They say that women reach maturity in their 30s, here are subtle signs that you finally reach your peak.

1. You say “no” more often and don’t feel guilty about it. 

From an unpaid overtime to a dinner invitation you just don’t feel like going to, you have no trouble declining it compared to your younger self. You know that what comes first is YOU. You don’t have to say “yes” just to please someone else—the only one you know who deserves all that pleasing is yourself.

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2. You acknowledge your faults and do something about them.

You know that it’s you who did wrong and acknowledge that the problem actually came from you. You apologize, think thoroughly about what you did, and make an effort to do something different about it moving forward.

3. You’re not so hard on yourself anymore.

You don’t pressure yourself to be productive and perfect all the time anymore. You unabashedly take a day off and do absolutely nothing and not feel like you’re being useless at all. Relationship-wise, you finally stopped blaming yourself for something that failed—because really, it’s not your fault, you did your best, and most of the time, life’s, well, just like that.

4. You know your worth and won’t settle for less.

You finally know how to love yourself. And with that self-love, you now realize how you wanted and deserved to be loved. You don’t accept the bare minimum anymore because you know that you’re worth more than that. It’s either they give you the same energy or they’ll get nothing from you.

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5. You choose your battles wisely.

You don’t let your emotions dictate your actions anymore. Before speaking or doing something, you first evaluate the consequences and weigh if it’s worth your time and energy. If it’s not big of a deal and won’t greatly affect you or your loved ones, you breathe, and just let it slide.

6. You don’t waste time on things you know won’t last.

You spend those precious hours with who and what truly makes you happy: people who genuinely care about you, a job that appreciates you, a passion project you’ve been wanting to start, and more. If you know that what (or who) you’re getting into is not worth it, there’s no point in exerting that much effort anymore. Long-term benefits are more important than instant gratification.

7. You know that it’s okay not to care so much.

A lot of things used to stress you out way back then, and there’s nothing wrong about it because it just means you are affected because you care about it. But through the years, you learned to let some things go and to just, trust the process.

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8. You accept that you don’t know everything and that you can always ask for help.

Some people (even those younger than you) know more things than you do, and that’s alright. You’re willing to listen to them, ask them questions, and discover new things. You know that there’s always room to grow and improve.

9. You can have fun even by yourself.

You don’t rely on anyone for your happiness. You accept, like, and love yourself. You don’t need someone else to “complete” you—heck, you are not “incomplete” in the first place.

10. You’re more grateful.

You look at life in a bigger picture and realize how good you have it, compared to others. You are grateful for both the little and big things that come into your life. And if your expectations weren’t met, you are still thankful and grateful for the lessons you learned along the way.

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