Neri Miranda has never been one to shy away from personal questions. And so when one fan asked about cheating, Neri didn't just answer the question directly, she blogged about her husband Chito Miranda, Jr.'s "pambababae" before they got married.
The fan asked Neri if she ever took revenge on her husband. The actress revealed that she did not, neither did she entertain the thought of other men because "mali pa rin yun. Flirting pa rin yun, cheating pa rin yun." She also said that the perfect way to exact revenge on someone who has wronged you is "Mahalin ang sarili at ipakita mo sa kanya ang value mo bilang isang babae at bilang isang tao," she wrote on Instagram.*
"Walang masamang maidudulot ang pagiging mabuting tao. Kung trip mong maghiganti, yung ikagaganda naman ng buhay mo. Mag-focus ka sa sarili mo at mahalin mo ang sarili mo. Dahil sarili mo lang ang kakampi mo hanggang sa dulo," Neri wrote on her blog. "At kapag makita nila na bina-value mo ang sarili mo, susunod sila. Rerespetuhin ka rin nila at mamahalin kagaya ng pagmamahal mo sa sarili mo," she added.
On her blog post, Neri also revealed a three-step guide based on how she coped when you find out your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you.
1. Cry.
"Pero dapat ikaw lang ha? Wag kapag andyan si boyfriend o si husband. Ikaw lang. Moment mo yan," she wrote. "Naka set na ba yung “heart broken” playlist mo sa spotify? I-play mo na! At ngumalngal ka!" Neri suggested.
2. Compose yourself.
When you're done drying, "Maghilamos ka o maligo ka. Magbihis ka na akala mo ay makikipag-date ka o manonood ng sine," Neri wrote. "Lagay ka konting makeup, para pampa-fresh lang at di masyadong halata na umiyak ka," she added.
3. Be...nice.
After crying and composing yourself, act like everything is fine. Clean the home, cook your boyfriend or husband's favorite food, and serve it to him with a smile, as you ask about his day. "Trust me, siya ang magiging hindi comfortable kapag super nice ka," Neri said.
"Alas ng tao ang pagiging mabait. Malayo ang mararating mo kapag mabait sa kapwa tao mo. Lokohin ka man nila, ang importante hindi ikaw yung nagloko at hindi ka gumanti," Neri stressed.
Neri gave herself a confidence boost by taking classes, studied languages, and bought books to read (yes, like self-improvement books).
Learning kept her busy and helped with her self-esteem. "Kapag maraming laman ang utak mo, iba yung confidence mo, iba ang aura mo, iba ang tindig mo," Neri said. "Tapos makikita na niya ulit kung gaano ka kaganda, kabait, kaalaga, kung gaano siya kaswerte kase ikaw ang girlfriend o asawa niya," she added.
Neri said it did come to a point when she couldn't go on with her martyr ways ("Ilang years din ako nagpaka-martyr") and decided to break it off with Chito. "Kung lahat na ay ginawa mo, minahal mo, inalagaan mo, nirespeto mo pero niloloko ka pa rin, at ang masama pa nito ay kung sinasaktan ka na niya physically, di na tama yun," Neri wrote. "Di ko na kailangang sabihin sa 'yo na 'tama na.' Mahalin mo na ang sarili mo."
If your boyfriend or husband doesn't see your worth, it’s time to move on, Neri said.
"Kapag mawala ang respeto sa isa’t isa, ano pa ba ang silbi kung bakit pa kayo nagsasama? Kapag wala na ang respeto, nawawala na rin ang pagmamahal.
"Hindi ko rin siya sinabihan na magbago siya dahil kami na o yung mga linya ng iba na, 'kung talagang mahal mo ako, magbabago ka na.' No, never kong sinabi yun sa kanya. Pero di ko rin naman maikakaila na umasa ako na magbabago siya kung talagang mahal niya ako."
* This article was updated on May 23, 2018 at 10:30 a.m. to correct the statement attributed to Ms. Neri Miranda.
This story originally appeared on Smartparenting.com.ph.
* Minor edits have been made by the Femalenetwork.com editors.
