should you lower your standard?

[molybdenumstudios]

I really believe that you should NEVER, ever, lower your standards. Lowering standards have a high tendency for an individual to settle for less.

[amethyst028]

i believe everyone should have a set of standards when it comes to choosing their partner but it should be realistic and practical. baka naman sobrang taas to the point na walang maka reach ikaw rin ang mapapag iwanan sa huli.

[ohcmon]

I've tried lowering my standards before pero ang ending I just always feel like I'm missing out on what I really wanted in the first place, and I just end up hurting myself and the guy in the process.

Kaya ngayon never ko na talaga ibaba standards ko, even if that means I'll be an old maid. Lol

[simang]

just set your non-negotiable standards. And mind you, not everything we want in a guy is non-negotiable, there will always be something that you will be willing to compromise. Pag di swak si guy doon, ditch.

If you value family so much, and you feel that the guy you should date should value family too, then don't be with a man who disrespects his parents.

If you think that communication is essential, then date a man who does just that, kahit hindi sya straight mag-english.

[cecilydee]

^haha tama yan. kahit di siya straight mag english pero na eexpress naman niya ang feelings niya sayo at damang dama mo yung sincerity - good communication parin yun.

in my opinion, lower mo lang ang standard mo kapag nilower mo rin ang self esteem mo. mababa self esteem = mababa quality ng idadate mo.

[molybdenumstudios]

in my opinion, lower mo lang ang standard mo kapag nilower mo rin ang self esteem mo. mababa self esteem = mababa quality ng idadate mo.

Kailangang malakas ang loob para makakuha ng high-quality partner. Agree!

[argento]

Kahit mameet yung standards mo it doesn guarantee a lasting relationship. Tsaka yung standards mo dapat ganun ka din

[iwannabeasupermodel]

naku sis they are called standards for a reason! dont lower them. it's an insult TO YOU and not to the men pag binababa mo. eventually, no matter how impossible it may seem to be now, makikita at makikita mo pa rin yung someone na maghihit ng lahat ng asa listahan mo ng standards mo. 

[aquacharly]

Should you lower your standard? You answered your question yourself:  you will never be able to overlook what you see as a deficiency.

Actually,  mahirap if you label it as  your (high) "standards".  Kasi Desiderata loop yan:  what if sa iba ikaw yung below standard? Or, too high to reach standard?

So perhaps, since there is no such thing as The Perfect Man, or The Xerox of your Ex --  focus on the realistic non-negotiable traits you must see in a man, to get you interested.
Fine, so you have a list. Alam mo, madami may ganyang non- nego wish list... But, hahaha, forget the list when The Spark for a man is there.  Maybe, you just haven't found the man you wanna spark-le for.

Don't lose hope.   There is bound to be a man out there  who may  have all your non- nego attributes;    or may not have such, but can make you feel happy.   Enjoy life, do not go OC on your search & assessments.  Just enjoy yourself. 

[Purple_Power]

Actually,  mahirap if you label it as  your (high) "standards".  Kasi Desiderata loop yan:  what if sa iba ikaw yung below standard? Or, too high to reach standard?

I agree. Sa mga nakilala ko pa nga na nag-iistandard honestly sila itong masasabi kong below standard pa nga sa itsura pa lang and status in life. Hindi muna tinitingnan sarili nila or dahil pantakip ito sa insecurity nila?

Yung isang friend nga lang ng bf ko eh! hindi na nga siya gwapo and all pero naghahangad pa rin ng complete package type na gf tapos dahil sa mga hinanakit niya gusto pang mag attempt na magchikboy yung tipong pag pinagsawaan na niya yung maganda eh magpapalit na siya. May gf siya noon pa at dahil sa sarap naging sila. Pero wala hanap pa rin siya ng hanap ng iba dahil hindi siya kuntento dun sa gf niya na binigay naman lahat sa kanya.

