BEST/FRIEND-ZONE

[estemariel]

How do you get out of it? or what to do kung nandun ka sa zone na yun?

Hope you can share some advices or if you've experienced it, share your story

[iceheaven31]

hi sis. i was in the friendzone.

back in high school i had this ultimate crush on a guy. classmate ko siya. dumating sa point na pinagtabi kami ng class adviser namin, so ang saya ko naman. naging close kami hanggang sa i fell for him by the end of the school year.

during the school year nagkabalikan sila nung exgf niya. todo selos ako nun kasi pag andun sila sa classroom namin magkatabi pa sila at nakaupo pa yung babae sa armchair ko. todo martyr rin ang epek ko nun kasi ako pa ang gumawa ng gift ni guy para kay girl nung monthsary nila.

anyway, fast forward through college, nagbreak sila nung gf niya after three months.. we formed a band together with some other former classmates.. nagkikita parin kami kasi naging best friend ko na rin siya. di ko alam basta ang dami naming pinagsamahan kahit magkaibang school na kami (well, one jeep ang pagitan, he went to ust, i went to letran).

inamin ko naman sa kanya na mahal ko siya, and sinabi ko rin ata na siya ang dream guy ko. kaso, well, i guess he really did not see me as a gf material, more like a brother or sister material lang. it took me quite a year of two to let him go. i had other adventures, i had other guys who came my way rin pero well, we still kept each other around and updated of what has been happening with our lives. hanggang ngayon naman close pa rin kami, and siya pa rin ang isa sa mga pinakamahalagang kaibigan na meron ako. pero masaya ako na kahit hindi naging kami, at least ngayon we still have each other. sinasabihan niya ko ng i love you and i miss you in a fraternal way. ok na ko dun.

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oh well, i met another guy almost 6 years ago, and we're now together for almost 4 years and ikakasal na kami next year. he's also kinda suplado. naging close kami kahit nung may kanya-kanyang relationships pa kami. hanggang sa nung nagbreak sila ng gf niya, andun ako sa background, hanggang sa nagkagustuhan kami, nagkaligawan, nagkalandian, and ito, four years after, engaged na kami.

==========

how to get out of the friendzone, tingin ko, una kailangan tantyahin mo muna kung magugustuhan ka.
be yourself. and kung tingin mo nasa radar ka niya, then make subtle hints that you like him, and if he responds positively, unti-untiin. pag parang nega ang reaction, then just keep it to yourself na lang.

personally, if you think he's a kind of mature guy, you can and you should tell him how you feel, provided with the right timing of course. my best guy friend in the first story is like that. he's very mature mag-isip and i know na kahit magsabi ako ng ganun sa kanya nothing will change between us, kahit talagang nasa friendzone lang ako. pero be prepared rin sa kung ano sasabihin niya. kung di talaga pwede or di ka niya gusto, then be there as a friend. masakit man kasi wala ka sa radar, pero malay mo one day, you'll keep each other longer than any of his girls.

[estemariel]

how to get out of the friendzone, tingin ko, una kailangan tantyahin mo muna kung magugustuhan ka.
be yourself. and kung tingin mo nasa radar ka niya, then make subtle hints that you like him, and if he responds positively, unti-untiin. pag parang nega ang reaction, then just keep it to yourself na lang.

Thanks for sharing sis!    Parehas tayo sa first story mo sis. Bestfriend ko din.


A year ago, he confessed na there was a time na minahal niya ko. Kaso ayun nga, 'minahal'. Past tense. And he also told me na matagal na siyang nagdecide na hindi niya ako liligawan. Mas pinili daw niya kasing maging bestfriend ko kesa mawala ako sa buhay nya.


