But how exactly do you urge him to pop the question, short of gathering up your girlfriends and dancing to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" in front of him? And with so many guys phobic of commitment, how do you gently push him in that direction without having him running for the hills? Check out our dos and don’ts that might just lead you closer to that long awaited “I do.”
Click on a link below to go directly to the tip you want to read about or simply read on to learn about them all!
- Nudge, don’t shove
- Show him you’re a good catch
- Merge your social lives
- Focus forward
- Give him every opportunity
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NUDGE, DON’T SHOVE
DO let him call the shots. Your guy needs to feel that it’s his decision too. After all, getting married is a serious lifetime commitment. It’s not enough if only you are ready for it; he has to be ready as well. Your guy shouldn’t think that he’s just forced to get married just to get it over with.
DON’T use the M word too much. Talking about marriage nonstop may result in allergic weddingitis in your boyfriend instead of making him warm up to the idea. There’s a line between letting him know how you feel and nagging. If you find yourself thinking more about it lately, share your feelings to your guy without making him feel cornered by giving him time to think about it as well.
This article from Cosmopolitan.com shares that you’re likely to get more impatient if you keep your wedding thoughts to yourself. Find the perfect time (talking about marriage when you’ve only been dating for a couple of months will likely creep him out, for example) and the perfect place (bringing it up at another person’s wedding is a terrible way to pressure him), and try not to stress about it too much. If he’s the one, it’ll be worth the wait.
(Photo source: sxc.hu)
SHOW HIM YOU’RE A GOOD CATCH
DO show him what a fantastic partner you are. You love your guy to bits, and that’s why you want to spend your life with him. Make him fall in love with you more by taking an interest in his interests. Does he have a sweet tooth? Surprise him with home-baked goodies when he’s stressed at work. Is he an avid cinephile? Look for that hard-to-find director’s cut DVD of a movie that he’s been raving about. If he’s undergoing tough times, make sure that you take the time to encourage him and remind him how awesome he is. He’ll be a fool to let you go.
DON’T brag about how you’re the perfect girl for him. Constantly reminding him, his friends, and relatives about how you’re his other half can be a major turn-off. Your love should be apparent in how you two treat and relate with each other. Remember, actions speak louder than words.
BEFRIEND HIS FRIENDS
DO make an effort to get to know his friends and family and let them get comfortable with you. These people know your guy well, and they can help you understand him better. More than that, they play a big role in his life, and their opinions matter—they may even influence him about the women he picks (i.e., you) so it's a good idea to make nice.
DON’T lock him away from the world. You might be the love of his life, but he needs to have a social life too. Try not to think of his friends as rivals for his attention, because they’re really not. In this article on Cosmopolitan.com, one guy shares that his girlfriend never made him feel bad during his night out with friends, and it led him to fall in love with her more.
DO encourage your guy to look ahead, not just relationship-wise, but also career-wise. Getting married requires a lot of planning, especially in terms of financials. Let him use that as his motivation to go up the career ladder. Remember not to nag, but to cheer him on; after all, this will affect your future as a couple.
DON’T coddle him too much. We’ve heard too many horror stories of Peter Pan boyfriends, and yours doesn’t need to be one of them. After all, your guy needs to be independent in order to be a good family man. Be the first to encourage him to look for a long-term job or to start saving up for the future.
GIVE HIM EVERY OPPORTUNITY
DO give him a chance to pop the question. Prepare the perfect setting by planning romantic getaways for you two. For all you know, he’s just waiting for that fairytale moment to propose.
DON’T rush it. If a slight hint about marriage makes him feel awkward, then maybe he’s not ready for it yet. As we've already mentioned, give him some time to mull over it as well. Maybe it is too early to consider marriage, when there’s so much more to discover about each other. Let your relationship run on its own course for a while. For all you know, wedding bells might be just around the corner.
(Photo source: sxc.hu)
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