I want to leave the house for good

[sugar n spice]

I don't want self-important people to interfere and meddle with my life decisions. Para sa akin, being in the house caused me more bad than good.

Sis, please make yourself  clear. Were you talkin' about your parents? What made you say they are self-important people? Ano bang ginawa nila? Hindi ba nila iniisip yung kapakanan mo for them to be self-important?

Kindly correct me if I'm wrong, are you moving out of the house dahil ayaw nilang pagbigyan yung gusto mo? Materyal na bagay ba yung hinihingi mo na hindi nila maibigay? Kotse ba for example? Sariling business?

Actually, I 'm confused. Were you asking for advice or were you just venting out?

[jan888]

^^ agree!

[Lurker_Man]

i still go with the guidance of parents. but if you really want to be independent go ahead...just be aware of the possible pros and cons of self decision making when it comes to difficult matters. Parents knows best.

[huggykaye]

Go ahead sis TS, live on your own, be independent! who doesn't like that? (me, hanggat may makakasama ako ayoko manirahan magisa)..

to be on your own and do all the things you want lalo na kung financially able ka naman diba, kaya mo alagaan ang sarili mo, magplantsa, maglaba ng mga damit mo o ipalaundry mo forever, magluto, kain ka magisa sa bahay mo o eat out most of the time, maglinis ng banyo, ayusin ang sariling basura, hindi ka na maiinis sa mga kasama mo sa bahay, pay your bills on time (buti na lang pwede na online diba) at kung [textspeak!]-ano pa.. go ahead, without a doubt dapat naghahanap ka na ng titirhan mo... goodluck and enjoy

if in any case you failed, would you come home running to your parents?

[hisana]

I left home to live on my own when I was in my early 20s, too. Medyo mabigat yung reason why I had to leave; I felt it was my best choice at the time. My mom and I parted on bad terms, so bukod sa hindi na kami nag-uusap, hindi ko na rin masyado nakausap yung mga kapatid ko because my mom manipulated them into not interacting with me na rin until I did what she wanted me to do. So, I had absolutely no contact with my family after that. I miss my sister the most.

Anyway, enough about my tragic past, LOL. Buti na lang I had some money saved and good friends who helped me adjust into my new life. I'm happier now, and I'm doing okay. My life is (sort of) back on track. Ikaw lang naman talaga makakapagsabi if the reason you're leaving is, well, reason enough. If you think this will set you free, then great! I made the same decision, and I have no regrets. If you have a good plan and a lot of determination and discipline, then I expect you'll also do well on your own.

Good luck.

[molybdenumstudios]

Thanks sissies huggykaye and hisana.

[sugar n spice]

i still go with the guidance of parents. but if you really want to be independent go ahead...just be aware of the possible pros and cons of self decision making when it comes to difficult matters. Parents knows best.

Lurker man, my guess is TS's parents are just self-important people who interfere and meddle with her life decisions. Being in their house caused her more bad than good.

Kanya-kanyang sitwasyon yan e. Kanya-kanya ring pag-uugali.

[Priceless]

I think the advice given here are from well meaning people who have had their own experiences in life din. So TS, don't disregard them, just because they don't seem to agree with your plans.

Yung pag move out is a good learning experience. But move out for the right reasons, like you want to learn, and experience life and making decisions on your own, hindi yung dahil feeling mo pinapakialaman ka ng mga magulang mo. Most parents naman, nakikialam because they care about you, and kahit sino naman siguro (kahit ikaw kung may sarili ka nang bahay at pamilya) - your house, your rules. Don't bite the hands that feed you - if you are still very much dependent on them for everything, including the clean clothes you wear everyday, then make sure na kaya mong i-let go ang lahat ng comforts that you are enjoying now courtesy of your parents.

If you're planning to move out kasi at the back of your mind feeling mo andyan naman ang mga magulang mo to forgive you and welcome you back just in case things don't work out well, siguro you need to rethink your plans muna.