I was, and still hoping na mag-change sya ng mind or else, I will confess nalang para once and for all, malaman ko na kung may chance    Although talagang nagaalangan ako kasi baka hindi na maibalik yung dati niyang feelings 

[bellaella]

Hay that's soooo difficult But I guess you can start by not acting like a friend all the time? Difficult to explain pero like for example you can say no to him sometimes when he invites you out. Then go out with other people din sometimes just to let him know that he is not the center of your world and that you also have your own life. Then try some mild flirting?   Flirting always helps hehe. Then also try to put more attention to your appearance. Mag make up minsan or wear a nice dress just to get his attention

[iceheaven31]

sis estemariel:
at least minahal ka. which means ang beauty mo nasa radar niya. pero yun nga, tantyahin nalang muna.

sis blisstacy:
1) yup.
2) flirted a bit, waited for him to fall for me first, and then it worked out.


naalala ko pa, si first best friend, lagi ako binubully nyan. yung tipong nagiging subject ng jokes ng barkada. pero di nalang ako pumapatol or hinahabaan ko nalang pasensya ko para di mapikon. hobby talaga nya ang magjoke e. hehe.

[blisstacy]

sis estemariel:
at least minahal ka. which means ang beauty mo nasa radar niya. pero yun nga, tantyahin nalang muna.

sis blisstacy:
1) yup.
2) flirted a bit, waited for him to fall for me first, and then it worked out.


naalala ko pa, si first best friend, lagi ako binubully nyan. yung tipong nagiging subject ng jokes ng barkada. pero di nalang ako pumapatol or hinahabaan ko nalang pasensya ko para di mapikon. hobby talaga nya ang magjoke e. hehe.

Golden rule talaga not to confess 

[sexykhuletzky]

Andito na yata ako sa stage na to or getting there? Ewan, di ko sure. I'm in pain right now as my closest guy friend is kinda avoiding me. Mapi-feel mo naman yun di ba? Iba na ang lahat. I don't know what's up with him. So, I asked him. Ang sabi nya lang, nasa isip ko lang yun. Er, awkward na ang lahat between us.

I'm inlove with him pero I've set aside my feelings as I don't want to ruin our friendship tapos biglang ganito, nagbago sya. Naisip ko to confess na what I'm feeling since parang sira na rin our friendship plus di ako matatahimik na i-keep na lang to tapos di ko rin naman sya na-keep as my friend. I really don't know what to do. Ang hirap mainlove sa kagaya nyang tao. Urgh.

[akthung]

i think one of the simplest ways to get out of the FZ is to keep reinventing yourself; avoiding what will make him/her see you as a friend.

maaaring consistency will work for some but i don't think it will work for all scenarios.

[karmark16]

me and my h2b were best friends, actually hanggang ngayon ganun din naman kami. it is definitely a risk being honest with your feelings.

I've been rejected before by my ex-infatuation and it was super sakit, pero i didn't regret because it set me free.

eventually natanggap ko na hindi talaga ang para sa akin siguro after 2 months tsaka ko nakilala si h2b, naging close friends kami tapos 10 days before ako magabroad,kusa na lang lumabas ang feelings namin for each other, so naging kami and now almost 7 years after kami pa din.

naisip ko [textspeak!] kung hindi ko pinagdaanan ang unang rejection, di dadating sa akin ang aking h2b. God is sooo good talaga, 

[iamNehj]

Hi mga sis!

Just sharing, this past few weeks eh binabagabag ako ng thoughts na to.. hehe..

Ako kase yung nang-friendzone..  Bale, ganto yun...

Since college we were friends, actually "Babe" tawagan namen na hindi ko na matandaan ang dahilan, basta nakasanayan na namin. And up until nagwork na kami, we still manage na maging close kasama ng tropa. I can say na he's my guy bestfriend. Only guy bestfriend. As in we're very open sa isa't isa, kahit sa mga sexcapades nya, yung mga kaibigan nyang guy hindi sya nagkkwento pero saken comfortable sya, ako din naman ganun. Wala kami ilangan, natural kame sa isa't isa.

And then when I broke up sa BF ko nun, sya lagi ko kausap since magkatapat lang building ng office namin. Walang intensyon na kahit ano, pero naging mas close kami. Then he confess na he was falling for me, and he loves me. SYempre ako wala naman saken yun eh, tropa tropa kami. Sabi nya gusto nya ko ligawan, para sakin naman, ok sige let's give it a try since we're ok naman.

