Many women have taken the mantle of mom in different ways—from giving birth, to adopting, to finding themselves in situations where they had to become caretakers and breadwinners to children that aren’t theirs. And the same way each woman’s path to motherhood is unique, each day is also a lesson that there’s no one right way to be a parent. And yet, there are those who still feel like they’re never enough.
Everyone has the picture of an ideal mother in their heads: one who knows exactly how to make their kids stop crying, who always keeps the house clean, and who always has food prepared at the exact time every day—all while looking like a gorgeous, flawless superwoman. The thing is, this ideal does not exist, and worse, it only makes real moms feel like they’re supposed to have it all figured out; that they aren’t doing things right because they aren’t stereotypically “perfect.”
As a mom, you don’t need to strive to meet impossible standards since you already have enough to deal with. And while being a mom is one of the most gratifying things that can happen in your life, it shouldn’t define who you are. Instead, you should let it transform you into someone more than who you were when you first began, in whatever form it may come.
You are more than the breast milk that you’ve struggled to pump, the sleepless nights you’ve had to endure, and all the PTA meetings you’ve had to attend. There will always be times when you’ll make mistakes, but you, both as a mother and as a woman, will learn from and be better because of them.
It’s been said that before you can love others, you should learn to love yourself first. It’s a fact that many mothers give their all to their children, and it’s nothing short of noble—however, you must also remember that as a mother, it’s still important to never lose sight of who you are as a woman, to take care of yourself, and to allow yourself space to breathe and recover especially when it seems like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders.
Ask for help. It takes a village to raise children. Asking for help is neither a sign of weakness nor does it mean that you’re a bad mom. After all, being a nurturer isn’t just a woman’s responsibility. Your husband or partner is a huge part of the equation, and he should be as hands-on as you are when it comes to parenting—from making sure there’s food on the table to checking if your kid’s homework is done before letting them watch TV. You’re a team, and you should never be the only one to move when diapers need changing or when your child needs to be comforted from nightmares.
You don’t ever have to feel like you’re alone in this. You have friends and family to help you. Don’t be afraid to voice out your need for support as it doesn’t (and shouldn’t) make you feel like less of a mother. This touching short web series by
Mom, always remember that you’re doing fine. You’re doing the best that you can. It may not seem like you’re doing enough, but just the fact that you’re willing to make a big effort to take care of someone else means that you’re doing more than what you’ve been called to do. Be kind to yourself. No one else can be the wonderful mom that you already are.
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This article was created by Summit Storylabs in partnership with PLDT Home.