While celebrity wedding SDEs and rom-coms always get you excited about meeting the one, you should be prepared. Love is more than just roses and celebrating cute milestones. It may seem easy to an outsider, but it takes a lot for love to blossom into a healthy relationship - being in a committed relationship means agreeing to rolling up your sleeves and getting to work. So take off those rose-tinted glasses and throw out these myths that trap your expectations:
1. You need someone to make you feel complete.
There is no one who can make you feel complete other than yourself. Sure, it's necessary to maintain healthy relationships, but you shouldn't rely on them for your sense of worth. You are responsible for making yourself feel whole, and no one – no matter how kind or perfect your partner is – should ever be responsible for completing you. Before you even jump into a relationship, you have to really love your partner enough to share with him the best of who you are, and not to burden them with what you feel is missing in you.
2. Love can change a person.
It can – if the person decides to change for himself. But if you think that you can rehabilitate your man just because you love him, then you may need to reevaluate why you’re together in the first place. Love can only go so far in helping another person be the best version of himself. The rest is up to him.
3. If it’s true love, it will last forever.
People come and go, but sometimes, someone chooses to stay and be with you. This chance meeting may spell forever, but it can also be less permanent. Breakups happen, but that doesn’t mean that what you had wasn’t true love. Separation does not diminish the worth of your experiences together. Maybe you outgrew each other, or maybe you just stopped wanting the same things. At the very least, you can learn how to handle heatbreak maturely and responsibly.
4. Jealousy is a way to express love.
Everyone can be bitten by the green-eyed monster at some point, and it can even be something to laugh about. However, jealousy is not a sign of love: trust is. Good relationships are built on trust, not on suspicions. Moreover, when jealousy happens too often to the point that one party is trying to control the actions of another, then this may a warning that the relationship is emotionally abusive.
5. Love is easy.
It seems easy, because those who are in good relationships are happily making them work – but “work” is actually the key word in making things seem effortless. Love is a daily decision. You wake up every day and decide that yes, you will love your partner and that you will do your part in sustaining a good relationship. There will be a lot of easy days if you're doing it right, but some days you have to dig deeper than usual to remind yourself of why you're together and that's okay - for as long as you can still come up with answers.
6. All you need is love.
Sorry, Paul McCartney, but love isn’t all that you need. The “as long as we have each other” notion partnered with the "you and me against the world" mantra is something that hopeless romantics should do away with because many relationships have been ruined by the belief that love will find a way. Newsflash: love won’t find a way because that’s your job. As previously mentioned, love is about constantly making things work, and that includes making sure that both of you are independent adults who bring something to the table. As your wise Tita has probably said, “hindi nakakain ang love.”