Insecurity can take over the best of us. Sometimes, it whispers over your shoulder when you look at yourself in the mirror. It can also creep up on you when you meet a former classmate who’s doing much better in life than you. It rears its ugly head during the worst of moments, making you feel that you either have to put on false bravado, or overcompensate for something that you think you don’t have.
You may have flaws and inadequacies, but the truth is that everybody has them. It’s all just a matter of how you push yourself beyond feelings of self-doubt. If you at any point feel that you are ugly, lacking, or simply not good enough, try to do the following:
1. Take a long, good look at yourself.
Look at yourself in the mirror, focus on everything from your eyes to your toes, and ask yourself: Are you really that bad? Do you really look as unappealing as you think you are? Real talk: You're NOT. You're GREAT.
Those thighs which you think are 'too big?' They can walk and run long distances. You may have a huge scar somewhere, but such marks have their own backstories which make you the person that you are now. You’re awesome the way you are, and you don’t need to conform to other people’s definition of “sexy” and “beautiful,” because you are your own version of fabulous.
2. Pinpoint what’s threatening you.
Insecurities can be brought about by things that make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin or your current situation. The key is to learn how to face and overcome them. As Beverly D. Flaxington, author of Make Your SHIFT: The Five Most Powerful Moves You Can Make to Get Where YOU Want to Go, said on Psychology Daily: “Stressors adversely impacting your self-esteem and triggering insecurities are countless and ubiquitous, and because you cannot avoid them altogether, you need to learn how to negate them.”
Take time to think about why you’re not feeling good about yourself. Once you identify the source, you’ll be able to address it.
3. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
As the saying goes, “the grass is greener on the other side.” You will always find somebody better than you in certain ways, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t great in your own right. So what if your college batchmates seem to be in higher paying jobs than you are? People have their own paths to follow, and yours is no less special or important than theirs.
4. Focus on what you have.
There’s so much good going on in your life that you’re probably not acknowledging. Turn towards those little victories that you achieve, that small sources of happiness that you have, and the quiet moments that not everyone gets to enjoy. If you take time to write each thing that you can be grateful about every day, you’ll find that you have more than most, and that there’s no room for feelings of inadequacy.
5. Remember that you’re more than enough.
You are your biggest bully. Instead of listening to those self-degrading voice in your head, counter them with all the good that you’ve done and are still doing in your life. You’re always better than you think you are, and if you manage to harness that postive power, you’ll achieve things that will impress others, as well as yourself.