Yan din asa isip Ko: Once a cheater, always a cheater. But I know it's unfair to lump all cheaters together; some need only to commit 1 Betrayal to reform.
But this I am sure of: kahit anong threats, pakiusap &/or logical reasoning itapon mo sa face nya: hangga't hindi pa sawa ang guy, for whatever his Real Reason is for cheating in the first place, hindi yan
titigil.
Forgive? Sure, why not. As others said: a beloved deserves at least 1 More Chance. Most are luckier: they get a series of Forgiveness. A few are doomed/blessed (depends how you look at a man with no integrity): they have a perpetual pass to eff around like a dog.
What about you, MAI JUNG LEE?
Time to Play your cards well.
Stop nagging & making yourself sick over The Past. Nobody has the power to change The Past.
You seem to be watching a lousy movie over and over again; just learn The Lesson & move on.
He married you, and not the other girls he chatted up. What's The Lesson there? He sees in you The Best Life he can have. Your common religion & whatever else you 2 share and can share: that is what he wants to have in his future. The girls are distractions that tempt, sure. But overtime, if you play your cards well -- he CAN overcome his need/weakness for these. He will learn to turn away from temptations.
See, men who cheat -- they are not necessarily flawed or bad. We are all imperfect people trying to move towards Perfection. Most men have lapses of better judgement that hurt us women. (We women have lapses of better judgment in other ways -- it's just because we are different, though of the same species. Yeah, I know -- what they can do, we can do better. But honestly, even when betrayed -- most of us will not fck around just to tit-for-tat.).
So, play your cards right now. Give it your Best All to clarify his thinking. He already said: You are not doing your wife duties. Start there -- find out what his expectations are. He is trying hard to do his husband duties, providing for you very well materially. The rest of his husband package is just kinda late being delivered. You have to constructively help him, to convince him that whatever he is into now is creating imbalance in your relationship that is not good for the long run.
Am I saying you should suck it up kasi Donya ka? Nope. Just play your cards well.
See, this is your husband's 1st time to be a husband.
Sino ba naging blueprint nya? Baka defective the blueprints?
Or kasi nga "Birds of the same feather fck together" --- defective friends/attitudes.
The point is, you have a good fighting chance of making him realize (before a real disaster happens) that his blueprints and/or friendships are not good enough..... That there are better behavior/husband blueprints out there. You say you are both well grounded in your religion, fine, start there.
Start to get your relationship back on track. Refocus your energy and time into returning to the person he loved and chose over the others to marry. If his character is weak/immature now, pwes, share your strength with him. Do not nag, but instead reinforce his traits that made you marry him. Hopefully, he will respond constructively to the appreciation.
Attend to your joint priorities with competence. Is it finishing up the house now?
He likes flirty? Resurrect that girl he couldn't not marry before.
Forget your tally of his transgressions. Do not dwell on The Past that wounds you. Let it heal.
Get him to be more God-oriented. You say you met in your church, you share a common religion -- use that strong asset to make him want to better his character.
Then, design your lives so you spend more time with him.
When you are together, physically or on the net -- Best Foot Forward, light and positive ka always.
Do it all, give it your Best All.
If you still get a husband who breaks your heart later on, you will have no regrets about doing your best. Actually, you will be stronger and have a very clear mind about how much more you can pray, suffer , and wait. Or, not suffer more nor wait any longer.
While you are busy giving it your Best All, do not forget to take care of yourself. Both are not mutually exclusive, but rather, reinforcing each other.
Every day, advance your physical, mental & emotional AND financial well-being.
Good luck.