Hindi lahat ng tao pinapalad na magkaroon ng established career and income at the age of 22. There are bills to pay, chores to complete, errands to run, work to do as part of day to day life, na siguro ngayon hindi mo lahat iniintindi dahil nakatira ka sa parents mo. Kung kaya ng sweldo mo for you to look after yourself without having to look back, put your hand forward to ask for help just in case of problems, then go live on your own! It's hard but the lessons that you will learn are very valuable!

[ri-anne]

Maybe the TS wrote this sa kabugsuan ng kanyang damdamin. Once everything has calmed down, isip isip... Dami magagandang advice dito.
Pero just so you'll have an idea realistically, put figures and do some computations.

Rent - Php15,000 (rough estimate)/ month
and i think if you'll lease, owner asks for 1-2 month deposit (?)
Electricity + water bill - Php5,000 (est.)
Phone bill, internet - ??
Food/ Grocery - Php5,000 (depends gano ka kalakas kumain)
Transpo - Php2,000 (?) commute or if car siempre mas malaki
Miscellaneous (kain sa labas, shopping, etc) - Php3,000 (this could go higher pa depende sa lifestyle mo)

This is a conservative figure pa nga. so if you want to move out, you should be ready to shell out at least Php30,000 per month.
Such a small price to pay kung kapalit naman is your freedom, right?

 Good luck ts!

[120515]

i won't tell you whether you should or should not leave your home but let me share my experience.
i moved out of my parent's home (and our province) when i was 21, with my parents' blessings and a 10k allowance to get me through my first month or two without a job. my mother wanted me to take a break and rest since right after graduation, i reviewed for my board exams, took them and passed. but i explained to her that i have very limited opportunities in our city and that i will have a greater chance of getting a good career in makati.
so i set sail together with 8 other friends, and we shared a 2-bedroom condo in the fringes of makati's cbd. it was difficult. we didn't have any furniture, not even beds. in the first few days, we didn't even have any plates or cutlery. our days were spent going around the city submitting resumes and attending interviews. good thing we all got job offers in the first week or two of looking. whenever we got together and looked back at our first few weeks in the big city, we would laugh.
i learned what it was like to be dirt poor so i learned to manage my money and prioritize. i learned to wash and iron my clothes, clean after myself, and get along with 8 other people living with me under the same roof. i developed a greater appreciation for all my parents have provided for me and my relationship with them became stronger. i also resolved to be a good example to my younger brothers and became a better sister to them - we became closer now that we're older, we used to fight a lot growing up.
i learned that maturity doesn't come with age but with experience.

[ikaela]

^That is amazing of your parents to trust you like that. They must've really trusted you and seen that you have the right skills, mindset, and values to go live on your own. And they even gave you start-up money! That's a great story, sis.

[120515]

^That is amazing of your parents to trust you like that. They must've really trusted you and seen that you have the right skills, mindset, and values to go live on your own. And they even gave you start-up money! That's a great story, sis.

thanks, ikaela! 

i really treasure that first year of truly living by myself and fending for myself because i learned so much about my strengths and my weaknesses and what i can overcome. i have so many stories i can tell my grandchildren from that year! hahaha!

[BDJ]

so envy of you that you can do that especially you have all means to do your own venture. Unlike in my case hindi ako ganun ka financially independent. even we have our family hindi pa rin kami maka independent ng ganun lang. Mahirap pa. Buti nga ikaw 22 pa lang you can do that eh ako 30 plus na.

[graZiousa]

My mom past away for like ten years now. I miss her so much. Damit napakaoutgoing ko sis, gimik at late na umuuwi at nung hindi na nakakauwi nagrent na ako. When she past away i have realized big time that dami kong sinayang na time na pwede kong gawin para magkasama kami pero hindi ko ginawa. Im just saying sis is.. pahalagahan ang magulang..Life is so short, hindi natin alam what will happen bukas hindi natin hawak ang oras natin..

[lovemeagain30]

Before you leave your parents house are you aware you have to pay for "2 months" advance to rent your own apartment? Yan ang kalakaran ngayon. Its not like you live now then pay later.

Aware karin ba name it's an empty house you are going to rent? so that means you have to purchase furnitures and other utilities unless gusto more sa sahig matulog at kumain sa restaurant araw araw.

