Longterm partner got pregnant with another guy

[bostonkreme]

Hi,

Thanks everyone i am just new here but has been lurking around for years.

I am an OFW and my long term girlfriend for 5 years has been impregnated by another guy.
Currently I and my girlfriend have a 4 year old son.

I will be going back to discuss further with my girlfriend.
1. But in your honest opinion should we keep the relationship alive for the sake of our 4 year old son?

feel free to add more opinions and questions to help me out with my current problem.

Thanks in Advance
Mabuhay!

[khaleesiCersei]

Mag co-parenting na lang kayo for the sake of your child, no need to continue the relationship with the child?s mother. Focus na lang on your kid, continue sending financial support but if ako siguro nasa kalagayan mo i would put it in paper, siguro idaan ko na sa legalities para sure ako na sa anak ko talaga mapupunta ang sustento. Ayusin mo na din ang mga rights mo as a father, about sa custody etc..Mag set na ka din ng boundaries and make it clear na hati kayo financially since she is already pregnant with someone else, it?s clear naman siguro sayo na magkakaron na siya ng ibang pamilya. She is obviously  in a relationship with someone else.

[hisana]

Well, kayo lang din talaga ng gf mo ang makakapagsabi if your relationship is strong enough to overcome this level of infidelity, but personally kung for the sake of your child lang, eh I don?t think staying together is always the best decision kung magiging cold/toxic/full of resentment and complications lang din ang pagsasama nyo. Not a good environment to raise any kid in. A ?complete? family does not always necessarily translate into stability or happiness.

[izabelle]

For me no. Not worth it. Sorry, pero kapag mahirap na pagkatiwalaan, wala ng sense magkarelationship pa. Unless, kaya mo sya iforgive and pagkatiwalaan ulit.

[Acetylcholine]

If ever na mag continue may trust issue na kayo sa isa't isa. But still ikaw lang makakasagot.

[otra_vez]

for me, this relationship is over. i agree with the others-- work on how you guys would co-parent your son but that's about it.

[J.warner]

Buti na lang di pa kayo kasal.

[FayeP]

^j.warner, exactly buti hindi kayo kasal, imagine the mess...at kung kasal kayo, pag nanganak yun ex-partner mo, apelyido mo pa din ata yung gagamitin ng ospital kasi legal kayong kasal, imagine, di mo anak eh (although, wala kasalanan ang bata)...

since there is no longer a relationship between the two of you, let's not pretend na meron pa okay kasi hello nabuntis na siya ng iba, dun sa bata na lang...but you should set aside the amount na reasonable, wag ka gano galante dahil you might be supporting her new family pag galante ka, pero wag din kuripot...yun tama lang....school expenses, medical expenses, food and clothing, toys ng bata isipin mo din....

higit sa lahat, personal relationship mo with your kid, dapat constant ang communication nyo ng bagets...

[mysterioza_me]

1. But in your honest opinion should we keep the relationship alive for the sake of our 4 year old son?

Be civil na lang for the sake of your son. Pero hanggang dun nalang. Its hard to keep the relationship knowing na nabuntis na siya ng iba, OFW ka pa naman. Di malayo na ulit-ulitin ang kataksilan tuwing wala ka sa tabi niya.

And yes, I agree to make everything legal lalo na ang visitation rights mo and sustento. May mga girls na gusto magsustento lang ang tatay pero ayaw pakita at ipahiram ang anak.

[FayeP]

^sis mysterioza_me, yun nga ipagdadamot na, ni ayaw patawagan, so dapat may kasulatan kahit sa baranggay (dunno kung pwede sila mangialam sa ganito pero you can try).....

tindi din ng ex-partner ni TS, nagpabuntis pa sa iba...haist

[mysterioza_me]

^Pwede sa Brgy gumawa ng kasulatan. Or kung gusto nila iderecho na sa Dswd. Since ofw siya hilingin niya na kung wala siya e madalaw ng ibang kapamilya niya ang bata para masilip-silip ang situation.

Ewan ko ba bakit may babae or even lalake na ang tino na ng partner nila naghahanap pa ng sakit ng ulo.

[Bridgette*]

Magpaka tatay ka na lang sa anak mo. But to keep that kind of girl? Think twice. Thrice. Fries.

[heidzqb]

If you stay in the relationship there will be trust issues na rin dahil may "lamat" na un relasyon and it will also affect your son. Maybe parting ways and taking turns to have time with your son might be the best way.

[ryunherrera]

Take responsibility for your child.  Find a woman who will value, love and respect you.

[jojo2978]

Ask yourself what you want,  ikaw lang makakasagot what will make you happy.

It seems also that you being here,  you strongly considered continuing the relationship.

Either way,  wala namang tama or mali.  Mas kilala mo rin si partner mo,  for sure naupuan ninyo na and napag usapan.

Hope for the best.