Then, may nanligaw din saken na ka team ko sa office. And to cut the story, yung ka-team ko ang sinagot ko. Bilang dun ako talaga tinamaan, at nainlove. And then, last Sept 2012, we broke up. And si guy bestfriend was there for me, with the same feelings after a year. So we get together again, ginawa nya lahat para pasayahin ako, and dun ko sya naappreciate. And naging kami on Dec 2012.

But Jan 2013, I broke up with him. I became confused with myself and my feelings. Ok kame, sobrang ok, hindi kame nagaaway, magkasundo kame. Pero dumating ako sa point na, bumalik na lan yung pakiramdam ko sa pagiging tropa namen, wala na kong nakikitang spark, hindi na ko naeexcite or kinikilig. I know this shows a "rebound" kaya sige ganun na nga, kahit na hindi ko naman sya sinagot para lang panakip butas. Masyado lang siguro matibay yung friendship bond namen na hindi ko na naramdaman na lovers pala kame.

And up until now, I decided to stay away from having BF na muna, pero ngayon tagal na din namen hindi naguusap at nagkikita ni guy bestfriend, and somehow I realized I missed him. Lalo na nakikita ko na may mga kausap na sya sa twitter na girls, and lumalabas na sya with others. Parang I want to get his attention back to me, pero pag inaassess ko yun sarili ko, hindi ko pa rin masure na mahal ko sya. But I never said before kahit nung break up namen na hindi ko na sya mahal.

I know he's special to me, I think I love him, siguro hindi pa lang ako ready? Medyo naging wasted kase ako after the break up ko sa BF kong kateam ko, at of course sa break up namen, kase kaibigan ko yun sinaktan ko. Kitang kita ko pa naman na mahal na mahal nya ko, at alam ko hanggang ngayon ako pa rin.

Sisses, am I so evil? kung lalapitan ko ulit sya? kahit na hindi pa ko sure na kaya ko na sya panindigan? Bakit ako nagkakaganito ngayon sa kanya? please enlighten me.....

[bladewithaheart]

Basta pag ako nagmahal, automatic FRIENDZONE na yun. Meron di PO-zone and ILANG-zone. xD

[young_maiden]

I am in this situation right now. Hirap umalis sa friend zone.

[akthung]

Hi mga sis!

Just sharing, this past few weeks eh binabagabag ako ng thoughts na to.. hehe..

Ako kase yung nang-friendzone..  Bale, ganto yun...

Since college we were friends, actually "Babe" tawagan namen na hindi ko na matandaan ang dahilan, basta nakasanayan na namin. And up until nagwork na kami, we still manage na maging close kasama ng tropa. I can say na he's my guy bestfriend. Only guy bestfriend. As in we're very open sa isa't isa, kahit sa mga sexcapades nya, yung mga kaibigan nyang guy hindi sya nagkkwento pero saken comfortable sya, ako din naman ganun. Wala kami ilangan, natural kame sa isa't isa.

And then when I broke up sa BF ko nun, sya lagi ko kausap since magkatapat lang building ng office namin. Walang intensyon na kahit ano, pero naging mas close kami. Then he confess na he was falling for me, and he loves me. SYempre ako wala naman saken yun eh, tropa tropa kami. Sabi nya gusto nya ko ligawan, para sakin naman, ok sige let's give it a try since we're ok naman.

Then, may nanligaw din saken na ka team ko sa office. And to cut the story, yung ka-team ko ang sinagot ko. Bilang dun ako talaga tinamaan, at nainlove. And then, last Sept 2012, we broke up. And si guy bestfriend was there for me, with the same feelings after a year. So we get together again, ginawa nya lahat para pasayahin ako, and dun ko sya naappreciate. And naging kami on Dec 2012.

But Jan 2013, I broke up with him. I became confused with myself and my feelings. Ok kame, sobrang ok, hindi kame nagaaway, magkasundo kame. Pero dumating ako sa point na, bumalik na lan yung pakiramdam ko sa pagiging tropa namen, wala na kong nakikitang spark, hindi na ko naeexcite or kinikilig. I know this shows a "rebound" kaya sige ganun na nga, kahit na hindi ko naman sya sinagot para lang panakip butas. Masyado lang siguro matibay yung friendship bond namen na hindi ko na naramdaman na lovers pala kame.