Another thing yung cousins ko na social climber, to think kahit inaayawan nila kasi hindi kami mayaman or hindi nila mapapakinabangan. Laking gulat ko na lang yung isa iniyakan yung pinsan ko na nilalait yung bf niya which is napangasawa na niya dahil hindi mayaman. Then yung kapatid nung nanlait na yun nga social climber rin nabalitaan ko rin na hindi rin mayaman napangasawa in fact parang ghetto pa nga raw tinitirhan tapos nung kinasal sobrang tipid pa, kesyo gusto magtaxi na lang dahil hindi pumayag yung tatay na magdrive for the bride.  Dun sa 3 pinsan namin na social climber isa lang sa kanila nakapangasawa ng mayaman kaso naman dumedenggoy.

Usually naman kapag na in love ka or kahit magka crush ka pa nga lang eh! You'll never know baka makalimutan mo yung mga standards mo. Tapos kahit anong flaws and issues in life tatanggapin mo dahil sa pagmamahal mo sa kanya. Kahit nga lasenggo pa yan o addict you'll still never know kapag andyan ka na sa stage na in love ka.

Ito lang naman pananaw ko dyan eh! kapag hinahanap mo tapos hindi ka naman na inlove kahit na ba andyan na yung sinasabi mong standard at all pero hindi ka nga in love eh! then hindi ka makukuntento. So do you think for the sake lang of having boyfriend eh masasabi mo nang successful and happy ka agad sa lovelife mo? Situation na makakapagsabi niyan. Why don't you hope and pray na lang to have someone special for you someday then with the standards that you wanted? I think it could be a big help.

[BDJ]

Kasama kasi sis sa standard ng pakakasalan kong lalake ay mabait dapat ang in laws ko! : )

  yan lang ang hindi ko naisama sa standards ko... I mean of course my primary concern is yung magiging hubby ko. Sabihin ko nang he is an ideal guy talaga in terms of characteristics with emotional strength na nagpapalakas ng loob ko which is yun ang importante. Tinanggap ko na he is not financially stable or my life is not the same sa family ko. Kaso talo talaga pagdating sa in law. Hindi ko masikmura yung situation nila rito lalo na on how she speaks, her manners, attitude isama mo na yung hygiene practices. I already mentioned to other threads the start of my hellish life with this in law na nag stop naman kaso nagkalamat na rin. Pero ito namang hubby ko kapag binubunganga of course it still irritates me that much and chances are damay pa rin ako.

[honeybunny]

know what you want and don't settle for anything less that you thing you deserve.

[Girltalker2]

Kahit mameet yung standards mo it doesn guarantee a lasting relationship.

True, but it increases your chances to have a more fulfilled life.

[coffeelovermd]

"You'll know when you meet the right one, because it's not how you feel about him, it's how he makes you feel about yourself."

[chinablue]

Sabi ng friend ko, babaan ko daw ang standards ko. Eh ako naman, napapaisip na why should I? Eh I think deserve ko din naman na medyo maging choosy, hahaha. Di pa naman nagkakaubusan ng lalaki para maging desperada ako. Di naman ako pangit, actually maganda naman daw ako sabi ng nanay ko hahaha so di naman siguro masama maghangad din ako ng physically attractive sa paningin ko. And siyempre gusto ko din smart and may stable na work. Eh siyempre I earn my own money, alangan namang pili ako ng walang work, yung tipong ako pa ang bubuhay. Kakaloka naman yun. Di naman siguro dehado yung guy sa akin, mahilig at masarap naman ako magluto, generous, malambing, at nakakatawang kasama. Marunong din naman ako sa gawaing bahay, hahaha. Pero yung mga little things eh pwede na siguro ioverlook like ayoko sana ng smoker pero kung love ko talaga eh di accept ko na lang. Tutal di din naman ako perfect. Kaya sisses, if you know you deserve it, push lang natin yan. Mahahanap din natin yung taong swak sa atin in God's perfect time.