Author Topic: After discovering that he cheated, how did u move on? ok pa kayo or hindi na?  (Read 152169 times)

Girltalker2

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Sis Lilu, I like your story very much!
Talagang kahit pa naging challenge itong issue na ito sa marriage mo, kita mo naman ngayon, ok na ok kayo.
Feeling ko talaga it takes 2 to tango. BOTH parties really need to give effort, lalo na yung guy!

Cheers to a happy marriage! 🥂

Baby Ruth

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^@lilu, galing 9 yrs had passed and hope tuloytuloy na yan. Ang Dami ko pagdadaanan para umabot sa stage na wala ng hurt and doubt.

Sis baby Ruth, hopefully maka move on kagad Kayo pati ang kids. 18 years of marriage is admirable. Ang Hirap sa case mo bec 1st, your kids knew or found out, 2nd, some people knew he was cheating but chose to be quiet and 3rd, ang KAPAL ng kabit.

Sis Happysoull18,

Parang ang hirap pa sa ngayon mag-move on.

Masakit pa rin lalo't may bagong nangyari.

Nadiscover ng eldest daughter namin na nagkikita pa daddy nya at yun babae that was last Saturday February 24, 2018.

My daughter told me about it and told her to let it go and follow my instructions to just let her dad stay home and I will talk to her dad once I reached home I was at work that time graveyard shift. What I didn't know was my daughter waited for her dad to come home. He went home at 3am and they had a confrontation. My daughter did not let her dad in na inside our home. Masyado nang nasaktan ang anak ko.

He went away. I texted him na gampanan nya mga obligasyon nya sa mga bata financially at emotionally lalo na sa bunso ko. He never answered my text or calls. He contacted me ng Sunday Feb. 25, 2018 pero di ko nasagot tawag nya. I called him the following day, Monday. We talked he told me he was renting a room but I don't believe him anymore feeling ko nagsasama na sila ng babae nya.

Another pain, Another month...Let's see, I hope me and my kids can survive and surpass this.

Kumukuha ako ng lakas sa mga anak ko at kay Lord.

Alam ko naman di Nya kami pababayaan...

At ang karma andyan nasa paligid lang nila


"If you want happiness for an hour; take a nap. If you want happiness for a day; go fishing. If you want happiness for a month; get married. If you want happiness for a year; inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime; help someone else"

lilu

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@happysoull18 @Girltalker2
Naishare ko lang here, yung may pinagdadaanan sa marriage, yung natotorn between staying or leaving. I hope makatulong ito somehow.. True, time will heal all the pain and miseries. You will never be the same, kasi you will be more aware, strong and less naive. Yung love, sa totoo lang naging less unconditional. Naintindihan din naman ng husband ko yun. I tried to see the good in him, lalo na efforts nya to repair the damages. I'd asked him before kung anong mga reasons why he cheated.
1. Sexually deprived - im on a birth control pills kaya no S-drive.
2. No time - kasi I admit, I looked losyang before, kasi I quit job to take care of our son. So wala ng ayos ayos, plus no time for intimacy, and super tutok lang talaga sa baby.
3. Astronaut - I left home for space kasi we were on the verge of breaking up. Kaya I decided to give him space.. For him, wala nang balikan kung umalis nako ng bahay. Kasi tutal "sira" na daw image nya sa side ko. Kaya tuluyan na nyang sirain ang image nya and nagpaka "single" and the affair started.
4. And finally, Comfort sa iba - found someone he can talk to about work, family issues, marital probs. Kaya ayan tuloy the "other woman" knew that our relationship was on the rocks kaya nag take advantage and grab the opportunity.


@BabyRuth Stay strong for your kids, I know God wouldn't put something hard in our life if he thought we weren't strong enough to get through it. Kaya kapit lang sis.

Honestly, hindi ko ineexpect na mag work out pa ang relationship namin. Bigla ko kasi naisip na kung pinatagal ko pa yung space na binigay ko sa kanya, baka i'll lose him forever. Kaya I decided to make one push. Sinubukan ko lang na mag stay. Pinakalma ko sarili ko, nag observed and naghintay for the right moment na makipag usap.

happysoull18

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^^@sis babyruth, kalungkot that your husband did not stop.

Sa case ko, nobody knew my husband cheated.  When i Found out, I immediately wanted to tell my sisters and some close Friends.  But i was in denial, I couldnt believe it happened to me so my pride stopped me from doing it. I also wanted to tell his family bec I wanted to hurt him. But if I do that naman, they would be heartbroken. Naawa ako sa mother nya. And while these things where going thru my mind Day in Day out, my husband was also making efforts to win me back.

