, etc....if not, eventually you'll feel exhausted, irritable, burned out, even depressed.
After all, how can we give something that we don't have.

[lovemeagain30]

^salamat Sis sa advise mo. Just what I need   

[Girltalker2]

Yes kailangan partner mo supportive at participative. Hindi barkada at inuman at good time lang lagi ang hanap. Pag pahirapan na, ikaw na lahat.

For me the key is to delegate as much tasks you think is not value added. I'm referring to some chores around the house, maliban nalang siguro kung maselan family mo sa food (you have to personally prepare the food), etc.

Sakin it was manageable so long as I had reliable helpers. I spend more of my time with activities with the kids and family, my career and hobbies, allocate vacation time with family 3-4 times a year, once with partner; then make sure you have bonding time din with your hubby para hindi mawala communication. Too bad in my case, my ex hubby travelled a lot, then he strayed, kaya ayun, nagka mistress na ka officemate. Kaya when I left my marriage, mas manageable pa for me kasi I don't have a husband to take care of. May helper parin ako, I take care of myself parin, and have time with the kids. I think I even have more time now for career and studies. 😀

[Girltalker2]

Aside from reliable helpers, naisip ko rin pala, one key factor that made life manageable - my workplace. It was just a 15min drive from home (45 min if traffic), with an understanding boos (flexible hours) so I can go to my kids school at times or accompany them to the pedia, at times do groceries during lunch

[twelvth_goddess]

I'm a full time working mom to a 4-year old with no yaya for more than a year na. My husband helps me a lot and we coordinate schedules as much as we can but with all things put together, nakakapagod talaga.

Ever since we moved to a new place, mas nadoble pagod ko. I have to cook everyday and drive my daughter to my mom's house before going to work. I usually tend to my daughter in the mornings since I start work around lunchtime, my husband naman starts at 7am. Sometimes when my husband's schedule changes, I have to drive her and pick her up from my mom's and naiiyak ako talaga sa pagod mag drive after a long day at work tapos traffic pa sa C5.

I've been able to cope with help from my mom and sister. Running 2nd year na to na wala kong yaya and I'm not even looking for one anymore pero in fairness buhay pa naman kameng mag asawa. It helps to have a really efficient schedule, pag weekdays, every minute counts saken talaga. Weekends are sacred for us kase it's our time to sleep longer, to spend more time with our daughter, and to pamper ourselves. Even with a tight schedule, nakakapag workout pa din ako. Yun lang, I really just need to wake up earlier.

Our bosses are also quite understanding too kaya we're careful not to take advantage as well. Most of my meetings that happen after my work schedule pero I take them on the phone kaya minsan habang nagda-drive ako naka conference call pako sa meetings. Being a working mom/wife is really tough and there are things that need to be sacrificed at times but it's a choice that I have made. Basta at the end of the day, I know that my priority is my family. After all, they're the reason why I'm working.

[Girltalker2]

^ tsaka sis, ang ok sa inyong mag-asawa is yung cooperation. Somehow kahit busy ang araw, you have to interact and coordinate with each other and communication is never lost.

[twelvth_goddess]

^Yes sis, true yan

Buti ka pa, malapit ang workplace. Ako kase from Marcos Highway to BGC. Kung tutuusin, 20-minute distance lang to but with traffic nagiging 1 hour ang byahe ko. Minsan nae-extend pa to almost 2 hours

[ri-anne]

^ na-experience ko din yang maiyak sa sobrang pagod. after a very tiring day, habang nagkukwento ako kay hubby umiyak ako, siguro stressed out na rin.
Ayun, sakto wala syang pasok the next day kaya sya lahat from preparing the kids to school early morning, cook breakfast, hatid -sundo sa school mga kids,  etc, rest day ko that day...lol!  Siempre after nun bumawi naman ako hehe
Siguro nakatulong din talaga na medyo maluwag work sched ni hubby. At ngayon lumalaki na mga kids, nakakatulong na sila...unlike pag mga maliliit at baby pa.

and i agree with the other sisses here, kung dagdag lang sa magiging pabigat si partner imbes na makatulong, eh better nga i-let go na lang for a less stressful life.

[lovemeagain30]

Thanks mga sis sa reply niyo!! 

A little background on where my sentiments are coming from, my family is living abroad. I have 2 kids. Eldest is 10 and youngest is 9 months palang. I was a single parent to my eldest for 8 years ( we we're in Manila pa nuon) then I recently married my long time bf (halos 2 taon palang kaming kasal)-- siya na ang tumayong ama sa panganay ko and now also a father to my youngest.

Anyways, living abroad means "walang yaya". Walang helper. Walang cook. Walang labandera. In short, me and my hubby will have to share the household chores apart from taking care of the kids and driving them to the daycare. On top of that, Me and my hubby holds full time office job.

Ang hirap. nakakaubos din pala ng lakas. When I was a single mom to Kuya, i hired a yaya since nagtatrabaho ako sa BPO nuon and I need someone to look after him kasi wala naman akong asawa. Back then, I only have to worry about the expenses in our house. Hindi ko na pinuproblema pa maglinis ng bahay, uulamin namin mag ina or mag alaga mismo sa anak ko (when i'm tired) kasi andiyan naman si yaya to assist me. I was totally dependent on her help.

