Is this depression or something else?

[ckay]

this past 5 years medyo madami at malalaki problems ang nangyari sakin. I've been wanting to ask and post my problems here before since wala talaga ako nakakausap pero if persons who knows me, hindi nila maintindihan, what more pa kaya yun total stranger diba. Anyways, this past few months para stress is taking its toll on me. Im dreaming about accidents, deaths, sometimes I wake up crying. Minsan nangyayari tulala ako then I'll day dream pero puro negative. I swear natatakot ako sa nangyayari sakin lalo now I have a 21 months old daughter. The other night I was crying, she hugged and kissed me and said "mommy don't cry". I know those are the sincerest words I been wanting to hear for a long time. I wanted to move on, I don't want to waste another year. Gusto ko maging maayos para anak ko pero ang hirap and I don't know where to start. Nahihiya ako magdasal kay Lord, kasi once I doubted Him. Baka sabihin nya hindi naman buo ang faith ko, then dadasal dasal ako. Where to start? I know I need help.

[binx]

Sis, what's bothering you po?

Siguro you should start with acknowledging/enumerating what problems you have.
Then pag naidentify mo na, you can start from there.
Ako pag may problem, ill do all my best to resolve it pero pag nagamit ko na 100% ng powers ko, i let it be. Most of the time nareresolve na lang bigla ng di ko namamalayan.

Of course, dapat di ka makakalimot na tumawag kay God.
Our God is a forgiving God. Kahit ilang beses mo Siyang itakwil, nandiyan pa rin Siya para sa atin. You will be surprised how forgiving He is.

Next thing you have to do is count your blessings. Having a child is such a blessing already. Siguro, stop thinking about yourself... instead, spend more time with your baby. They could do wonders you know.

[sweety_paige]

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

Start now, decide to start now... nobody will help you but only yourself.

Wala ka ng magagawa pa sa mga nangyari before... Live for your daughter. 

God listen, all the time...  Tatalikuran ka ng lahat ng tao pero hindi si God. 

Problems happen to everyone, iba iba nga lang ang approach, ang mahalaga nalampasan mo at kinaya mo. 

[ckay]

Sis, what's bothering you po?

Medyo madami pero what bothers me the most is future namin ng daughter ko. My ex-husband and my family. Malaki savings ko nun single ako pero parang nawala ng parang bula, now kailangan namin ng money ng daughter ko wala na and hindi ko alam if makukuha ko pa. I don't have money, no work, a struggling business, a family where I will never be good enough etc. Also an ex husband na hindi ko na ma explain kung ano nararamdaman ko sa kanya.



---------------------


Gusto ko talaga magdasal, yun totoong dasal pero honestly, parang hindi ko alam kung paano. I was born and raised as a catholic though hindi ako religious. Then i know few people na naging christian na parang nagkaron ng inner peace. Pasensya na magulo talaga isip ko sa madaming bagay pati religion hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta. Please patience on me.

[chicafabulosa]

I was like that a long time ago. But I ask God's help. I go to church and cry my heart out. If you have struggling business, then I guess its about time you need to look for a stable earning job. I know it may not sound practical right now since you have 21 yr old daughter to look after but you need to do something about it. I love what my husband would tell me in situations that I know I don't want to do anything, but he would always tell me... "Well you gotta do what you need to do". If you think you're family thinks you're not good enough, then detach yourself from them. Nobody can help you but yourself. Surrounding yourself with people who would drag you down are the least of people you want to be with your life. It may sound harsh but if you can unplug your cord towards them, then do it before you totally lose your sanity.

My family used to treat me like I am obligated to work them before I met my husband. My husband taught me to learn how to love myself and learn to say no to them. It took him 2 years before I fully understand what he was saying.

All you can do is live well, for yourself and your kid. Yes you can still get your money back if you act  "NOW". Find a job that will support you and your child well while you find ways to regain the status of your business. Do not let these things take toll on you. Ask for God's help, He knows what to do. And remember God won't give you something you can't handle.

[1choi_ko9]

Talk to God as if you're talking to a friend. Burst out your feelings when talking to Him. Kwentuhan mo sya, ilabas mo sama ng loob mo sa mga tao, ---that's a prayer...by just talking to him...

