F Teacher - M Student Relationship

[megumiii]

I'm single and in my late 20s. I should probably let it out in the open that I'm a teacher at a language school while "A" used to be one of my students and is 2 years younger than me.

I accidentally encountered "A" and another male student "B" at a convenience store near my workplace. We ended up spending the duration of the afternoon chatting about random things and I also gave some advice to "A" who intends to pursue a post-grad degree. I was sitting beside "A" while "B" was on the other side of the table. The space was a bit cramped and when we were exchanging friendly banter, I had a lot of unexpected physical contact with "A".

After a few hours, we bid our goodbyes. I went back to the school to confirm something with the guard and they both left together. "A" still needed to go somewhere. He told us he'd be meeting some friends and he would be out clubbing until late in the morning. On my way home, I encountered them again so we ended up walking together, with me walking with "A" and my other student walking ahead of us. "A" was doing most of the chatting.

When we reached the point where we had to separate, he thanked me for my time ("B" was still walking ahead alone). He bid me goodbye and pulled me close to him and held my arms. I was initially surprised because I never expected that he'd be that physical towards me. I thought he just wanted to give me a hug but when I was about to hug him back, he suddenly planted a kiss on my cheek. Mind you, we were out on the sidewalk and there were a lot of people. Plus "B" was just a few meters walking ahead of us. I was really stunned and I might have been blushing to death. I just uttered a weak goodbye as he left without looking back.

My mind was reeling all throughout the night and I couldn't concentrate cause I kept thinking about that kiss. What's surprising is that my other student "B" sent me a message that night telling me that A PMed him about me while we was still out partying. Since "B" and I were close friends, I asked for screenshots and "B" happily sent the whole exchange to me.

Their conversation went something like this:
A: Did you see me and ~~~ a while ago?
B: No. I was walking ahead of you guys.
A: I kissed ~~~. Ahahahaha
B: OMG
A: Joke. Hahahaha
B: ****** You must be really wasted right now. Hahahaha
B: A, what really happened?
A: Nothing. I just bid her goodbye then immediately swooped in for a kiss on her cheek. I was surprised myself that I did that.
B: Why did you do that? You're lucky she didn't slap you or something.
A: I don't know why I did that. My instincts just kicked in. She laughed then that's it. Then I realized it must've been a bit awkward.
B: Hahahaha *****
A: Did you notice her expression afterwards? Was her reaction a negative one?
B: I didn't see her reaction. I was walking ahead and I didn't turn around.
A: I bid you goodbye afterwards. Then you two walked home together.
B: No, I was too focused on something else to notice anything.
A: I wasn't able to check on her reaction. She laughed as I headed the other direction. Then I realized, "OMG". I was like a character from an anime who, after getting to kiss this beautiful princess, had a massive nosebleed.
B: You're screwed. Hahahaha! Maybe it meant nothing to her. You're just overthinking.
A: It felt really good with a tinge of guilt-like aftertaste. Hahahaha! You're right. I'm just an over-thinker.
B: Yeah, bro. Don't think about it too much. Just don't do it again cause the reaction might be different next time.
A: Well, it's because you kept on asking me that I pondered over it. Yeah, you're right. I'll kiss the other cheek next time. Hahahaha! Joke
B: Are you really sure, bro? I still can't believe what you did.
A: It just crossed my mind cause we'll be seeing her again soon.
B: Maybe you were just daydreaming and it didn't really happen?
A: Enough of this. Hahahaha! This is the result of me being bothered by my post-grad application. My body is making me do all sorts of questionable things as a form of coping mechanism.
B: Do you want me to ask her for her reaction?
A: Don't! Hahahaha! I don't want it to become an issue.
B: I just remembered. She looked disoriented and reddish when we started walking together.
A: Are you serious? Hahahaha

Now, I need advice cause I've been bothered by this ever since.
1. Did that kiss mean anything? If yes, what?
2. Should I ask him about that directly?
3. How should I act around him the next time we see each other (the 3 of us made plans to meet next week).

And lastly, I have to come clean. I'm actually deeply attracted to "A". It started after our class officially ended so technically, I'm no longer his teacher and he's no longer my student.

3. Would it be a bad idea to be involved with him?

[kaythrielle]

Were you already attracted to A even when he was still your student?

Technically, you are not his teacher anymore so it doesnt matter if you get involved with him.

Ang hindi ko lang nagustuhan was the fact that he thinks he can easily hug and kiss you just like that, and thinks he can get away with it. But, thats just me. (Or is that how dating happens na ba nowadays?)

If it was me, i would cancel next week and move it the following week or even 2 weeks after. 1, para hindi na mainit ang issue; 2, para may time sya mag-isip at magworry if the reason you cancelled was because he kissed you.
And less communication during that time. During those times na hindi kayo magkikita he should reach out to you. And explain himself to you.

I think he is the one who should tell you why he did those things without waiting to be prompted or asked by you. Please don?t let it happen again (kiss) unless may sure line (sorry ha conservative ako hehe). If not, mabilis din lang matatapos yan. Unless a fling and one night stand is just what you want. If you want something deeper, dont make it too easy for him.

[amethyst028]

@TS don't read too much into it. Let it be na lang for now. Teacher ka kasi niya kaya baka na awkward siya dun sa kiss. Tsaka sa cheek lang naman. Nagkaka ganyan ka kasi type mo you are giving meaning to even the smallest things pero pag hindi mo siya type baka ni hindi mo napansin yung kiss.

For me hayaan mo na lang. kung later on ma develop into more kayo e di good for you, i guess that's what you wanted. Kung hindi naman e ganun talaga. You win some you lose some. That's life.

[megumiii]

Were you already attracted to A even when he was still your student?

No. I even disliked him as a student cause he wasn't an ideal student to start with. Always coming to class late, not actively participating during activities and I would often catch him dozing off. My feelings just started to develop when he placed his arm around me during the last day of classes when he wanted to have our picture taken together. It made my legs go jelly.  I get soft when it comes to physical contact.

@TS don't read too much into it. Let it be na lang for now. Teacher ka kasi niya kaya baka na awkward siya dun sa kiss. Tsaka sa cheek lang naman. Nagkaka ganyan ka kasi type mo you are giving meaning to even the smallest things pero pag hindi mo siya type baka ni hindi mo napansin yung kiss.

I know. I feel like I'm so affected by it cause I like him (back). But I'm pretty sure that if I'm not attracted to that guy, I would slap him and break all ties with him.

[rics]

I don't think there is something wrong with it - he is not your student anymore.
Actually know of someone who had a relationship with one of her student after the guy graduated and still another one who had a relationship with a student while still in school.

[simang]

I worked in the academe for several years and very common ito, lalo na sa department namin na medyo close yung age ng faculty and students. Most of them go public after the student has graduated and di naman na issue pag ganun, but it's obvious sometimes na they started nung nag aaral pa si student. Some of them got married din eventually like normal couples.

Technically di mo naman na sya student so if you feel that you like him tingin ko okay lang. Your issue really is kung anong intentions nya and why did he kissed you, not really the student-teacher thing. Suggestion ko is to distance yourself first, masyado ka pang kinikilig to make decisions right now, distance ka muna and if he pursues you still then maybe he really likes you. Then there's your answer

[Girltalker2]

Agree, don?t overthink. He will pursue you if the interest is real.

It happens, look at the love story of the French president. Sya nga layo talaga ng agwat and still they married.

https://nypost.com/2018/01/20/how-emmanuel-macron-wooed-his-former-high-school-teacher/

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