The facts are these: You've been talking to each other for weeks, months, and even years. Your friends ask both of you whenever the other person doesn't show up—like you're the default person accountable for each other. The possibility of going official with him is almost within your reach. Almost. Until one day, he decides to stop talking to you, stop responding to your messages, stop answering your calls—until he decides to turn into a ghost and evaporate out of your life.
You're devastated and left with a thousand questions about where you went wrong. Until you realize that you have one choice left: To move on and get on with your life. So how do you do it? Where do you start when you haven't even dated the person officially, when technically there was nothing between the two of you to break? Here's a list to help you pick up the pieces. Good luck.
1. Accept that it was a breakup.
You've never been official and were never really boyfriend-girlfriend, but you were left alone. He left you on your own. That's a breakup. Breakups aren't exclusive to those who are boyfriend-girlfriend. Breakups include falling out in all types and kinds of relationships.
2. Allow yourself to be sad, but give yourself a deadline.
Go and wallow in your bed as much as you need. Cry until your eyes hurt, until there are no more tears left inside of you. But remember that after crying your heart out, you have to choose to be okay. You can't be miserable forever.
3. Stay offline for a little while.
Avoid saying cryptic things online and sharing all your bad vibrations to the world. We get it, you're sad. But that's not a good enough reason to rain on anyone else's parade. Learn to hold your own hand, pat yourself in the back, and make yourself smile eventually. This sadness is temporary, but the things you put online will be there forever (remember archives?).
4. Go out and have fun.
Party with your friends. Go to your favorite artist's gig. Watch a movie with your family. Cook a great meal for your brothers. The best way to find happiness is to see other people find theirs. Ask your loved ones what they'd want to do, and be there for them while they're doing it. Trust us, that will make you feel loads better.
5. Remind yourself that nothing is wrong with you.
There are just moments in life when you can't force anything into anybody if they're not ready for it, and that doesn't mean you're not enough. It just means that timing wasn't on your side and he's not ready yet. So stop blaming yourself, girl, and cheer up. No matter how ready you may be for a real relationship, if he just doesn't want to get into one with you, the situation between the two of you won't change.
6. Block him, unfriend him.
Don't torture yourself by stalking him and overthinking all of his posts, trying to find yourself in the teeny details of his life updates. He doesn't care. If he did care about you, he'd coming running back to you and say sorry for hurting you. But he didn't. You can spend every moment of your life stalking him and his new girl-of-the-moment, but nothing will change. So stop wasting your time over something sad, and use it to make yourself happier.
7. Remember that the best kind of revenge is being happy.
Nothing irritates the people who hurt you more than the fact that you're doing fine and great even if they've done everything in their power to break you. There will be moments when you'll find yourself crying over what you've lost again, but you'll make it through, don't worry. Just try your best to live your life, to cherish each moment and soon you'll find yourself with a light and full heart again.
This story originally appeared on Candymag.com.
*Minor edits have been made by the Femalenetwork.com editors.
PHOTO: Flickr Creative Commons/Luigi Morante
