If you're not a natural, flirting can be such a hassle–yeah, we said it. But once you get the hang of it, it can actually be fun and entertaining. All you need to do is practice, and to remember not to overdo it.
Flirting, as you might expect, requires a lot of improvisation, and it's hard not to feel pressured when you just want to skip ahead to the comfortable silence. But once you do muster up the courage to initiate a conversation, here are a few tips if you want a subtle way to show your interest in someone:
1. Wear something red.
When you and your BFFs decide to go on a girls’ night out, opt to wear something red. It’s traditionally known as a powerful color linked to strength, competitive dominance, energy, vitality, and high status – plus, men find women who wear this particular color a lot sexier.
According to a study recently published in the European Journal of Psychology, researchers at the University of Rochester found that men who were shown pictures of a woman in a red dress were more likely to ask her amorous questions compared to women they saw in a different dress color.
2. Show a sincere smile.
Smiling can be one of the simplest gestures yet sometimes, it’s taken for granted. When you smile, men see you as more approachable; it’s a subtle way to invite conversation without having to get out of your seat.
“A real-life smile, not a colon and a parentheses, will go a long way in keeping your outlook positive, and it can have the ripple effect on the people around you,” says YourTango dating coach Dina Colada so, don’t be afraid to show off your pearly whites!
3. Give him a compliment or two.
Guys just love hearing compliments – especially if they came from a woman. It makes them look sexy without having to try too hard.
“Complimenting a guy is a great way to flirt without giving up your power,” says Carole Lieberman, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets.
She also adds that complimenting someone else shows how confident you feel about yourself. “This not only makes the guy feel less threatened by you, but your apparent self-confidence also makes you more attractive.”
4. Make eye contact.
How would you grab someone’s attention if you’re in a public place like a restaurant or a coffee shop? By making eye contact, of course – just avoid staring too much since that’ll come off as a bit creepy.
“Making eye contact and holding it just a few seconds longer than a casual glance causes him to take notice of you and start to wonder what you may have meant by that,” says Lieberman. “It’s the cool ‘silent flirt’ that can make him want to know more.”
A study also suggests that maintaining eye contact with someone for two minutes can stir up passionate feelings for each other.
5. Have a meaningful conversation.
Not all encounters with the opposite sex should focus on light banter. Try to build good connections first and see where that direction leads you. Some guys may find smart women intimidating, but it’ll be better to meet a man who can handle everything about you rather than settling for a boy who doesn’t even know what he wants in life.
Start by asking light questions first so he won’t get caught off guard. Also, be mindful of your body language while talking, says relationship expert Rachel DeAlto, “Pay attention to how you present yourself. No hands across the chest, and face him with your shoulders squared.”