But During the first few days/weeks, I asked him details. Sometimes i got mad during these conversations and then he got mad at me na rin. He said na he was so ashamed of what he did but I keep on digging it up. Na i was dwelling on the past. He feels I have not really forgiven him and that we couldnt move on. He almost gave up bec our talks became stressful to him. So ayun,  after that, i avoided asking for details and tried to become more patient, malambing and Loving again.

Your husband might be like my husband who is proud and  not confrontational so if you decide to accept him back, try to be calm when You talk to him. I know, This is easier said than done. :). Encourage your kids to forgive their father and avoid talking back to him. He might feel unloved and stay with the other woman na.

But if ayaw nyo na talga and cant accept what he did, then I hope you?ll be able to move on even without him. Good luck sa inyo Sis. Continue to pray for guidance and strength.


Baby Ruth

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^^@sis babyruth, kalungkot that your husband did not stop.

Sa case ko, nobody knew my husband cheated.  When i Found out, I immediately wanted to tell my sisters and some close Friends.  But i was in denial, I couldnt believe it happened to me so my pride stopped me from doing it. I also wanted to tell his family bec I wanted to hurt him. But if I do that naman, they would be heartbroken. Naawa ako sa mother nya. And while these things where going thru my mind Day in Day out, my husband was also making efforts to win me back.

But During the first few days/weeks, I asked him details. Sometimes i got mad during these conversations and then he got mad at me na rin. He said na he was so ashamed of what he did but I keep on digging it up. Na i was dwelling on the past. He feels I have not really forgiven him and that we couldnt move on. He almost gave up bec our talks became stressful to him. So ayun,  after that, i avoided asking for details and tried to become more patient, malambing and Loving again.

Your husband might be like my husband who is proud and  not confrontational so if you decide to accept him back, try to be calm when You talk to him. I know, This is easier said than done. :). Encourage your kids to forgive their father and avoid talking back to him. He might feel unloved and stay with the other woman na.

But if ayaw nyo na talga and cant accept what he did, then I hope you?ll be able to move on even without him. Good luck sa inyo Sis. Continue to pray for guidance and strength.

Thank you Sis happysoull18...

Still holding on with God's guidance and of course I have to be strong for my kids...
"If you want happiness for an hour; take a nap. If you want happiness for a day; go fishing. If you want happiness for a month; get married. If you want happiness for a year; inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime; help someone else"

Mrsjareyes

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yung husband ko, i am not sure if nag physical contact na siya sa iba but, I caught/discover him sexting some younger girls or girls from online using free text application. :( and it hurts a lot. he?s been doing it paulit ulit kahit na magiging okay kami tapos after a month ayan nanaman. I am so depressed and sad, feeling ko di siya masaya sakin at hindi ako sapat. were wooing every night! yes everynight kaya ang sakit kasi bakit ganon?

i tried to forgive, and prayed hard to heal myself, it worked well naman

kaya lang pag nangyayari nanamn hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. should I stay or should I go?

i want my marriage to last forever at mahal ko talaga siya. :(

naizlabonita

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yung husband ko, i am not sure if nag physical contact na siya sa iba but, I caught/discover him sexting some younger girls or girls from online using free text application. :( and it hurts a lot. he?s been doing it paulit ulit kahit na magiging okay kami tapos after a month ayan nanaman. I am so depressed and sad, feeling ko di siya masaya sakin at hindi ako sapat. were wooing every night! yes everynight kaya ang sakit kasi bakit ganon?

i tried to forgive, and prayed hard to heal myself, it worked well naman

kaya lang pag nangyayari nanamn hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. should I stay or should I go?

i want my marriage to last forever at mahal ko talaga siya. :(

Ask mo siya sis ano ba talaga gustu nya sa buhay kung gustu nya umastang bachelorette or may asawa. hehe.
Na experience ko na yan and nakakapagod talaga sawayin ang taong walang pagkukusa. Saka you never know baka hinde lang chat or text yan malamang may mga ginagawa na yan sa labas na kakaiba.  Be alert and vigilant nalang sis and pag isipan mong mabuti ang next steps.
Protect your heart and mind from the ugliness that does not belong to you

eian4fun

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we're married for only 6 months, but i saw his chat/s to different girls (as in madaming chat to different girls) nung nagsama na kami. I decided to live with my parents during weekdays kasi mas malapit sa work and nagkikita kami every weekends, and kaya pala he's okay with that set-up dahil sa chat addiction nya.
Even nung day na kinasal kami, nakita ko months ago na nakipag chat sya sa iba.
now, i dunno. Nakakasawa na. Ayaw bumukod, ayaw magpalit ng Cellphone number and ayaw give-up ang social media. Thinking of separation now.

naizlabonita

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we're married for only 6 months, but i saw his chat/s to different girls (as in madaming chat to different girls) nung nagsama na kami. I decided to live with my parents during weekdays kasi mas malapit sa work and nagkikita kami every weekends, and kaya pala he's okay with that set-up dahil sa chat addiction nya.
Even nung day na kinasal kami, nakita ko months ago na nakipag chat sya sa iba.
now, i dunno. Nakakasawa na. Ayaw bumukod, ayaw magpalit ng Cellphone number and ayaw give-up ang social media. Thinking of separation now.

