Your husband reeks of a woman's perfume that's certainly not one that's yours. There's a trace of lipstick on his collar, a series of suspiciously secretive text messages, and suddenly, an onslaught of late-night meetings--you're not a jealous person by nature, but you can't seem to shake the feeling that something iffy is going on in your relationship. It's that feeling in your gut that your man is not being completely honest with you.

Still, and most of us are guilty of this, you don't want to believe it. After all, without tangible evidence, how can you really tell whether your man is being unfaithful or not? To help you get a better idea, here are a few red flags to watch out for.

(First published as "I Think My Husband is Cheating on Me" in the Marriage Matters section of Good Housekeeping Philippines' March 2002 issue. Adapted for use in Female Network. Screencap from Grey's Anatomy courtesy of ABC.)


Men are not naturally monogamous—many psychologists and marriage counsellors have said as much, and a wife who knows this is a wise woman indeed. This, of course, is not to condone infidelity. Many societies may accept men having more than one wife, but in this part of the world we at least pay lip service against the idea.

This has not stopped many Pinoys from straying: Mang Pablo at the corner store is an infamous babaero, as his raging wife would tell anyone who cares to listen. Perhaps your own father or a tito was once guilty of an indiscretion, and you often wonder why your mother or tita stuck it out with him. Many showbiz marriages have crumbled before our eyes because a sexy starlet or two had caught Mr. Matinee Idol’s attention. We have even had a president both admired and condemned for his “macho” ways.

Yes, it’s easy enough to hear about all these, then throw up our hands in mock despair and exclaim that men are dogs. But many women never really believe that their own mates will cheat on them. Apart from being presented with undeniable proof, how then can women find out whether their husbands are cheating on them or not? Below is a check list that may support what you may already suspect.

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