My ex-boyfriend and I had been together for almost seven years. We became a couple back when we were in college. Baby pa kami pareho noon. I'm 26 now and I'm a third year law student. He currently works for one of the top companies here in the Philippines.

Hindi kami nagsawa sa isa't-isa but it just happened na naging comfortable kami sa relationship namin. We broke up pero we're still very much open about getting back together. Sa ngayon we're "dating" others. I know it's bad kasi ang dating is we're playing with other people's feelings. I didn't really like the idea so I stopped.

I wanted him back, but he told me frankly that he's still enjoying what he's doing right now. Ang reason niya is gusto niya makipag-gaguhan while he's "single." Because when he comes back to me, he wants to be the best version of himself.

Like my reason, bata pa din kasi siya noong naging kami. Ngayon niya lang nagagawa yung mga bagay na ganito kasi technically, he's off the hook. Pero I admit I'm hurt sa mga ginagawa niyang gestures sa ibang babae. Madami siyang dine-date but there's just one girl na "mainstream." She kind of believes that they're in a relationship. Of course I freaked out at first and I was very angry but napagkasunduan kasi namin to eh.

He explained to me that he picked someone not pretty, not smart and someone na madaming bisyo para maging assured pa din ako sa relationship namin. Hindi ako naninira, but the girl isn't really the type a guy wants to be serious with. Part of me is regretting my decision to agree with him pero ayoko siya sakalin or anything.

I know I'm desperate or crazy, but I have every bit of his assurance kasi. Bago ko siya maging boyfriend, best friends kami ng ilang taon and he still is up to this very day. Kilalang-kilala ko siya. Even if he's playing around, it's still me he only kisses on the lips. And what others do as a couple, sa amin lang yun.

I know he's telling the truth dahil hindi naman siya ganung klaseng lalaki. He really avoids taking the girl to places where he could be put in a situation na wala siyang lalabasan. (Ex: movie house, dinner dates, inuman, and places similar to those) For my birthday, he bought me something that just cost him an arm and a leg.

Also, it's still me he takes to their family dinners and as a matter of fact both our sides of the family don't have an idea that we even "broke up." Because once they find this out, especially sa side ko, masisira talaga boyfriend ko, right? There's no way they would approve of him again.

Hindi din ako nagbubuhat ng bangko but his family loves me so much, too. Most of our common friends know what is really going on sa amin, and all they can say is my boyfriend is such an ass for playing around, and I'm crazy to even allow him to do those.

I know immature kami pareho. Pero I'd like to believe na as long as alam namin pareho where we really stand, wala akong dapat ikabahala. I'm really hurt. And I know the girl thinks he's genuinely in love with her. I'm aware of the gestures he's been showing her. And totoo namang nakaka-inlove yun mga ginagawa niya. Also the girl keeps asking his friends (some of them are even my friends) kung wala na ba talaga kami. I've been told she's insecure daw sakin maybe part of it is because I'm a future lawyer and wala akong bisyo.

Basically everything she's not daw. Nagtataka na din siya bakit hindi pa siya pinapakilala sa parents ng boyfriend ko, bakit sa Facebook hindi pa din daw siya nagbubura ng pics namin and bakit hanggang sa Instagram lang daw merong pics "nila" (my BF has 50 followers lang. He doesn’t follow his and my family and 80 percent dun alam yun totoong nangyayari).

Naaawa ako sa totoo lang. Pero ang paulit-ulit na sinasabi sakin ng boyfriend ko, everything he's doing now will eventually have a benefit sa amin when we finally get back together.

Can any of you ladies tell me ano kayang mga benefit yun?

Dahil gulong-gulo talaga ako. We plan to get married when we're 30. And of course I don't know the details, but he wishes to propose when we're 27 or 28. That's a year or two from now. Of course, I don't want him to play around for that long. Pero I don't really know.

He wants to do all the kagaguhan right now because as soon as we're engaged na daw, it's gonna be a different level–super serious na daw.

I think he's selfish and he's a coward but I love him so much.

I forgot to mention, he likes doing this daw dahil sa "excitement." Lahat ng flirting, sweet talking and yung effort ng mga babae sa kanya. Ine-enjoy niya. Not that hindi daw siya excited sakin at hindi siya ma-flirt with me pero gusto niya lang daw niya talaga tingnan kung paano yung ibang girls.

As posted on GIRLTalk

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*Minor edits have been made by the editors

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PHOTO: Flickr Creative Commons/fihu

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