When a spoiled brat grows up...

[sugar n spice]

Have you met a spoiled adult? Someone who only knows how to "take" than to "give"? At minsan parang ikaw pa ang magte-"thank you" at sa wakas may naibigay ka rin. Kapag hindi naibigay ang gusto, sya pa ang may ganang magalit. Ubod ng selfish. Puro "me! me! me! me! me!".

Saksakan ng yabang, pero most of the time wala naman ibubuga (kasi nasanay ng pinagsisilbihan). Kapag napahiya dahil hindi naman pala kayang mapangatawan ang kayabangan, kung umasta parang wala lang nangyari. Mayabang pa rin. Maghahanap pa minsan ng ibang masisisi.

They are way way immature than a kid having tantrums. Galit na galit kapag hindi nasunod ang gusto. Kung ano-anong masasakit na salita ang ibabato sayo. Sweet kapag may hinihingi o pag nakukuha yung gusto. Kapag hindi at in-explain mo kung bakit para kang nakikipag-usap sa 5yr old kid. Walang pakelam kung may masasagaan o may mahihirapan makuha lang ang gusto. Nanakot na, nagyayabang na, sasabihan ka pa ng madamot at "b0bo" o mahinang umintindi.

Spoiled adult are as hard to deal with as it is with a spoiled brat.

I have two questions:
1. Let say, for a 20yr old spoiled adult (and up. May kilala ako 50yo spoiled adult) magulang pa rin ba ang dapat sisisihin kapag umandar na naman ang "kasalbahihan" or "ka-selfish-an"?
2. How do you deal with a spoiled adult?

[Girltalker2]

^ avoid them

[17glut]

yup, wala kang magagawa sa mga yan kundi layuan....or atleast pray that they get into an accident. These kinds of people will never change so stop wasting your time with them.

[glamorosa_09]

May pinanghuhugutan siguro itong tanong na ito ano, and medyo general yung question, so baka we might not be able to answer your real question or issue...

re: questions

Sabi naman nila a significant part of our personality stemmed from our childhood history, talking about the 'nurture' part. So our parents and other authority figures played a major role in molding us - how we see the world, other people, and ourselves.

Though I'm not sure if there is a point in blaming the parents for their shortcomings. Some parents didn't know any better - were they able to attend parenting seminars or read parenting books?

Some parents naman have their own personal and childhood issues that significantly affects their parenting - have they thought of going to healing seminars and psychotherapy or read self-help books? So parang it's all on their ignorance.
Minsan nga may generational pattern na sa isang pamilya o angkan.

Even if the child is adult na and pretty much on their own, pointless ding sisihin sila. Like I attended a healing of past hurts seminar attended by adults, marami sa attendees dun lang na-widen yung self-awareness nila, dun lang nila nalaman what they've been doing wrong for so many years.

How to deal with them?

Depends on how they are related to you, kapitbahay, katrabaho, asawa, kapatid, magulang?

[sugar n spice]

^mukha bang may pinaghuhugutan? hahah hindi naman. Though as I said I know a 50yr old spoiled adult. She's actually my mom's first cousin. My mom and her cousins were having trouble sa pag-aayos ng mga lupa at mga paupahan nila dahil sa kanya. Lagi magkekwento ang mommy ko about their problems. Even if I try to keep my cool, nakakainit din pala ng ulo kahit nakikinig ka lang na may ganung taong nage-exist sa mundo. Sobrang selfish! Ilang beses na silang nautakan and I learned she was a spoiled brat kaya ayan, ganun pa rin sya hanggang ngayon.

I would always tell my mom, "let karma do it's work." Kaso hindi naman hahayaan na lang sya habang niloloko sila.

I guess, pede ring sisihin ang mga nagpalaki sa kanya na sinanay sya ng ganun. Pero, geez, ang tanda na nya. Mahigit 50 anyos na sya at may apo na. Hindi pa rin nya ma-distuinguish ang tama sa mali? O alam nyang mali pero dahil sanay na syang manalbahe, parang wala na lang. And guess what? ang mga anak nila, pinalaki nila mag-asawa sa luho mula sa hindi nila pinaghihirapan. Yes, nag-asawa din sya ng palamunin. Wala sila parehong trabaho, ni wala kaming naririnig na meron silang business man lang na masasabing tinayo nila. Umaasa sa mga paupahan nila magpi-pinsan. Kaya ayun, ang mga anak puro porma, pero walang laman ang utak, hindi lahat nakatapos ng college o highschool man lang. At dahil kelangan nila i-sustain ang lifestyle nila, inuutakan nya ang mga pinsanan nya. Example, yung malaking lupa nila sa tabi ng mall na tinayuan ng tyangge, pinalabas nya ang upa ng P200k lang monthly. Pero nalaman nila na P460k pala. At kumpleto sa kontrata yon. At meron syang "dummy, parang si B---y lang. Isa lang yan. Marami pang kwento. Ang masama pa, sinisiraan nya mommy ko na treasurer nila. Kaya nag-resign ang mommy ko. Kesyo daw naparenovate namin yung matandang bahay, etc etc. Hello! May sarili kaming pera. At dahil walang gustong kumuha ng trabaho ng mommy ko dahil napakahirap, nagprisinta sya. At may idea na siguro kayo kung anong nangyari sa pera nila.

