Author Topic: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?  (Read 122668 times)

three8one

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #540 on: March 04, 2019, 03:42:44 pm »
wala pa naman, so far mababait sila sakin.
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symphonyann

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #541 on: April 25, 2019, 02:24:35 pm »
rare naman, pero ang kinaiinis ko lang eh kapag may bigla silang ginagawa kay baby na hindi muna tinatanong sa akin o sa asawa ko.

px17

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #542 on: April 25, 2019, 04:52:36 pm »
Hindi pa naman asawa, nakakainis lang ng bongga.  My bf informed me that they will be having a family picture/pictorial requested by her tita from US. He showed me a chat message of her tita who's inviting me to join them since I'm practically a family na din daw. When I saw the dates it is our out of trip with friends that we planned 7 months ago. So ako sabi ko agad sakanya "Trip natin yan! sinabi mo agad na sasama ako, eh wala tayo niyan" tapos nagulat siya and said sorry. He knows that may trip kami na mixed-up niya lang [textspeak!] date. Since sakto nasa house nila kami, he told his mom na hindi siya makakasama kasi may trip kami sa Siargao kami. Then his mom asked gaano kami katagal nung sinabi niya na 5 days. Sabi agad ni mom "ay mahaba naman na masyado yun umuwi nalang kayo" so ako nairita. Sa isip ko lang "No hindi ako uuwi for that! hindi naman importante?!"

nung kami nalang ni bf sabi ko sakanya bakit kailangan umuwi? hindi naman kayo kumpleto wala nga mga ibang pinsan mo. Then nagchat na si bf kay tita niya na he will not be there. Si tita naman ang dami ng tanong kung kami lang ba, sino kasama ,Imove nlang [textspeak!] trip, sama nalang kami sa trip nung daughter niya (na uuwi rin). Which really did irks me! Tapos yung chat niya parang kinokonsensya na na niya si bf like may words pa na "Malakas naman ako sainyo diba?" Little background close talaga sila ng tita niya. His tita is nice naman sakin ever since pa. Then his parent's called him saying na hindi papayag tita niya na wala siya sa pictorial kaya si bf naipit na he decided to booked a day earlier para makauwi. I don't know kung selfish ako pero nainis lang talaga ako.
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crzysxycl

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #543 on: April 25, 2019, 07:12:14 pm »
Yes. Ngayon kasi linggo linggo nanaman sila sa amin naglalunch. Buti kung isang tao lang eh kaso buong pamilya. Hindi tinatablan ng hiya mga to.

thebratinella

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #544 on: April 25, 2019, 10:45:41 pm »
^^ similar diyan yung mga ginagawa ng mother-in-law ko dati. kahit may lakad kami ng husband ko lalambingin/guilt trip/convince niya husband ko na umuwi kami sa province nila with her kesyo miss na daw ng mga tito niya husband ko etc. si sister-in-law naman pag walang makuhang driver, si hubby ang kakausapin para pagdrive sila. hindi naisip na may own family na and dapat kayanin na nila on their own. good luck sa iyo, sis kapag married na kayo and he can't say no to his mom or other family members. hubby ko nakakadecline na nowadays kasi nag-aaway kami.
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px17

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #545 on: April 26, 2019, 08:41:59 am »
^yan pinaka nabwisitan ko sis yung guilt trip. Pag nag aaway kayo sis paano? I mean okay pa din naman kayo? kasi last time sinabi ko sakanya "So paano pag kinasal na tayo ganito parin?" feeling ko kasi baka pag may sinabi pa ako ma-offend ko siya syempre family pa rin naman niya yun.
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thebratinella

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #546 on: April 26, 2019, 09:55:58 pm »
before pinag-aawayan namin talaga yung mother and sis niya pag may mga requests. kasi yung mother niya mahilig magyaya umuwi ng province nila. i have nothing against visiting their house which is an hour away from my parents' home kung saan kami nakatira. ang ayaw ko yung tuwing may holiday or weekend na uuwi siya sa province, si husband ang yayayain niya para nga naman may magdrive. hindi makarefuse sa kanya dati pero after 2 years, nagets ng husband ko point ko. nag-aask na siya sa akin if okay ba sumama sa kung anong lakad ng mother niya. before kasi icancel or postpone namin plan namin or adjust ng time para pagbigyan. nowadays, nakakapagdecline na si hubby kasi madalas pagod sa work or may gusto siyang gawin or puntahan. dati tuwing mag-aaway kami sinasabi ko: kami na ng anak mo ang pamilya mo ngayon. hindi na yung nanay and sister mo yung priority mo.

