no more love

[heavensent]

i can't fully explain what i'm feeling right now, its been going on for quite awhile

me and my partner have been together for almost 9 years, this past couple of years i don't feel like i still love him..
yes, i still get jealous sometimes but maybe because i just don't want him fooling me,
yes, i still care about him specially kung late na at magmomotor pa siya pauwi but not as much as before

we argue a lot, we don't even have a one on one conversation na hindi nauwi sa pagtatalo..

the last time we had a fight ayoko na talaga, i even called his mom to tell him na hindi kami uuwi ng daughter ko hanggat andun siya sa bahay namin, pero sinundo niya kami sa house ng parents ko super naguguluhan na ko, parang i can't see myself falling inlove with him again..

i dont want to make love with him, i dont even want to kiss or hug him or even talk to him

i don't know what wrong and if we can still resolve this

please give me some advice

[1choi_ko9]

first take a deep breath and  exhale....

Think of the things that may cause how you feel towards your partner. From there, think it out whats wrong? What's happening?

[chrlxmyot]

^ hi sis! IMO, kaya kayo ganyan kasi wala kayong good communication as partners..as husband and wife... sabi mo nga wala pa kayong one on one conversation na di kayo nagtatalo... if you don't mind sis, pwede ba malaman reason why do you feel that way towards your husband?

just wanna share ha...i've been through a lot in our 12 years of marriage, but from the start i see to it na masasabi ko kay hubby kung ano yung feelings and emotions ko towards him or something that he did...madalas ganyan din kami usap then argue na sa huli...so here's what i did... i always write him letters...then dun ko sasabihin lahat ng gusto ko sabihin but i make sure na mababasa nya yung letter kaya nilalagay ko sa closet nya para pag open nya makikita nya agad and i always knew if he read it or not...that way, naiiwasan na ang argument kaya lang di ko agad nalalaman kung ano response nya...but atleast nalaman nya nasa loob ko and it's enough for me... you can try this...see if it works!

sis, find a way kung paano kayo makakapag usap ng maayos or atleast maipaalam mo sa kanya nararamdaman mo at mga gusto mo sabihin...communication is very important in a relationship..... God bless!

[heavensent]

thanks sisses for the reply..

many things happened already, hurtful words that was said between us kaya siguro naipon yung anger ko..

nahihirapan kasi talaga ko sabihin yung feelings ko towards him kasi minsan umiiwas nalang ako para wala ng issues
i know we should try to resolve this but sometimes i feel like giving up already

[1choi_ko9]

Try not give up that easily. Patience sis patience...don't worry everything will be okay soon.
PRAY sis.
Its true, try to write him a letter, if madalas kayong mag away tuwing mag uusap lang...tama na idaan mo muna sa letter ang saloobin mo....try connecting with your hubby.
Sometimes, kaya may conflict, kase times gusto rin ni hubby na iniintindi sila sa kung ano rin ang nasa loob nila.
Maybe the reson why kayo nagkaclash kase someone is not giving way. Gusto nung isa sya muna pakinggan or the other way around.
PRIDE ang napakahirap na kalaban sa isang relationship. With Pride, walang maayos na paguusap.
Lower down your pride, and soon malay mo, he will soon lower down his naman. Then give and take na kayo.

[heavensent]

^tama ka sis, PRIDE nga yata.. since wala gusto mag give way sa aming dalawa


hopefully sis magawa namin yan..

super thanks sa advice

[jaiaquino]

SOS heavensent, I know exactly how you feel. I know that I still love him but I think I'm not in love with him anymore. Marami na din nangyari sa amin. Dumating na kami sa point na I asked him to move out na of our house. We're still talking to each other and every weekend he spends time with our daughter. We're trying to work things out pero just like you, palagi kami nauuwi sa away. I feel sometimes I've lost trust and respect for him and that may be the reason I'm not comfortable being with him na. I'm also at a loss as to what to with our relationship. Minsan din kasi kulang yun effort na pinapakita nya - Hindi naman ako demanding. Ano ba naman yum sunduin nya ko minsan from work or ihatid? Mahirap ba yun? Hay. Sorry medyo naiinis ako whenever I think about it. It's like I badly want this to work na sinabi ko na sa kanya what he can do pero wala pa rin. Ganun ba talaga Ang lalaki?

