We know it can be hard to forget the past, but why bother stressing yourself over a relationship that has already ended? According to a study published in the Association for Psychological Science, holding on to anger and grudges over past memories affects your emotional and psychological health.
Spending too much time on your gadgets
You may not be aware of it, but being glued to your phone when you’re with your partner only implies that you’d rather spend time scrolling through your feed than conversing with him; in other words, he's not your priority.
Being on your device puts a wall between you and your man; watching that funny Instagram video or ‘liking’ that Facebook photo can wait, so have meaningful conversations instead and really be present.
Constantly nagging your partner
As adults, you should be able to trust that you have a competent partner. When a task remains undone, a reminder or two won’t hurt; but if you’re constantly and irrationally in his face about unmet responsibilities, it’ll only build up resentment and irritation – and eventually pull you two apart.
Clinical psychologist Seth Meyers suggests you pay attention to how you converse with your partner, “If you catch yourself nagging, apologize immediately and distract yourself by engaging in another activity.”
Fighting over the same things repeatedly
Arguing about a certain issue again and again can strain your relationship – and may even lead to a breakup. Instead of fighting to win, listen and learn how to compromise. If he’s bothered by some of your bad habits (that you know are bad to begin with), take the initiative to change so that you two won’t have to bicker about it the next time the issue resurfaces.
Taking them for granted.
Sometimes, when couples have been together for quite some time, they tend to forget to appreciate the little things their partners do for them. You could be making your partner feel taken for granted even without realizing it.
“Take the time to recognize what your partner contributes to your life and let him or her know how much it means to you,” says Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., a professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst and author of the book The Search for Fulfilment.
Engaging in endless PDA
There’s nothing wrong with showing affection for each other, but you have to be considerate of other people, too. Whether that’s in public or being all over social media, there’s always a little too much of everything, right?
Remember, as you grow older, your relationship should grow with you. If you find that your problems from a year ago are just as present as they've ever been, then you need to start taking a proactive stance towards improvement. Otherwise, you might be headed for a breakup you could have prevented.