In your 30s, you're most likely to have gone beyond the uncertainty of undefined relationships. You'd rather know where you stand with your partner—whether you're in it for the long-term or just enjoying a light fling—because really, you've got a lot of things going for you and you have no time to waste. So when you find yourself investing in a person, you want to be totally sure that he's invested in you, too.
But what will you do when somewhere down the line, your gut feeling tells you he's not really that into you? Watch out for these signs, girl. You may have just inadvertently become someone's rebound:
He just came out of a relationship.
Of course, we're not saying that every person who has just come out of relationship isn't prepared to get into a new one, because there are instances when love is gone long before the breakup. But to be safe and sure, it's important to indulge in singlehood first before jumping into another commitment. Best look at the current emotional status of your partner to check whether or not he's actually ready to be be serious.
His last relationship was serious.
Did his last relationship go the way of Nix and Pia in Exes Baggage? If there's a great deal of drama in his past, then you may want to proceed with caution. A recently-ended serious relationship isn't something that anyone would or could easily shake off. You can't take what you currently have to the next level if someone is still carrying a lot of emotional baggage.
He appears to be so in love with you, it's scary.
He treats you like a savior, but at the same time, you feel as if you need to take extra care of him because he can be a bit too sensitive at times. Is that intensity actually meant for you, or do you feel as if it's for someone else and it's only being projected onto you?
He's extremely clingly one moment then totally aloof the next.
In times of emotional need, he just can't seem to let go of you to the point that you feel like a crutch. But when things are going good, you can't seem to find him, or at least do anything that will keep his focus on you. Then you realize that things are becoming a bit too draining for you.
He always mentions his ex.
There's nothing wrong with talking about past relationships (in fact, it's considered healthy), but there's a difference between discussing past flames and learning from the experience, and mentioning what an ex usually has for breakfast (and lunch, and dinner). His ex's name hogs almost every conversation you have, so much so that you feel like you already know the person better than the one you're dating. It begs the question—where do you actually fit in his life?
He has high (read: crazy) expectations of you and your "relationship."
You always feel like your worth is being measured, and you somehow don't come close to the unspoken standards that he has set. He always pulls your relationship to weird directions; it's like he's trying to force his past routines on you without considering what you want.
It feels like you're always pushing a boulder up a hill.
He's just so heavy to emotionally carry, and really, you shouldn't be doing all the lifting. A person who looks for a rebound relationship often doesn't know that he is, but at the same time, it shouldn't be your responsibility to complete someone. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to him.
If you're convinced that you're his rebound, then take time to discuss matters with him. At least you'll give him the time to properly heal. Who knows? Maybe you'll have another chance at love in the future.