how to deal with depression - Thread 2

[realmofadreamer]

First thread is here: https://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php?topic=216307.0

I want to open a new thread kasi ayoko naman maclose lang yung first thread and just forget about it. I had undiagnosed depression few years ago. The first one happened after I failed my national licensure exam. Grabe yun kasi every night ako umiiyak, hindi ako kumakain nun and hindi ako nakakatulog. Madaling araw na ako nakakatulog tapos sobrang aga ko pa nagigising.
I got out of it after a month of vacation. Bale I found a job in a call center (first job ko since I graduated from college) but I didn't start until after a month. So yung buong buwan na yun, medyo narelax yung mind ko. Umuwi ako sa Davao to spend time with my family then bumalik nalang ako sa Manila after.  I was hesitant to tell my parents at first kasi syempre ineexpect nila na magwork ako based sa kung anong natapos ko. But buti nalang naintindihan naman nila.
6 years later, naulit ulit. I wasn't suicidal but I didn't care whatever happened to me. In fact, I was hoping to just die (just not by my own hands). I didn't know it was depression. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep properly. I think I went 2 days without sleep, not even a wink. Puro energy drink lang ako nun kasi wala akong gana kumain but I still need to work especially since night shift ako nun. But that time during day offs and after work, I prefer to blog, to try recreate designs for my websites (nahilig ako sa web design kahit na PT naman natapos ko). I wasn't happy but it kept me busy.
Sabi ko sa sarili ko noon baka malungkot lang ako kasi parang andaming natanggal sa work namin nun and parang wala na akong patutunguhan, mahirap na mapromote kasi tinanggal na nga yung mga nasa taas eh. Or dahil napapagod na ako sa work ko. But never ko naisip na depression na pala yun. A few months later, umuwi ako sa Davao for Christmas and New Year. Yung mom ko nakapansin. Napaiyak pa nga siya kasi sabi niya when she saw me pagkababa ko ng sasakyan from the airport, mukha daw akong kalansay and parang walang life yung mukha ko. Bago ako bumalik sa Manila, yung Papa ko na mismo kumausap sa akin. Actually he just said one line. He said "Anak, kung hindi mo na kaya, umuwi ka nalang. Kaya ka naming alagaan." He never asked anything else and hindi ako close sa kanya kaya hindi rin ako nagoopen up. Pero for him to say that, I knew I had to do something. So nagresign ako sa work and stayed at my parent's home for a year. After a year, tiyaka lang ako sinabihan ni Papa na kung gusto ko daw bumalik sa pagkaPT, sasagutin niya daw kung kailangan ko bumalik sa school. I went back to school just to fulfill yung mga new requirements to apply for licensure exam in US. Marami pa nangyari in between pero hindi ko na isa isahin, medyo mahaba na rin ito.

I guess what I learned from then was that to give myself some time. Hanap ako ng gagawin and try to focus on that. The first one was to find a job. And second one was to go back to school. And syempre family support is really helpful. I'm blessed that my parents know me well more than I know myself and they still support me sa kahit ano pa gusto kong gawin.

[littlekinselle]

^ i tried this personality test.. and it's pretty  accurate
https://www.16personalities.com/esfp-personality 
" The Entertainer"

EXTRAVERTED 63%
OBSERVANT 61%
FEELING 58%
PROSPECTING 51%
ASSERTIVE 56%

i take twice same pa din nakuha ko results..

[lalee888]

I wanted to share this powerful and honestly very true post, in light of Kate Spade's suicide.

https://readbloomjoy.com/2018/06/06/womans-facebook-post-about-kate-spade-mental-illnesses/

It is important to remember that depression is a real health issue, just like how breast cancer is real. it is a chemical reaction in the body, and it should not be minimized, or taken for granted.

If anyone knows official resources for help in the Philippines, like suicide hotline and/or other web resources, please post them here so anyone looking at this thread can find them.

We have sisters suffering in silence and I am pretty sure there are also lurkers out there who could use the help.

[Half_Lifer26]

Aww.. That's so sad to hear.. I did not know Kate Spade but after finding out who she is and what happened it is really sad and disheartening.. 

It really doesn't matter if you are famous or has a lot of money.. Once depression hits you, it will hit you like a monster that it is and start to suck your life away..

[peaceinsolitude]

I was an INTJ now an ENFP-T

I am an ambivert. I like people and talking to people to an extent and would go the extra mile to avoid talking at times.

