Whenever a relationship ends, people put in a lot of effort—too much, actually—to appear okay. This includes not wanting to delete or block an ex on social media, because "that’s too petty" and "he’ll think I'm not over him." So instead, you type his name on your Facebook search bar every few hours, even when you KNOW there isn’t anything new on his wall. You know where he is at all times of the day, because you’ve monitored his check-ins. Hell, you even know about his co-worker's birthday because you’ve seen all the tagged photos. Girl, quit it.
A new study in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking found that stalking your ex on Facebook leads to "greater current distress over the breakup, more negative feelings, more sexual desire, more longing for the ex-partner, and lower personal growth." Facebook surveillance can keep you from healing, especially if you are forcing a friendship so soon after the break up. Wanting to be friends can soften the blow but it ultimately just slows down the process of moving on. Participants of the study showed signs of significant personal growth after cutting all communication.
On the other hand, the study also found out that there are those who could totally get over the relationship without deleting the ex. Though less likely, you could develop an indifferent attitude towards your former partner and your past relationship. If that’s the case, kudos to you! What’s your secret?
This story originally appeared on Cosmo.ph.
* Minor edits have been made by the Female Network editors.