And up until now, I decided to stay away from having BF na muna, pero ngayon tagal na din namen hindi naguusap at nagkikita ni guy bestfriend, and somehow I realized I missed him. Lalo na nakikita ko na may mga kausap na sya sa twitter na girls, and lumalabas na sya with others. Parang I want to get his attention back to me, pero pag inaassess ko yun sarili ko, hindi ko pa rin masure na mahal ko sya. But I never said before kahit nung break up namen na hindi ko na sya mahal.

I know he's special to me, I think I love him, siguro hindi pa lang ako ready? Medyo naging wasted kase ako after the break up ko sa BF kong kateam ko, at of course sa break up namen, kase kaibigan ko yun sinaktan ko. Kitang kita ko pa naman na mahal na mahal nya ko, at alam ko hanggang ngayon ako pa rin.

Sisses, am I so evil? kung lalapitan ko ulit sya? kahit na hindi pa ko sure na kaya ko na sya panindigan? Bakit ako nagkakaganito ngayon sa kanya? please enlighten me.....

the game of love...

you know many dating gurus tell men, if the girl cant appreciate you for who you are the first time...she can do it again

second, it can also mean that the reason shes going back is because she cant find someone better... Thus why go back... she doesnt want you, just the benefits that come with you. Men deserve better.

Reading between the lines, such teachers teach such techniques to even out he playing field, and make it fair for both sides...

on the other hand, many old couples say, that the foundation to a strong partner is friendship. Sex is the extra spice, and at an advanced old age may not even be a factor, specially when health problems are present.  You could have worked it out with him.

as a guy i would more than likely move on, because my sincerity, patience and sacrifice wasnt appreciated.  But at least you gave it a year, icredit you for that. Many "best friends" dont get to have that chance and end up it bitterness after many years or decades as friends

But for the sake of being open,  if this happened to me, id like the girl to come clean, lay it all out on the table, then i'll ponder on it, and decide after some time...

[DeathToMondays]

There is no such thing as friendzone.

The term was only made up by embittered people who enter or stay in a friendship, expecting it to turn into something more. Once their expectations were unmet, they couldn't quite get over the fact that the other party doesn't see them in a romantic light.

So, they created this friendzone label to categorize themselves and broadcast to the world that they were romantically / sexually rejected for expecting too much. In other words, "Hey everyone! BUSTED AKO AND I CAN'T MOVE ON!"

Rejection happens to everyone. Please do yourselves a favor and stop living by a label that's unflattering and disrespectful to yourself.

[junetwentythree]

^^^ YES YES YES, 50x YES!

Stop watching stupid RomComs and s*** where they have characters falling inlove magically after being friends. NO! Not real life! This doesn't really happen. Friendships happen for a reason and should probably stay that way! When people say, they fell in love with their best friend it's because they were already attracted to each other to begin with. If that's not there, then there's a slim to no chance of it happening at all.

I love my best friend but he didn't start out as one! We became the best of friends BECAUSE he's my partner.

[akthung]

matagal na yang friendzone. previous generations just didnt give weight to it. its the same old story, riniromanticize lang ng madla.

parang martial arts lang yan, usually yung mga kulang sa exposure ang napaka proud sa bruises and wounds nila.

[jamimi29]

Na-bff-zoned ako previously, sobrang nakaka-sad? Kasi nung time na yon, sya yung constant na kasama ko. Ka-project ko sya before tapos hindi kami close,tapos nagulat nalang ako one time kinausap nya ako and parang everyday nagkakausap na kami. Nung una, wala lang, pero nung time na lumalabas labas na kami, parang dun na nadevelop yung feelings ko for him. We're both single at that time tapos ewan ko ba. Sweet sya and seloso ang nagconfess sya sakin na gusto nya ako. Pero hindi naging kami kasi nagkagusto sya sa iba, and ayaw daw nya mag risk na gawin akong gf kasi ayaw nya ako mawala as a friend, so BFFs nalang daw kami. HAHAHAH. funny thing is,nung naging sila, hindi na nya ako kinakausap, and hindi ko na rin naman sya kinakausap now. =))