Now it's different. Since I got married and we are living abroad, wala ng pamilya maasahan pa. Hindi ka rin makapag hire ng helper kasi napaka mahal ng service, baka sakanila palang ubos na sahod ko. I also gave birth 9 months ago and exclusively breastfeeding din ako til now.. oha! 

I love being a Mom and Wife. Isa eto sa bucket list ko nuon na nalagyan ko na ng check!  However, no matter how great you are as a mom and wife dumadating din pala yung point na 'physically' mapapagod ka. Holding a full time work also adds to my stress but I need my job also. Recently I felt I was running like a hamster. Hati naman kami mag asawa sa household chores but because asawa ko siya at hindi yaya, I can't expect to do things -- exactly the way I want it! Ha!  so and ending minsan ako na gumagawa ng part niya para sigurado lang na maayos.

I feel bad whenever I feel tired. Ewan ko ba feeling ko kasi mali na maramdaman ko yung pagod. nilalabanan ng isipan ko na I shouldn't feel it. Para kasing if I feel tired automatic na-- i'm a bad mom/wife. 

Last night my husband hugged me tight when i was sleeping and naluha ako. I told him I was feeling really tired and he hugged me more. 

This morning I woke up feeling better. Kailangan ko lang siguro iiyak eto and then move on. Isipin ko nalang it's a phase of life and soon it will be over before i know it. Advice nga sakin kahapon ng ninang namin sa kasal, 'lingon lingon lang daw ako sa paligid'. marami daw nangangarap ng mabuting asawa at anak. i have it and i should feel blessed. 

 

[Shean06]

Oo talagang di maiiwasan na mapagod din tayo. Part ng life yan, kahit sa anong aspeto naman ng buhay, may mga times na napapapagod din talaga tayo. Pero eto din naman ang pinakamasarap at pinakamasayang papel sa buhay natin. Ang pagiging asawa at ina sa mga anak. Sabi nga nila nothing compares to being a mother and a wife lalo na kung if you have a loving and supportive husband and adorable kid(s). Mahirap minsan pero fullfilling naman. Alam nyo yung pikaramdam na kahit pagod ka sa dami ng gawa buong maghapon pero makita mo lang na nakangiti ang mag-ama mo, wala lahat ng pagod. Bonus pa pag maglalambing na sayo. 

[janachen]

Mahirap maging asawa kung pabigat din ang husband. 3 years ako lahat. Siguro sa pagluluto, alaga ng konti sa baby, paglalaba ng konti yung partner ko kasi no choice sya, ako ang nagwowork eh.

Nakakapagod yun bang makikita mo na easy go lucky yung partner mo sa buhay samantalang ako kayod kalabaw at mamomroblema sa mga expenses. BIGTI na..LOL

Hanggang sa napagod, nasagad na ang pasensya ko and recently sinabi ko nalang na I can handle myself at kaya kong buhayin ang aming baby. Totoo talaga na saka mo lang makikilala ang partner pagnakatira na sa iisang bubong.

Mahirap magwork ang relasyon talaga kung iisa lang ang may gustong magwork ang realsyon.

[princessrio]

even superheroes need some time off. 

we are also living in abroad. i'm sahm. grabe naman makaubos ng lakas at pasensya ang toddler namin. i thank the Lord always for giving me a very supportive husband. he, very much, participates sa house chores (he cooks, washes our clothes, etc. He even paint my nails! haha.. ). He is very much into taking care of our son and taking care of me. he is a good husband and father. pag medyo galit na ako sa kid namin or masama ang pakiramdam ko, he takes care of everything.

i don't have friends around. wala naman ako masyadong kilala dito. hindi na ako masyadong naghahanap ng labas labas. ok na sa akin na husband and son ko kasama ko pag lumalarga. minsan, nilalayuan nila ako kung gusto ko magshopping or some time alone. FB lang ang libangan ko pero now, i'm learning how to cook and bake as well.

There will always be good and bad days. Ito ang mantra ko.. "If today is a good day, tomorrow would be better. If today is a bad day, tomorrow is a new day."

Don't worry. You are not alone. Every one else feels tired one time or another..one instance or another. 

[wandergirl1980]

I can relate sis TS. Naalala ko 3 years ago nagpaalam na unuwi ng probinsya ang yaya ng anak ko one week pa lang feeling ko tumanda na ako ng 10 years hahaha. Gagawa ka sa bahay, mag-alaga ka pa ng bata, then work pa. Halos araw-araw mainit ang ulo ko sa pagod at halos araw-araw din kami mag-away ng asawa ko kasi masyado akong na-overwhelm. Tumutulong naman si hubby sa household chores pero siguro bilang babae mataas yung expectations ko sa outcome. sa totoo lang, ngayon ko pa lang talaga natanggap yung sitwasyon ko...hahaha ang tagal di ba. Wala pa rin fixed na sistema sa bahay...pero mas tanggap ko na kung di masyadong maayos ang bahay, hindi aki magluto araw-araw, at hindi laging fully made-up ang bed pagkagising. Dati kasi sis gusto ko lahata maayos, lagi malinis, araw-araw luto talaga. Ngayon naisip ko di naman kelangan...konting diskarte lang. siguro ang importante bukod sa supportive partner is stick to something that works kahit hindi perfect. Ngayon pag naiisip ko yung haggardness ko the last 2 1/2 years natatawa na lang ako

[super bratinella]

Asawa at Nanay - Hindi nakakapagod but very rewarding.

