Remember when you were in your early twenties and you felt that you were overweight when in fact you weren’t? I used to be like that. I thought that I wasn’t as skinny as I wanted to be because I was five-foot-three and back then my weight would move between 118 and 122 pounds. I was so silly, it’s almost funny if it weren’t for the fact that this marked the start of an unhealthy mindset.

I used to be vain in the sense that I was proud of what my body could do, and I felt that it would work better if I could shed more weight. It never occurred to me that I only exercised because I didn’t feel marketable. I wasn’t doing it to be healthy. I was actually only jealous about how pretty and sexy my peers looked. I didn’t realize that I’ve already become one of the many women who set impossible beauty standards for themselves, and I always felt that I lacked something because I thought that wasn’t beautiful or skinny enough.

So you can just imagine how I felt when I gained a bit of weight in my late twenties and found out that I put on 20 pounds when I was in my thirties. I felt absolutely horrible and I hated myself because I allowed it to happen. My pride was severely bruised, especially since I would run, lift, and even do mixed martial arts regularly. I felt that I failed myself because I couldn’t stick to diets and I hated by body because it wasn’t metabolizing as fast as I wanted it to. It came to a point when I would cry myself to sleep thinking about how I lost my physical edge and how pudgy I am, while those around me looked slim and wonderful.

When I was in my lowest of lows (I had already started feeling guilty about eating, which I was still logical enough to recognize as a red flag), I called a friend to vent. After a pretty long tirade, the answer I got was simple:

Overweight ka, hindi ka pangit. At hindi mababago ng weight mo ang pagkatao mo.”

Natigilan ako
because I knew it was true. Being overweight doesn’t make me or anyone else less of a person. I kept on trying to convince myself that I wanted to be fit because I wanted to run farther, lift heavier, and kick higher, but in fact, I was just a vain woman who wanted to be physically appealing. I never focused on the right stuff, such as health and self-love. I had forgotten how to be grateful for what I had – a fully-functioning body that continues to keep me upright and allows me to do all the things that I want to do.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
CONTINUE READING BELOW
Recommended Videos


READ: 14 Ways to Love Yourself


I weighed myself earlier today, and the scale read the same. But you know what? It is what it is. Losing fat and building muscle will take time. Now, when I run, I focus on how good it feels. When I do MMA, I exalt the fact that my body can instinctively duck, throw a punch, and grapple with no issue. I may be overweight, but I’m doing my best to be healthy because I am slowly re-learning that loving myself meant taking care of my body not because I wanted to look pretty, but because I wanted to be strong.

Your weight does not define you. What defines you is your desire to be better and your drive to be healthier. So forget about vanity – that’s one of the voices in your head that you need to shut down. What’s important is to accept every inch, every curve, and every stretchmark as a part of you, and to love yourself enough to recognize that there's always room for improvement.

After all, girl, hindi ka pangit.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
Get the latest updates from Female Network
Subscribe to our Newsletter!
Comments
Trending on Network

Latest Stories

This Skincare Brand Uses Natural Ingredients To Keep Up With Your 30s Skin

If you're new to natural, we'll give you a rundown on the ingredients you need to try.

This Pinay Executive Shares the Career Lessons That Brought Her to the Top

AXA Philippines Chief of Commercial Business believes that women and mothers have an advantage in the workforce.
Load More Stories