And then just recently, nakabasa ako ng isa na namang selfish brat.

So I decided to create a thread dedicated for them. They got me inspired hahah  So while writing hindi ko maiwasang maalala lahat ng ginagawa nya sa mom ko and her cousins kaya siguro mukha akong may pinaghuhugutan.

[geekgurl]

Kung generational pattern is the term, mukhang eto  na nga nangyari sa family namen.. From my tito, cousins and yes my brother too.. Lahat ng lalake sa father side puro spoiled brat sila, mga pasaway sa family. Puro asa from parents, sa mga kapatid na babae, sila yung tamad, walang work or hindi nagtatagal, puro yabang  at may mga bisyo, nakabuntis, nanggugulpi, lahat na ng maisip mo. Puro mahihina ang loob pag may dumating na pagsubok.

Ang masisis ko lang bakit ganon yung kapatid ko ay dahil sa Dad ko rin, enabler siya. Kahit alam niya na mali, na niloloko siya, kahit ilang beses pang magkamali at lokohin siya. Todo bigay pa rin siya sa mga layaw ng brother ko. Seaman kasi dad namen. Baka yun yung way niya na pagbawi during those times na madalas siyang wala. Dinadaan niya lahat sa pera and material things, which i think is wrong. Kaya hindi nagsusumikap yung kapatid ko to think na he's already 32 yrs old. Buhay senyorito, mapili sa food, ayaw paulit ulit, puro watch ng tv or laptop lang ginagawa niya or gala. Akala ko nga nagbago na siya kasi nainvite ko pa siya sa victory church,nagpabaptized na siya at naging active, pero bumalik pa rin sa dating gawi niya.

Naubos na pasensiya namin ni mom kakaintindi, kakapayo sa kanya. Napagod na kameng umiyak.
Napapabuntong hininga na lang ako, pinagdadasal at pinagpapasa diyos na lang lahat. Panahon na lang makakapagsabi kung saan hahantong buhay niya. Nasa huli naman ang pagsisisi.

[lonelymiss28]

2 sa kapatid ko spoiled brat. Kasama ko yung isa sa bahay ngayon.

[ri-anne]

Unfortunately may mga kilala akong ganyan. And honestly, admittedly, i am one of them. Lol!!!! Spoiled brat ako pagdating sa asawa ko, eversince bf-gf days. You can say i got it from my mom who also used to be spoiled brat din bigay lahat ng papa ko lahat ng gusto sunod lahat basta sabihin ng mom ko, if not, away at gulo...up to a certain point, then things changed.
Anyway, somehwere along the way i realized mali naman at nag-mature na din ako in our relationship.

My point is, these so called "spoiled brats" wont ever change na so don't expect them to change..unless sila mismo on their own will realize na mali yun.

we don't have control over these things, the decisions they make, kahit gano natin kaayaw. What we can only control is our actions & reactions towards those people & situations.

[glamorosa_09]

Hmm, ang pagkakaintindi ko kasi sa spoiled brat, gaya ng sabi mo, sanay na nakukuha ang gusto nang walang kahirap-hirap. At pag di nakuha ang gusto, mag-aastal na parang bata.

Your aunt naman seems like has low to no conscience and morality at all, inferring from your story. I'm not sure if this is also a trait of a spoiled brat/adult - walang konsensya at moralidad. Pwede naman spoiled din, but maybe  there could also be more in their personality.

Spoiled brat/adult is a rather vague term if we'll try to describe people na maitim ang budhi. Meron naman dyan bordering to sociopathic or narcissistic personality. Ayang mga yan wala talagang empathy, they couldn't distinguish right from wrong.

They're too self-absorbed to even notice the pain they're causing to others around them. Sabi naman ng expert, they have the genes that predispose them to be like this, all it takes is an environment that will encourage or build this behavior. But they have the power to change themselves kung gugustuhin nila. It's nature-nurture.

Wala ka nang magagawa sa kanila eh. The only thing you can do is protect yourself or your mom in the best way that you can. Maybe detach yourselves emotionally. Baka your mom is emotionally detached na rin? Kamag-anak nyo kasi sila eh, first cousin ng mom mo, then meron pa kayong business and financial dealings with them, it seems impossible naman to completely avoid or sever your ties with them.

[sugar n spice]

^actually may point ka. She's no longer considered a brat but a person with no conscience. O kung meron man, mas nangingibabaw ang pangangailangan nilang ma-sustain ang lifestyle.

But it all started din syempre sa pagiging spoiled brat nya. Noong daw bata pa kasi, mali na kinukunsinti pa. May mga anak na sya pero sustentado pa ng mga magulang at ng 2 lola ko na walang anak. And so when she grew up, she was so used of getting her way ng walang kahirap-hirap. Kahit mali pinagtatakpan pa ng matatanda. Hindi sanay sa hirap. So nang mawala ang mga taga-spoiled, ito ang naging epekto. It's too bad pa na nakapag-asawa sya ng equally na pasarap-buhay na katulad nya. So  may feeling ang mga mommy ko na yung asawa pa ang nagsusulsol sa kanya. Yung asawa nya, hindi spoiled adult, sadyang maitim lang ang budhi. I guess, meron na syang mga characteristics na pag pinagsama-sama mo, masasabi mo na ngang wala na syang moral at konsensya.

A spoiled brat who grew into a spoiled adult and gone worst.