1. Self-pity and the reminiscing of happy and harsh memories via Taylor Swift songs. "There is a Swiftie song for any type of breakup. I hate men. Ugh."
2. Research a.k.a. stalking his social media accounts. "Why is he happy? He's such a douche."
3. You've either lost your appetite or a tub of chocolate ice cream with chunks of cookie dough becomes your constant companion. "Ice cream loves me. Ice cream cares."
4. You tell your friends about the awful breakup over and over and over. Your 'recent' breakup has been your barkada's flashing headline for weeks.
"Why does it have to hurt so bad?"
5. They tell you every piece of advice the Universe has to offer: those you need to hear (tough love) and encouraging words of love and support. "Girl, trust the process."
6. You get a new haircut to feel brand new. "Chop it all off!"
7. You probably lost weight because #BalikAlindog! "My market value should not depreciate."
8.You're all over social media. "Please look at this photo of me hanging out with my friends. I am happy and soooo busy living the life!"
9. But just when you thought you were okay, you relapse. "I miss you, Ralph. Why did we end things?"
10. And then you snap out of it and remember that he was an awful boyfriend. "Oh dear, no. Not going back to hell."
11. Number nine and ten happen for a few times. "I'm back to square one. Friends, help me!"
12. You take up a new hobby. "I think I need to learn French because Paris awaits!"
13. You notice you haven't played your Swiftie playlist for a long time. "I had so many feelings back then. Jeez."
14. Looking back, you see the bigger picture. "Maybe we weren't meant to be together."
15. You don't feel as pressured to be happy or to change as you did post-breakup. You just feel contented. "I guess this is what peace feels like."
16. When friends tease you about getting back together with him, you go LOL. "Hilarious, guys! Hahaha!"
17. And you know it deep in your heart. You're over him.
SCREENSHOT: Saturday Night Live/NBC; PHOTO: GIFS: Giphy.com
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