[aquacharly]

Accdg to FEGLORIA , when you feel you have reached the end of the road  -- it may help to go through the Retrouvaille Seminar.  PM her

Teka --  claro natin  ha -- I have nothing to gain from this, same with FEGLORIA - we just  want to point out a possible solution to difficult relationships. 

[jaiaquino]

^aquacharly, I think they require couples to be married in that seminar. My partner is Muslim also.

[aquacharly]

^Oh my, then. 
Well, then, HEAVENSENT must face her issues truthfully, and see if there are feasible solutions.  it's usually either 1 or both grew and left 1 behind, or grew in different directions as to be in dis-connect; or 1 no longer wants to continue as the "giving" or forever "giving in" partner.

Best for HEAVENSENT to sort her real issues out with someone competent, non-judgmental and doesn't know them both from Adam so to speak.  Objectivity is required.

Now, HEAVENSENT -- there are  ways to constructively communicate, hindi iyong you went into gradual  shut-down .. basta, do not make life-changing decisions based on emotions.

[pineappl]

9 years, that's quite a long time! If this bad feeling of yours has been going on for quite a while already.. think hard.. You shouldn't force yourself to be in a relationship with him, if you're not happy. Unless.. he could make you feel happy again! I think you two should talk about it and then decide if there are any possibilities for change. Maybe go for a short vacation or a day-trip together 

[heavensent]

sisses, thanks a lot for th advices

right now im trying very hard to make thing works

[Ms.Cacao70%]

9 years na din kami ni hubby at yung pinagdadaanan mo ngayon, we've been through that mga 4 years ago pa. mahirap talaga na mapunta ka sa ganong situation, yung parang wala na, ayaw mo nang mag-try kasi parang wala namang nangyayaring maganda. pareho kayong pagod na but at the same time parang ayaw din naming i-give-up yung isat-isa 

gradual yung changes sa amin ni hubby. may times na nag-aaway pa din kami at pag me ganong times, parang gusto uli namin magive-up. pero hindi naman nangyayari. tapos gradually, we realize that we can't change ourselves just to please each other. kailangan matanggap namin na hindi kami perfect at hindi perfect ang relationship namin. may mga bagay kaming kinaiinisan sa isat-isa at siguro dahil na din sa maturity, natuto kaming magbigay, we learn to let small things go. we learn to choose our battles wisely. noong hindi na ako laging nagagalit palagi, naging ganon din si hubby sa akin. we learn to forgive each other sa mga past mistakes namin at pag may away, we try na hindi na palakihin pa. it's a lot of work i tell you but we learn everyday. nag-effort talaga akong maging sweet at siya din naman. minsan, natatawa kami kasi ang babaw ng mga away namin noon. away bata nga tawag namin.

yon at saka respeto. respeto mo ang gusto ko, respeto ko din ang gusto mo. di tayo laging pareho ng gusto pero kung pagbibigyan mo ako paminsan-minsan, pagbibigyan din kita tapos ma-realize natin in the end na hindi pala talaga natin gusto yon, gusto lang natin na may makikinig at may iinitindi. i hope you gain something from it.

[feelingera]

heavensent- i think dapat andun pa din un respect nyo sa isat isa kapag un talaga ang nawala mahirap na.

we're married for 5 years madalas din kme mag away dati then sabi ni hubby sa akin hindi na daw kme nagdadate na dalawa kaya daw siguro madalas kme mag away....find time para sa inyong dalawa...

[heavensent]

^^ thanks for the advice sis, maybe dapat lang talaga na magbigayan kami.. sometimes kasi ako din talaga may kasalanan, sabi nga ni hubby wala daw ako sweetness sa katawan ko.. hehe..

^isa din siguro yan sa factor, wala kami time together, di na din kami nag dadate..