There are useless exercise machines
and there are useless exercise machines—the latter being those we bought, used enthusiastically for the first few weeks, and gradually ditched for junk food. Now if our treadmills and stationary bikes could talk (and if they watch a lot of Disney movies), here are a couple of things they would probably say:


1. There may be something that there wasn’t there before – Mrs. Potts, Beauty and the Beast
(That would be the extra five pounds. Sorry.)

2. Sometimes, the right path is not the easiest one. – Grandma Willow, Pocahontas
(The right path meaning sticking to my workout, right?)

3. Even miracles take a little time. – Fairy Godmother, Cinderella
(Is losing a few inches off my waist too much to ask?!)

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4. A single grain of rice can tip a scale. – The Emperor of China, Mulan
(Geez, okay! I’ll lay off the rice for a while.)

5. You’ve never had a friend like me! – Genie, Aladdin
(A friend who makes me feel guilty about not working out…)

6. Always let your conscience be your guide. – The Blue Fairy, Pinnochio
(Okay, okay! I confess to eating that fried fudgie bar… and those doughnuts.)

7. The human world… It’s a mess! – Sebastian, The Little Mermaid

8. Giving up is for rookies! – Phil, Hercules
(I’m not a quitter! Give me 30 minutes on the treadmill!)

9. If you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true. Cinderella, Cinderella
(I believe that I can drop down a size or two in the next few weeks.)

10. If you wanna be a human, the first thing you gotta do is dress like one. – Scuttle, The Little Mermaid
(Ouch. Don’t insult my baggy shirt and jeans!)

(Photo by janeyesee via Flickr Creative Commons)


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