That happened to me.. found out some things nung nagsama na kame like katulad nyan chats with girls.. well..good thing, im not married yet.  ;D ;D ;D
Protect your heart and mind from the ugliness that does not belong to you

bad.det

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Re: After discovering that he cheated, how did u move on? ok pa kayo or hindi na?
« Reply #729 on: December 05, 2018, 09:02:02 pm »
Hi.
I want to talk to someone because kaming 3 lang sa bahay. Me, my partner and my baby. Sa ngayon pumasok na sa work [textspeak!] partner ko.
Nakita ko sa phone nya ang daming number ng girls. Ni search ko yung number sa FB and nakita ko ka work nya. May incoming calls. When i asked him bakit sya tinatawagan magkaiba naman sila ng department ang sagot nya sakin hindi daw nya matandaan kung bakit and hindi nya matandaan kung bakit may number sya dun.
I told him na i want access sa phone nya pero ayaw nya. Maghiwalay nalang daw kami. Mag move out na sya sa weekend daw.
Right now, mas okay na ko na wala sya. Kasi ang babaw eh. Pipiliin niya yung cellphone niya kaysa samin na family niya. I find it funny pero syempre masakit.
I am just praying to god na sana i guide niya ko and give me strength not to give in.
I think he's a narcissist din kasi. Every time na may mahuhuli ako todo deny siya and ang ending ako daw may problema.
I'm 28 and he's 37. Always in denial siya sa age nya.

Natawa ako nung binasa ko tong post ko. Halatang galit ako eh.
Gusto ko na i skip yung depressing phase ng break up kasi may anak ako and wala akong masasandalang ibang tao even my own family. I have to deal with this on my own and learn how to raise my 2 year old boy alone.

Cheers to all single moms out there. Please share tips on how you pull it together and how to start a balik alindog program. Haha

cupcakejane

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Re: After discovering that he cheated, how did u move on? ok pa kayo or hindi na?
« Reply #730 on: February 15, 2019, 07:31:31 pm »
It takes a certain type of strength to be a single mom. May mga nag demanda pa nga pero in the end nagkabalikan pa din.

eimerej5

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Happy New year to all GTs! It?s been awhile since I posted. New year, new strength, new life to look forward to. Cheers to all ladies here! Kaya natin yan. Life have ups and downs. But sabi nga nila kung nasa baba ka ngayon the only way is up.

Nabasa ko yung last post dito, and yeah,  it hurts to be cheated on and it is hard to be a single mom, hard to raise a child alone. But God will always guide us and give us strength to move on and do what we have to do. Kung iniwan ka niya and mas pinili pa ang iba it means hindi siya worthy of your love. There will be someone to come your way to give that love to you. Madami naman dyan kahit may anak na, ngkaka second chance pa din sa true love.
"one of the biggest form of flattery is knowing that by just being your normal wonderful self you make some girl extremely insecure! LIFE IS 10% what is handed to you, and 90% on how you react on it....

sarsingkit

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He had a few incidents of infidelities when were bf/gf but our relationship lasted for about two years until we finally broke up. Then nagkabalikan kami after three years. Got married after a year. Married for 10 years now with two kids. So far so good. Maybe we were young then or maybe because iba na din talaga yung environment namin now na we are not in the Philippines.

undecided

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  • LIFE goes on....
For almost 4years after cheated by my husband....

Is your relationship still ok? Are you still together?
--- Yes still together

Do you still feel the pain of what happened?
--- pa minsan minsan, the pain still there

Do you still trust him after that? what did you do to bring the trust  back?
--- Maybe? nag pray lang ako to heal me. Husband ko na din nagbibigay kase ng mga proof when he's out. never ako nag ask or nag monitor kung nasaan siya or ano ginagawa niya, pinakita ko na bahala ka!

do you still feel that maybe he is still with someone else or still with the old sl*t that broke your trust and faith in him?
--- I don't think so, because we filed case.

Hi mga sissies, momshies! Happy 2021! Just checking on this thread, and kamusta kayo? sana okay na tayong lahat sa mga nag stay or nag left sa kani kanilang life with husband.

Stay Safe! God Bless!
"tulad ng mundong hindi tumitigil sa pag ikot pag ibig hindi mapapagod, tulad ng ilog na hindi tumitigil sa pag agos,pag ibig hindi matatapos"....

 

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