I think I need to go to get help. I have a hard time getting sleeep then I wake up really early. There are times I feel normal then biglang naooverwhelm ako sa nothingness na nararamdaman ko... like there's a hole in my chest that feels heavy. I like living but at the same time it feels tiring and empty.. when im anxious I get suicidal thoughts. Like I see myself slashing my arms and it's not something I want but it becomes my default thought when I do something I think is wrong or I remember something I could've done better. It scares me but I don't have a lot to spend. I cant afford spending more than 1k sa doctor.  Please could someone help?

I don't know why I feel this way. Last time it happened I was on medical leave and I was told that feeling depressed is quite common when you're idle. I am not.. I am a happy person pero biglang it's like I'm in a tunnel of intense darkness with no hope just unending darkness.

I try to distract myself pero I'm  tired I really am.

The other day my Mom apologized kasi she realized that I may need help. I told them I've been having suicidal thoughts and I feel depressed and she somehow swept it under the rug. She is a doctor but she thinks that it is caused by the lack of faith. My faith is the only reason why I am alive.  I asked her if the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain made her realize that it's soemthing serious and I asked her if I had to try to kill myself for her to take me seriously and she felt scared, which I am sorry for but I hope she got the point. I feel bad about people succumbing to mental illness pero does it really need to happen just for people to listen?

[babymeow04]

I?m a Bipolar 1 diagnosed patient. Which means I experience mania (hyper/happy) and depression over a cycle of 1-2 weeks. But since I?ve been taking my meds regularly, I don?t have these symptoms anymore.

I strongly suggest that people should seek medical help, particularly a Psychiatrist to be diagnosed and treated correctly. I could never express in words the amount of peacefulness it had brought me. But the best thing that I appreciate about my treatment is being able to sleep normally. Before, no matter how early I lay in bed, I would only fall asleep past midnight.

Stop the stigma, stop being afraid, go see a Doctor. Please.

Dra. Luz Katigbak
Makati med
(0923) 494 6673 - call or text for appointments

[young_maiden]

Hindi pa ako clinically diagnosed ha pero tingin ko may depression ako. Laging pabalik-balik suicidal thoughts ko. Hindi ako makatulog na maayos. Kahit anong oras ako matutulog, magigising ako from 12 midnight to 3 am at mahihirapan makatulog ulit. I am thankful for my family and friends kasi nandyan sila para remind ako na life is still beautiful kahit unfair siya.

[kvan]

^Yes, you should really consider getting help especially you have suicidal thoughts.

[babymeow04]

Depression is just part of the disease, minsan you have anxiety disorder kaya ka nadedepress. Or you could be bolimic or anorexic because of depression. Si Robin Williams nga, all along people thought depressed sya kaya sya nagsuicide, but then after autopsy they found out may undiagnosed dementia pala sya. Which again, depression is just part of having dementia which explains kaya masusungit ang matatanda kase depressed pala sila. It?s still best to get diagnosed and get treated.

[sophiagray]

Hi! Can somebody recommend a psychologist specializing on cbt, mindfulness n etc? Thanks

[megustaelcafe]

Hello. Newbie here. Nagkaroon din ako ng dysthymic episodes before kaya I thought baka makatulong mga isashare kong info. There's Metro Psych Facility in Pasig and they are open for 24 hours. You can also check Dra. Gatlabayan in Clinica Antipolo. Last time I consulted with her, the consultation fee is only 1k. She also has a clinic in Medical City Pasig Main pero the fee is already higher there. God Bless po sa inyo!

[Half_Lifer26]

Parang ayoko na talaga mga sis! I'm just tired of everything..  Everything..I give up already.. Ayoko na talaga..

[cupcakejane]

Dra. Luz Katigbak
Makati med
(0923) 494 6673 - call or text for appointments

How many sessions before you were diagnosed with depression or bipolar disorder?   Were you given meds?

[mansison]

Check out Dr Joyce Piap Go when it comes to depressions. She is amazing! Talk Theraphy lang

[cupcakejane]

It helps for me to engage in outdoor recreation.  At the moment, I do biking (with social distancing) to also get a little bit of sun.

Read about vitamin D, and how taking in the right amount would help minimize depression alongside other obvious things like keeping yourself busy, engaging in recreational activities, undergoing therapy if needed, so on and so forth

[so_bloo]

Ive been suffering from depression for a long time but recently lang ako nagpaconsult sa psychiatrist. Nakakarelate ako sa mga sisses natin dito, same feeling na parang may black hole sa chest and napapagod nako sa life that i juat want to give up kasi everything is pointless and i just want to rest, eternally.

My doc prescribed an anti depressant and i must say, 1st day pa lang, nag effect na sya sakin. It's like magic. Di na sobrang heavy yung feeling, di na puro suicidal thoughts every waking moment. Eto pala yung feeling na normal lang na hinahanap ko. Tagal ko pinagpray to na maging normal .