So your significant other just dumped you, leaving your heart broken and your pride bruised. But no matter how much you want to keep your dignity by not texting or calling him, a part of you can’t help but send him that lengthy and "well-composed" text message you spent the better part of the hour agonizing over anyway.
Don’t worry, you're not alone. In fact, there’s a scientific explanation for your behavior. According to psychologists, there’s such a thing as extinction burst, and it’s the reason you can’t help but seek your ex out. Scientifically, it’s defined as a temporary increase in the frequency, duration or magnitude of the target response, but in layman’s terms, it means engaging in positively reinforced behavior that leads to satisfaction.
Elite Daily cites the vending machine experience as a perfect example. You put money in the slot, choose an item, and wait for it to come out. But when said item gets stuck, chances are, you’ll end up kicking, banging, and slamming the machine to get what you want. The same goes for relationships–after getting used to positive reinforcement, you come to expect certain things.
When you send a text, you expect to receive a reply. If you say "I love you," you expect the other person to say it back. Once you’ve gotten used to getting positive feedback through positive actions, a sudden disruption could send you into a frenzy.
So how do you handle your outbursts? Go out, have fun, and start moving on. Try these stories!
Odd But Effective Ways to Get Over a Breakup
Getting over a breakup takes time, tears, and uh... mint chocolate ice cream, but if you want to try something new, here are four interesting strategies real girls swear by!
10 Things to Do While You Try to Move On
Return those baby pictures by post!
The Ultimate "Get Over Him" Playlist
Flush him out of your system one song at a time!
SCREENSHOT: "Why Don't You Love Me"/Beyonce (2008)