The responsibility that entails is the one makes us tired, tulad nga ng sabi namin mag asawa everytime nakaka kita kami ng mga nanay na nasa majongan or may mga bisyo or tambay maghapon sobrang daming nilang time araw araw kulang na lang magpa seminar kami kung paano ang time management sa kanila. If you think sila ang mga magulang na irresponsable.

We choose to be responsible mother and wife at this means we have to do our best to manage/juggle household, our children, our husband and sometimes work all at the same time para maging best sila, and resulting na parang pressure tayo everyday at dun natin nararamdaman mapagod.

In my case I am working. I have 3kids (14,8 and 2), but I have househelp kaya naman minimal lang ang pagod kasi I trained my househelp to handle the chores according sa gusto ko, pag may ayaw ako sinasabi ko agad less stress.

My eldest I trained her with household chores kahit may househelp kami and my 8yrs too, pero minimal lang. Bunso ko hands on ako, at hindi ko inaasa sa yaya.  I cook and I counter check everything sa house everyday, I do checklist for the week and daily para at least I know what to do. I thing at a time lang hindi pwede sabay sabay mahina lang ang katawang lupa natin mga nanay.

I still work out, have me time (mani and pedi/massage),  read book, have date with hubby, bond with my kids.  Even when we do not have perfect life at least we can make it balance.

[three8one]

para sakin you have to enjoy kung ano man yung ginagawa mo besides ginagawa mo naman yun para sa pamilya mo at hindi pa sa pansarili mong benipisyo. don't entertain any negativity para walang puwang sa isip mo na makaisip ka ng mga nakakapagod at nakakasawang bagay bilang may bahay ng isang pamilya.

kung ano't ano man ang kalabasan ng binibigay mong effort sa family mo i guess lalabas at lalabas yan sa pamilya mo. i mean, kung masaya kang pinagsisibilhan ang asawa mo at mga anak mo masayang pamilya din ang magrereflect. pero kung puro ka reklamo, kesyo dapat ganito kesyo dapat ganyan puro negative ang pumapasok yan yung kadalasan may problema sa asawa o di naman kaya sa pamilya. para sa akin kung may mga pagkakataon man na nahihirapan tayo dapat ipagpasalamat pa natin yun dahil maaaring inihahanda lamang tayo sa mga mas mahihirap pang sitwasyon.

pagnakakaramdam tayo ng pagkapagod pwede naman pansamantala magpahinga but never susukuan ang isang problema.


 

[Janelc]

We live abroad too and we can't afford househelp.  I work full time and I used to have a babysitter pero as in alaga lang talaga ng bata ang trabaho niya but now full time na si bunso sa school so after school care na lang ang binabayaran ko.  I make dinner every week night at pag medyo late and uwi ko hubby will start dinner na or he will buy take out for dinner. he also helps in the clean up after dinner.  Pagdating naman sa gawaing bahay maasahan ko si hubby but he will never fold laundry don't know why haha. Siya na rin nagpapaligo kay bunso. I also told him that weekends I'm off from the kitchen so he takes us out to eat bale family bonding na rin. By 9PM the kids are off to bed bonding time naman namin ni hubby yun while the laundry is in the washer.  A glass of wine while watching teleseryes na kami.

Nakakapagod din naman talaga kasi minsan feeling ko pareho kaming nagtatrabaho full time pero mas marami akong gawaing bahay kesa sa kanya pero nawawala lahat ang pagod ko pag when hubby and kids tell me how much they like the dinner I made for them or how much they love me etc.  Relax sis sooner or later the kids will grow up so you won't have to cater to them all the time.

[izabelle]

Tao lang din naman, napapagod din pero kapag masaya ka sa ginagawa mo, baliwala yung pagod sayo.


Wala kaming yaya pero meron kaming house helper na uwian araw araw, sya bahala maglaba, magplantsa at mag linis ng house.

Then my mom cooks for us. Malaking tulong.

Yung company ng husband ko, allows him to work at home and thankful kami because of that kaya naalagaan nya daughter namin.

more than 3 yrs ng ganito set up namin and surviving naman! hehe

[lordknight_aiz.18]

Sobrang nakakapagod din. Stay at home mom ako. Not working. No helper also(choice namin not to hire a helper).May 1 yr 10 mos baby kami ni hubby.. Nagagawa ko lang most of the household chores pag uwi ni hubby from work. Pagdating ni hubby, kilos na ko ng kilos. Luto, hugas, linis, laba. I know pagod din si hubby from work pero minsan naiinis na ko kasi feeling ko kailangan ko ng tutulong sakin pero walang tumutulong.