Before you walk down the aisle and sign up for a lifetime commitment with your man, answer the questions below truthfully.
1. Does this relationship bring out the best of me or does it limit my potential?
Are you or your man the type to encourage each other to aim higher or do either of you get intimidated by each other’s victories?
2. Do we really accept one another, no ifs and buts?
Nobody is perfect. There will always be something that you’d like to change in a person, but you should not feel like you need to act like someone else or fine-tune your real self to be accepted. You should both see each other as a unique and special persons. Getting married with the hope that the other will change is never a good idea.
3. Who am I?
Do you really know who you are and what you want? How can you confirm that you and your partner are a perfect match if you do not know who you really are?
4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?
When you and your man always fight, it may be a good idea to seek counseling or re-evaluate the relationship. Don't stay just because you want to find someone who will complete you. No one else can complete yourself but YOU.
5. Do I feel trapped?
If you’re getting married just because you’ve already invested X amount of years in him, then you’re asking for trouble. You’re being unfair to yourself and your fiancé.
6. Am I doing anything that may hold the relationship back?
Learn to treat your partner as your life partner, and not just someone whom you can dump your stress, disappointment and BVs on. Be more thoughtful and understanding, which leads us to the next question…
7. Is this relationship balanced?
Does he always have the upper hand or are you always bossing him around? The two of you must learn to compromise and be on the same page in terms of support and sacrifice.
8. Can we have fun together?
Besides the sex (which should be fun), can the two of you genuinely find enjoyment in simple conversations and activities?
9. Can we have fun apart?
You’re still an individual, and not an extension of your man.
10. Why am I in this relationship?
Is it because you love, respect, trust, and value your partner? Or are you in it because of financial security or because you’re scared to leave and grow old alone?
11. Where is this going?
Besides taking the big leap of marriage, are there other plans you have in the pipeline?
12. Do I really trust my partner?
If you paused or even hesitated to answer this question for a second, you should take a few moments to examine your response. Ask yourself how you can rebuild or strengthen the trust in your relationship.
13. Am I with a good person?
Are you willing to stand up for him? Is he the type who won't bring trouble--the sort that your morals can't and won't defend?
14. Am I attracted to my partner?
Attraction is an important factor to keep the flame alive. While you may love him, it’s hard to be with someone you don’t really like. Maybe you’re staying because it feels comfortable or because it’s what society expects of you.
15. Am I a parent or a partner?
When you feel like you're raising a toddler trapped in an adult’s body, however, you may get emotionally (and physically) burned out fast.
16. Are we a team?
Do you support one another in any endeavor? Your mate shouldn’t make you feel like he'll be thrown under the bus once things get rocky. You must have each other’s back.
17. Are we on the same page and looking in the same direction?
Touchy topics like religion, babies, in-laws, and finances should never be avoided because they won't work themselves out. To avoid painful arguments and disappointments in the future, discuss these thoroughly before getting married.
18. Are we growing together?
Are you two changing for the better? Have you both evolved as a couple and invidually?
19. Am I still me?
Do I still recognize myself? Does he really love me for who I am, and not just someone whom he molded to be fit as his perfect mate?
20. What is my gut telling me?
If there is even a teeny tiny speck of doubt, you should always listen to your intuition.