While they say that the past has passed, there are people who keep coming back–like your partner’s ex. It could be through seemingly friendly text messages, “accidentally” bumping into him at the grocery, or downright flirting with him even when the ex knows he’s already committed to you. So, instead of getting angry, learn how to deal with the other woman the right (and civilized) way. Here’s how:

Be polite and keep your distance
…especially if they have a kid together. “Don’t try to replace her, and leave the heavy lifting–discipline, money issues regarding the kids–to him, so you don’t come into conflict with her,” says April Masini, a relationship expert and author of Think and Date Like a Man. Always opt to take the high road. Just be there to support his decisions and never try to come in between the kid and the mother. You could voice out your opinion nicely or when he asks for it so you two don’t end up arguing.

Have a good talk with him.
It would be a little difficult if your man and his ex are friends, and are constantly talking to each other. If it makes you uncomfortable, have a serious talk with him and tell him how you really feel about the situation. Communication is important when it comes to relationships, and keeping all your feelings bottled up won’t do both of you any good.

Try to understand the whole situation.
Look at it at a different perspective and weigh the pros and cons. Masini suggests you see how involved your man is with his. This will help you gauge how ready he is for a relationship with you. You wouldn't want to end up being just a rebound, right? If you think that he’s still hung up on his ex to the point that it’s okay with him to have late night chats and group hang outs every weekend with her, then maybe it’s time to rethink if you two should be together. Remember, never settle with the thought that you are just second best because you definitely deserve better.

SCREENCAP: Starting Over Again/Star Cinema (2014)