Miski ano ang religion mo, walang kaso dun, basta you have this communication with God that is more important. Before I also don't know how to pray, one time I am soo down, I was day dreaming na I hugged God so tight and I told Him everything... and you the feeling na nawala na lang gradually yung fear, yung worries? Thats how I feel when I tell God my problems. I lift it all to Him....

If you want someone to talk to...I'm here sis We're all all here for you

[health.gal]

hi sis ckay,

first, pray to God.

second, seek professional help.

sending my *hugs* for you

[twix]

hay! nakaka relate naman dito sa thread na ito parang gusto ibuhos ang lahat nag nararamdaman ko sa buhay ko..

[aplonie]

those horrible dreams happened to remind you about your waking life but it doesn't mean it'll happen to you. they are just a reminder...
if you need someone to talk to, im just one buzz or an email away.
cheer up sis! everything happens for a reason...
my prayers are with you. 

[ckay]

Thanks to all who posted and read my message. And to those na nakakarelate din, sana makaya natin. Mahirap talaga magsimula ulit so i think i'll follow my daughter, baby steps muna. Sana magawa ko, I tried a lot of times pero pag may dumating na bago problem parang lahat ng nasimulan ko is babalik lang sa dati. Yes i want the stressors out of my life pero hindi talaga ganun kadali. Ang hirap talaga ng madami nakikiaalam na at nakikicomment sa buhay ng isang tao. Sana in time maging may sense yun mga sinasabi ko at makapag share din ako ng inspiring story to other. Again, thanks to all.

[chicafabulosa]

Thanks to all who posted and read my message. And to those na nakakarelate din, sana makaya natin. Mahirap talaga magsimula ulit so i think i'll follow my daughter, baby steps muna. Sana magawa ko, I tried a lot of times pero pag may dumating na bago problem parang lahat ng nasimulan ko is babalik lang sa dati. Yes i want the stressors out of my life pero hindi talaga ganun kadali. Ang hirap talaga ng madami nakikiaalam na at nakikicomment sa buhay ng isang tao. Sana in time maging may sense yun mga sinasabi ko at makapag share din ako ng inspiring story to other. Again, thanks to all.

Yes I know that. But why bother sa mga comment nila if you know na useless lang naman ang comments nila to begin with. It is your life. dont let anybody run it for you. you make your own future. dont let anybody decide for yourself.

[aquacharly]

CKAY, my circumstances were different but once upon a time, I also could not see any light at the end of the  tunnel.  We are similar in that we are lapsed Catholics, and believed we had not followed through on previous promises or deals with God.

Well, CKAY -- just believe enough that God is a father like no other - and will always be there for us. It is us ourselves that do not tend to our relationship with Him.  Do not be ashamed - He will always listen to you, kahit na ano pa nagawa or hindi mo ginawa...  Tayo lang naman matigas ang ulo, tayo lang naman hurt ourselves or suffer the consequences of our decisions/indecisiveness.  I  do not believe He wishes us hardships.  A good father understands and forgives, so what more with Him?

Now,  learn to pray, and I interpret that as being honest with Him and putting your trust in Him -- which is very hard to do, mainly due to pride or self-centeredness.  Do not make Deals with Him, as in -- lol, I will never insult another person  nor animal if You get me through this God.  Promise, talaga.  Lol, no more deals. 

Just say -- Thy  Will be done, You know what's best in the long-run.  Just pls give me courage, and a clear mind. 
Believe me, things will unfold beyond whatever you imagined.  Things may get rougher in the short-
term, but have enough faith -- it will work out well

  So, be guided by your faith, and learn to trust yourself too. 

[ckay]

Thank you to all the comments. It helped me pray and realize few things. Mahirap pa din situation ko but i know changes wont happen in a short period of time. Maybe, in a few years. I even told a friend about me posting my problem online and your comments and pms really are touching. I wont give up, I know I can do this. I know i used to be a strong person and im going to bring it back or better. I still have negative thoughts and dreams about accidents but not as often as before. I pray right away. About deaths so far more than a week na wala so I can say may progress. Again, thank you to all!