buhay pa father-in-law ko pero hindi kami in good terms. hindi din siya kasundo ng husband ko. since nameet ko husband ko hindi na siya sa family home nila nakatira.

weigh mo, sis. mag-observe ka and kausapin yung bf mo. mabuti pang as early as now alam mo na magiging situation if ever kayo magkatuluyan.
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Paularbear

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #547 on: May 03, 2019, 02:11:58 pm »
Ayaw sakin ng family ni husband lalo na yung parents nya. Dito kami nakatira sa bahay ng parents nya since naka based naman sila abroad. Umuuwi sila twice a year lang. Sobrang hirap makisama mga sis kahit na minsan lang sila umuwi. Yung ibang relatives ni hubs parang ayaw din sakin pero hindi naman lahat. Just a little background, I came from a broken family. Very family oriented sila husband. My parents are also based in abroad. Pati yung mga napangasawa ng mga kapatid ni husband came from a good and happy family. Minsan di maiwasan na mainggit. Ang ayos ng pakikitungo nila sa mga asawa ng mga kapatid ni husband, sakin lang hindi. Palagi akong left out, hindi belong feeling. :(

o9kristin

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #548 on: May 03, 2019, 07:03:28 pm »
Hmm. Why does your family background matter? Were you able to ask your husband bakit ganun pakikitungo sayo ng in-laws mo sis?
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Paularbear

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #549 on: May 03, 2019, 09:20:13 pm »
^ Big deal sa kanila pag broken family. Hindi daw kasi maganda upbringing usually pag broken fam. Actually sis hindi na namin pinag uusapan yung mga parinig tsaka pang babara sakin ng mom nya. Palaging ?pagpasensyahan nalang?. Ilang beses na din kami nag away dahil dito. Nag away na din sila ng mom nya before. Hindi naman na ganun kalala yung pagiging monster mom-in-law nya pero minsan pinaparamdam pa din nya sakin na hindi ako belong. For example may lakad sila pag wala si hubby hindi ako sinasama pag andito lang si hubs tsaka nila ko sinasama. Pero [textspeak!] mga asawa ng kapatid kasama din nila. Madalas pa hindi nila sinasabi sakin na aalis pala sila. After namin mag nap ng kids, pag labas namin ng room wala ng tao, nakaalis na lahat. Mga ganung scenario. Tapos pag uwi nila super kwento pa na nag pa spa sila nag dinner etc. Hindi naman sa naiinggit ako sa kung anong ginawa nila, pero parang ang sakit lang kasi feeling ko hindi ako part ng family.

khaleesiCersei

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #550 on: May 07, 2019, 12:40:55 am »
^for your own peace of mind sis at sa ikatatahimik ng buhay nyong mag asawa, sana makabukod na kayo asap. Di bale nang mag rent kesa ma drain ng negative vibes. Maabsorb pa ng mga anak nyo yan. Malas ang may mga kasamang nega sa bahay. Kung ayaw sayo ng family, dont feel bad. Not your problem. Just be civil lang. You dont have to please them or make them like you. Cut ties if you have to. Mas magiging magaan ang buhay kesa magpa apekto sa kanila.

exquisitegem

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #551 on: May 07, 2019, 05:56:57 pm »
^I agree. Leave and cleave sis.

tomatostellar

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #552 on: May 11, 2019, 12:38:45 pm »
Newly married, but we already had our first "situation".
And though, I already told him how I felt about this, nalulungkot parin ako everytime I remember it.
Eto yung kwento. Hubby is only son and has 2 sisters, one is about 11 years younger than him, but is now adult na rin, 20 y.o. ++ Long read ++
SIL and MIL live in Baliuag, Bulacan; just the 2 of them coz F-I-L is in the US.
Hubby and I live in Bacoor. Recently, SIL went to a concert in Araneta. Wala sya kasama (but I think met with other fans sa venue).
So as we know concerts usually end at around 10ish or 11pm. MIL was "kinakabahan" for SIL since she will be going home late from Cubao. MIL contacted hubby (I think morning of the concert) para sunduin si SIL, then hatid to Bulacan.
Wala kami car to do this but he agreed. Hindi ko sya sinabihan na he can't go, Eh paano kung meron nanyari kay SIL?  Still, this whole thing does not feel right for me.
Ano ba inaarte ko, di naman ako na abandon or whatever; though di ako makakasama kasi may pasok pa ko.
But I always have this feeling that his identity is more "maaasahang anak, best brother" vs. "man of our house/my betterhalf".
Yung ganon pa lang na, expected ni MIL na okay lang for him to go to Cubao, then uuwi sila sa Bulacan ng ganon lang, short notice, and as if ang lapit ng Cavite and Bulacan.