Do you see the big picture? Do you have enough savings for this?

Kung ang option is makitira muna sa kaibigan or bakada..believe me you will have to shell out money! Madalas sila pa mas mahirap pakisamahan pagdating ng problem. Hindi ka nila kaano ano para intindihin ugali mo. You will have to do pakikisama and share bathroom with them everyday.

If the other option is to live in with boyfriend.. This I tell you at your age now will be the worst and stupid decision you will make in your entire life. Goodbye freedom for you.

What I'm trying to point is if you want to move out make sure you have MONEY. Your career path for now will NOT sustain you yet. To order to live independently you need Regular income! Monthly income ah because living independently will mean there are bills to pay regularly like water and electricity at kung ano pa. Hindi makakapaghintay ang mga yan unless plano mo magloan at mabaon sa utang for the next 5-10 years of your life.


Living alone means you have to grow up right away! It's a jungle out there! Kung naiinis ka lang sa parents mo kasi tinitipid ka, grow up dear. Save up first.  Find regular job. Be humble to your parents Then you can move out.

[molybdenumstudios]

Napadaan lang.

So to speak, I still have to think it over. I realized that moving out is not yet for me--in fact, marami pa akong dapat matutunan.

I have to admit--I was under peer pressure and social pressure to move out. I wanted the freedom. I never wanted help--but on the inside, I was hesitant. I didn't like my parents to be hurt but I was thinking all along na if I live with them, I will live under their rules, to think na I have the freedom to make decisions by myself. Yes, I do make stupid decisions, but sorry, I still feel that I still have to be dependent on them.

Sa mga nagbigay ng advice sa akin, salamat. Pero sa mga nagco-condemn sa akin at medyo offensive pa sa akin ang mga comments and advice, salamat na rin--but at the end of the day, I can never please anyone. Lahat ng mga pino-post ko, may hugot 'yan.

[ohcmon]

^ No one was condemning you. You created this thread for advice and our sisters gladly gave you some. Granted these are not positive -- what did you expect them to say, suportahan ka sa moving out keme at pagrerebelde mo? You subjected yourself to others' opinions the moment you told the whole forum your story.

I'm sorry, but if that is the kind of thinking that you have, no wonder you're not in good terms with your parents.

[lovemeagain30]

I was 19 years old when I thought I had my world under my feet. Napakayabang Ko maglayas nuon sa bahay without Any Savings to backup! Wala ako stable job eh, ni hindi pa naka graduate ng college tapos naghahamon pako to live on my own.. To live away from people who I thought controlling my life. I should live the life like in western countries where I could have my own freedom at that age! Naaahhh.


I'm more than 30 now. I tell you being adult is NOT easy. There are bills to pay regularly.Decisions you have to think over hundred times. Responsibilities are pilling up as you grow older. All of this have to be on your shoulders and many times I could wish I can still go back being young and my parents could make decisions for me. When you start budgeting the 'remaining money'  you have in your pocket, you'll surely miss your parents!

By the way I would like to emphasize "be humble" to your parents all the time. Kadalasan ang mga anak na mayayabang sa magulang sila pa yung mga walang kayang patunayan! Ni walang puhunan or savings buhayin ang sarili.  You know for yourself na dependent ka sakanila right?tapos ayaw mong sumunod sa sakanila. amazing!!

You wannabe be treated as a adult? Tapusin mo pag aaral mo dear and while you're doing that maghanap ka narin ng stable job ngayon palang . Mag ipon ka rin while you share house hold Expenses. Abah gusto mo tratuhin adult ka sa bahay share financial responsibilities! Wag ka na hihingi pang allowance at school tuition fees mo sa mga magulang mo . Abah 22 ka na di ba? Ikaw na magbayad ng pang aral mo! Pati narin panggastos mo sa sarili mo.

Pag ginawa mo lahat yan your parents will be proud of you. Pero hanggat humihingi ka kahit Piso sakanila huwag kang magmalaki ngayon palang sa mga taong nagpapakain at nagpapakain aral sayo. wala kang maabot sa buhay sa ganyan prinsipyo. Grow up.