[yna_alex]

hi sis ckay! it could be depression but you have a very big chance of overcoming it. lahat naman tayo may problemang mabigat kailangan lang maging matatag lalo na at may baby ka. isipin mo palagi kailangan mong malagpasan yan para sa inyo ng baby mo at para sa magandang future mo. thinking positive is a good start. iwasan mo na magisip ng mga hindi magagandang bagay. lagi mong iisipin yung mga trial binibigay dahil may dahilan. what doesnt kill you make you stronger, and the fact that you are still very much alive ibig sabihin matatag ka.

i-share ko lang once upon a time sobrang tindi rin ng problema ka dumating ako sa point na hindi na ako halos lumalabas ng kwarto at hindi na kumakain pero hindi nakakaramdam ng gutom. bale nag pile-up na rin ang problema ko nun, mother ko may sakit at ako lang magisa ang nagaalaga ako nagpapaligo, then i also had marital and financial problem. pati emotional isama mo na. ang dami kong detractors kamag-anak pa mismo. pero i remained strong, lagi kong iniisip minsan lang ako mabubuhay dito sa mundo at pag hindi ko pa pinagbuti sayang naman ang pagbigay ng buhay sakin ni God. lagi din akong nagp-pray kahit na dumating na yung time ha pati si God halos sisihin ko na. pag nagp-pray ako sinasabi ko lahat ng nasa loob ko and then i apologize to Him, and I ask for His help. I pray for serenity, for wisdom. kasi lahat ng nangyayari may lessons na gustong ibigay satin. at ngayon in His mercy eto sobrang positive na ang outlook ko sa buhay. naiisip ko i've been through the worst moments so everything will be much better.

medyo mahaba na pala, i just hope you feel much better soon sis. just hang in there and always keep a positive attitude. it helps din pala na nagkukwento ka. yan ang advice ng doc ng mother ko when she fell into deep depression ng ilang taon. kaya dont hesitate to share here sis, makikinig kami at maga-advice sa kaya namin 

[angel_babyteen]

Stay ka po sa loob ng church,spend ka ng time dun,kahit maupo ka lang ng ilang oras,pag ginagawa ko yun napapanatag loob ko,try mo lang sis baka sayo din. :-)

[sheems69]

hi there! jz read laaht ng mga comments and messages nyo for ckay.. so inspiring! sna ma-apply ko rin sa sarili ko, dahil i am experiencing some of depression since i arrived here in canada.. sobrang hirap ako mag-adjust. really need some help too. tnx!
bago [textspeak!] ako sa site na to and my cousin recommends me to join here..

[snowberry]

Hi sisses CKay and sheems69.  Don't worry , God will always listen to you in whatever way you pray as long as sincere and from your heart .  Also,  start reading the Bible .

I wan to share a favorite verse of mine which somehow helps me stop worrying.

Matthew 6:26-29 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they.Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

[carrieso]

Amen... So inspiring

[shalikah]

Just say -- Thy  Will be done, You know what's best in the long-run.  Just pls give me courage, and a clear mind. 

Ako rin whenever I have problem eto yun sinasabi ko.


Ako rin before sa dream ko hinugged ako ni God. Ngayon whenever I have problems iniimagine ko na yinayakap niya ako. And parang biglang okay na ang lahat.

Kantahin mo rin ito sis kapag nalulungkot ka.

Dark is the night
I can weather the storm
Never say die
I've been down this road before
I'll never quit
I'll never lay down
See I promised myself that I'd never let me down

I'll never give up
Never give in
Never let a ray of doubt slip in
And if I fall
I'll never fail
I'll just get up and try again

Never lose hope
Never lose faith
There's much too much at stake
Upon myself I must depend
I'm not looking for place or show
I'm gonna win

No stopping now
There's still a ways to go
Someway, somehow
Whatever it takes, I know
I'll never quit, no no
I'll never go down,
I'll make sure they remember my name
A hundred years from now

When it's all said and done
My once in a lifetime will be back again
Now is the time
To take a stand
Here is my chance
That's why I'll...

I'm gonna win