i need your guidance, sisses!

[stronger_me]

thanks for reading and all the replies.

[isobel]

do that: seek a dswd personnel to intervene since he was already violent with you once. at the very least, humarap kayo sa tanod when you try to resolve your domestic dispute.

[aquacharly]

STRONGER ME, ang best advice para sa yo eh nasa iyo rin, hawak mo.

1st mag decide ka kung ano ba talaga gusto mo.  Madami kang medj magulong issues on which you go back-&-forth eh.

Unahin natin yang affair with the GRO.
Tapos na yan, pero binabalik mo sarili mo sa feelings mo noong panahon ng peste na yan.  Kaya hindi ka maka move on.  You will never forget, for sure.  BUT hindi mo kelangan ma experience uli yung mga sama ng loob mo na pinagdaanan mo noon... kasi parang lousy movie lang yan eh.  Pag nagumpisa yung movie, tayuan mo at hwag mo na panoorin.  Kasi nga, ano pa magawa mo?  history na yan, you cannot rewrite history.
Sabi mo hindi mo ma release sarili mo kasi hindi sya talagang remorseful. Really?  Pano mo natimbang yon? Kasi hindi sya lumuluhod sa asin?  Sa cuento mo, ewan ko kung accurate gets ko.. sabi na nga nya hindi na nga sya lumalabas ng bahay... all bark na lang sya sa FB, pero good boy na sya stuck in the house.   Baka hindi nya na alam kung ano pa gagawin nya para ma convince ka na good boy na sya?
At maya't maya ba eh pinalalayaw mo sya?  Hindi okay yung ganon ha, kahit na ba sya nag betray once upon a time.

Bugbugan blues.  Ate, inaamin mo sinasaktan mo sya.  Baka naman nabugbog ka kasi self defense on his part, or para sapak! matauhan ka at tumigil ka sa pagka violent mo.  Do not get me wrong, kahit na self-defense pa yan hindi pa rin ok na magbuhat kamay sa Mrs ha.  Well, isipin mo na ngayon kung tatakbo ka nga sa barangay tanod kung mag bugbugan blues uli kayo.
Pag usapan nyo na magkakaroon ng bad effects sa mga bata pag naka rining/see/experience sila ng bugbugan blues ha.  So itigil nyo na yan,, the 2 of you.

Financial issue.  May pera sya, kahit na walang trabaho.  Mukhang hindi mo nahahawakan ang pera nya ah.   Tapos, may work ka pero malaki credit card debt mo.  Tapos, sa pag aaway nyo nauungkat nya na hindi ka marunong humawak ng pera, or makasarili ka sa paggastos mo ng kinikita mo?   Kaya ka nasaktan?  Well, that is the reality: until you show financial comptence eh talagang hindi mo mahahawakan ang mga pisong duling ng husband mo.

Mag isip ka ng mabuti kung ano ba talaga gusto mo from him.
You still want his love, or just his financial support?
Walang masama kahit ano sagot mo.  Ang importante eh honest ka to yourself.

Atchaka ha, bago ka tuluyang manipa or manggigil, tignan mo din ang sarili mo ... ano ba ang  mga dinakdak nya sa yo na sagad buto nasaktan ka... na totoo at puede mo namang baguhin?
Kasi,if you do not change, do not expect a change in him too.

So yon advice ko, STRONGER ME:  KNOW THYSELF BETTER
                                                   







     

[fegloria1954]

To effect a change in your spouse, look at yourself and decide on changing yourself - your behaviors, your attitudes, the way you express your feelings.  Pray to Father God and ask for enlightenment and guidance.

Do not let another person's behavior influence how you behave.

Own up to your own bad behaviors. Do not blame it on another person, like your spouse, for instance.  You DO know it was you who decided to behave the way you did, even when you think it is in a sour of a moment = nabigla ka etc etc.

To a amn, it can be very humiliating really to be berated about his shortcomings, especially when he has no job and he is unable to perform what he knows society expects of him - that of being the breadwinner.

To a woman, it is really disappointing to learn that your husband had engaged in infidelity, but then again, you must realise that even if it were not you who he married, he would most probably be doing the same thing too.  It is only he who knows the reason, AND don't even believe for one second at all that it is your fault that he had committed that.  It is highly possible that you already have such a thought and that is why you are so angry and resentful over it.

True, if he is really remorseful, then he should seek forgiveness, and make amends.  But, have you really already given him the chance to be able to do so?  To ask forgiveness?  To make amends?  The process of real forgiveness allows for a process by which the two of you "negotiate" what each of you are to do, to make amends, to make things better.  It is not only him who must do something.  You too must do something too.  Now ask yourself THAT.  The ball is in your court.  For as long as you don't pick up that ball, and play, then you will indeed continue to be miserable.

Mommy Fe

[stronger_me]

salamat po sa mga reply.

aquacharly and mommy fe:  I will keep everything in mind. Thank you uli