When I told him about this, wala sya sinabi but hugged me. Yun yung isa pang nagpalungkot sakin, for me that was "Sorry, I made you feel that way, pero it is what it is." -- Ewan baka interpretation ko lang yun.
 
I love that he is a loving son/brother. Pero ewan, nalulungkot pa rin ako.
I try to be mature, na isipin ko, we are now "one". And so maybe it means, mas maging tulad nya ako - be always there for family. But I still can't help how I feel.
« Last Edit: May 15, 2019, 10:18:51 am by tomatostellar »
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exquisitegem

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #553 on: May 14, 2019, 05:43:36 pm »
^Hugs sis. Your feelings are valid.
But then, try to look at it at a different perspective na lang. What if baliktad kayo, you have a younger sibling, and hindi niya gamay ang Manila, tapos uwian lang siya sa province at gagabihin sa pag uwi. For her safety, okay lang naman na magsakripisyo si hubby total family naman yun. And sayo din, extended family na sila. Siguro next time, sabihan na lang sila na kapag may ganun, sabihin beforehand. Hindi short notice.
Minsan ganon talaga, it takes a while and a lot of patience in dealing with the inlaws.
Ang mantra ko kasi, always shower them with kindness - no matter what.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2019, 11:13:37 pm by exquisitegem »

simang

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #554 on: May 15, 2019, 10:01:51 am »
^have to agree with you sis, always be the bigger person especially when it comes to in laws. If it happened to me, I'll let it slide. Ganun talaga, even if you're married, you have other roles to fulfill, and it's not like he compromised your marriage for the other. It also seems like this is a one time thing, so I don't think it should be a big deal. I'm sure your husband or your in law doesn't intend to bypass or offend you in any way.
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tomatostellar

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #555 on: May 15, 2019, 10:20:10 am »
thank you mga sis <3
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px17

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #556 on: May 15, 2019, 11:44:43 am »
@tomatostellar I think what you felt is normal. Anyways read this months ago so I'm sharing, https://www.relationshipmatters.ph/blog/leave-and-cleave/, might help you out. May comprise naman palagi so agree ako sa other sissies here wag lang siguro palapalagi.
Learn to Love yourself First! :)

baby_yummy

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #557 on: May 28, 2019, 01:21:16 am »
not really naiinis but i find them odd and pilit

My family is a bit close compared sa family ni hubby. Yung tipong nasa kabilang subdivision lang yung family ni hubby pero since January mga 4 na beses pa lang kami pumunta sa bahay ng parents niya. I understand hubby's reluctant to visit kasi everytime na pumupunta kami eh ginagawa kaming hingahan ng inis ni Nanay sa mga pasaway niyang utol.

Ok naman mga utol ni hubby may sariling family na din kaso di makatayo sa sariling paa kaya ayun nandun pa din sa in laws ko nakatira. At di din namin feel masyadong kasama gumimik kasi parang allergic maglabas ng pera. One time lumabas kami at kumain sa labas nanlibre yung utol niya pero yung family lang nya ang binayaran lol kaya bumili ako ng mas mahal na pagkain di ko din sila binigyan... :P

I just feel a bit odd na minsan magaaya to go on lunch or dinner para lang makapagpapicture na close kami pero sa totoo lang medyo hinde.  One time nagvisit kami to get dinner together pero after dinner nag disperse yung mga utol niya sa kanikanilang rooms rather than spend time (bonding) with us and their parents.

thebratinella

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #558 on: May 28, 2019, 05:59:04 pm »
Yung ganon pa lang na, expected ni MIL na okay lang for him to go to Cubao, then uuwi sila sa Bulacan ng ganon lang, short notice, and as if ang lapit ng Cavite and Bulacan.

When I told him about this, wala sya sinabi but hugged me. Yun yung isa pang nagpalungkot sakin, for me that was "Sorry, I made you feel that way, pero it is what it is." -- Ewan baka interpretation ko lang yun.
 
