"i've set this wall for all guys attempting to make ligaw, taray to the max ako. but if they managed to break it, all rationale goes out the window & i give in na. even if he's all wrong for me, i stand by my decision to be with that person. "
Hey. Maybe there's one word that could sum all of that up. How about ....
Stubborn?
Kidding aside, women who are open minded bout sex are very often misjudged as
Easy. Who? By women themselves.
And Men who are hoping that the 'alleged nature' will benefit them.
On the guy's confusing behavior .....
Very few guys have the necessary courage to turn their backs on good uncommitted sex. I think avoiding it, or preventing it from ever happening in the first place is a lot easier than ending what has already been a constant activity. Now the less personal contacts there are especially after sex, the better for the guy, the lighter on his conscience (
if he ever listens to his 
), and the better for the set-up. If the idea is to have sex and not an affair, then there is really no need for dates and those
relationship-tweaking stuff. Stuff that could cloud the better judgment of either parties involved and make them see something which isn't even there at all.
Don't get me wrong, such err ...
Mixed Signals, are necessary for starters. A married/committed guy just can't walk to a lady, amplify his good looks, and ask for a quickie. That only works for James Bond .... and it has nothing to do with him being Single ha.
So those of us who aren't James Bond have to play around a bit, make the women feel comfortable, which usually comes with common mistakes like making the attempt seem like a casual shot at courting her sort of disguised as an innocent friendly gesture. But when you're having sex already, you little by little chop off elements of the Mixed Signals, actually also as a way to let the lady know just how limited the scope of this relationship is .... Because again, unlike James Bond, we just can't leave and fly to another country in a moments' notice.
Darn, British Secret Agents surely have things better.
The last thing a philandering married guy wants is to have a full blown affair that could ruin his marriage. Unless of course the guy really wants a wife replacement, and/or is seeking romantic attention and not just plain sex. But if were the case then he probably would have spent, at least half your time together doing other, non-sex related stuff. Like a guy-saying goes: "
There is a difference between Doing Something FOR You, and Doing Something TO You' ".
i gave him my virginity, if that makes any sense
Let me ask you, .... Does the above act prevent you from considering other men? Does the fact that he was the 'first guy' give him more than the necessary
Bonus Points?
"i guess this qualifies as a "pretend-we're-committed-and-we-care-about-each-other" sex? "
I guess it could. You seem to consider it that way. And it seemed to have started that way. With the dates, the constant communication and the works. It seems to have taken the "Affair" route at first, but I guess it eventually shifted course to something more convenient and less committed.
I mean, do you really buy the story that he lost his phone and never managed to get a replacement? A replacement worthy of texting and calling as much as his Lost Phone could?
Do you really believe he wants to dine with you, or just feels that it's but courtesy to "
feed" you first before a tiring activity?
Do you believe that when he calls you, he really is concerned about your welfare and not just a prelude, intro, sale pitch, to asking you out again?
Sure, that "
miss you" part should be sincere. But the reason behind it may not be the kinda reason that works for you.
My point is, in as much as it seems like a "
pretend-we-care-about-each-other" relationship, I think what the guy has in mind now is more of a FUBU set-up. Which explains why the interactions leading to, and after Sex are
limited. That is the whole point of a FUBU Set-up. Which again is something I call a SET-UP and never a Relationship. An Activity that has a definite purpose and a well defined scope. There is no
relationship that exists beyond the sexual set-up. The conversations are but small talks, which more or less are for courtesy purposes.