I love that he is a loving son/brother. Pero ewan, nalulungkot pa rin ako.
I try to be mature, na isipin ko, we are now "one". And so maybe it means, mas maging tulad nya ako - be always there for family. But I still can't help how I feel.

I understand you, sis. Ganyan naging experience namin ng husband ko before. Nagstart sa maliliit na bagay like sinusundo si sister-in-law para kasama to hang out or overnight sa apartment ni husband before. Okay yun sa akin kasi bonding kami. Until dumating yung time na kami na nagkatuluyan and nanganak ako. Iniwan ako sa hospital room pagkababa ko from the recovery room kasi hinatid pala si sister-in-law sa workplace sa Makati at 7pm. From Dasmarinas, Cavite to Makati yan ha. Hinahanap ko na husband ko kasi need ko magpunta sa comfort room. Pagsagot ng call, on the way na daw sila sa Makati. Galit na galit ako and ilang quarrels din namin inopen ko talaga yung topic na yun. At first hindi naintindihan ng husband ko kasi nga ang tingin niya dati sa role niya ever loving and dutiful son and brother sa kanila lalo na hindi okay relasyon niya sa father-in-law ko. It took a long time din at madaming arguments bago niya naintindihan yung point ko na dapat family na namin yung priority. If may lakad kami, hindi kami dapat yung nagcancel para pagbigyan yung requests ng nanay or sister niya. Medyo nasanay din kasi yung nanay and sister niya sa kanya. Naalala ko nga yung Christmas na hinatid niya nanay niya sa Bulacan sa morning then uwi sa Cavite right after. Pagdating ng January 1 nagmessage na sunduin na daw siya sa Bulacan. Nagdrive na naman husband ko to San Miguel para sunduin siya. Hindi siya makapagdecline kahit masakit na katawan or pagod na. Too many to mention yung mga instances na ganyan. Kahit pagbili ng appliances kami ng husband ko ang pumupunta para samahan sila kahit puwede naman padeliver or something. Need namin mag-adjust ng schedule namin. Napagod na rin kami nung times na pag may vacations kami with friends na nakita ng mother-in-law ko instead na samahan namin siya sa Bulacan. Nasusumbatan kami. Kahit nga 30th birthday celebration ko, nagtext pa ng tampo sa husband ko kasi gusto pumunta kami sa bahay nila. Parang hindi man lang naisip na may lakad yung anak niya with his family. Ultimo nga birthday ng husband ko pinagdrive pa niya para mahatid yung sister-in-law ko sa airport kasi she'll celebrate her birthday daw abroad. Same birth month kasi sila. Kami na naman nag-adjust ng plans namin para maaccommodate siya.  ;D Kaya sabi ko after nito, tama na. Sana maging considerate naman. Hindi naman kami mahirap kausap. Kami yung tipong pag need ng relatives ng blood donor kahit late evening, talagang lumuluwas kami sa Manila to help out pero sana yung mga bagay na kaya na nila gawin or choices naman nila yun, sana hindi kami yung nahassle at yung own plans namin ang nauunsiyami.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2019, 06:02:56 pm by thebratinella »
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baby_yummy

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Re: Nagalit, nainis, napikon na ba kayo sa relative/s ng asawa nyo?
« Reply #559 on: June 02, 2019, 11:19:25 pm »
nairita nanaman ako, parang feel ko pasikat at walang paki yung mga utol ni hubby at MIL ko  ::)

Planning for my Father-In-Law birthday, sabi ni hubby sa mga utol niya is to save money na at ambagan throw their father a party. Kami na ng canvas ng place at wala daw silang TIME to do it then ng singilan for the place eh wala pa daw silang pera? OMG ilang months kaming nagplaplano wala pa din pera pero bago cellphone, inuman session to the max with barkada at makapagpost ng bagong gadgets at bags wagas.. seriously?

tapos si MIL naman gatong keso wala daw pera ang mga utol niya.. wow! i love planning and want to give back (mabait kasi samin ni tatay) pero naiistress ako sa ugali ng mga utol niya walang effort, walang pake puro porma plus kinakampihan pa ng MIL ko yung "suwail" nyang anak. Inaway ko na si hubby sabi ko i dont want to lead that planning ang gulo kausap tatay nyo yan di ko yan tatay bat ako ang namumublema dyan.. kung may dapat mahiya at magbalik ng pagmamahal nyan kayo yun tatay nyo yan eh...  >:(

 


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