gambling problem

[miksha]

how do you help a person that has a gambling addiction maliban pa sa hindi pagbigay nang pera or to not give him any access to money? mayroon ba na support group for this like katulad nang alcoholics anonymous?

[bdayboy]

Taking away the money, is the last thing you wanna do as it will only worsen the situation.  Gambling is more often a symptom of a more deeper problem.  You might want to consider trying to understand the root cause of his gambling.  Try asking his gambling buddies, if you happen to be close to any of them,  and see if you can find out some info as to why he gambles.  Otherwise, you may ask a favor from a trusted friend to talk with the person to check on how he'/she is doing to try and draw out the cause of the gambling problem.

[miksha]

well actually mahabang istorya. nanguha na siya nang mga kagamitan before na hindi kanya at binenta niya para magkapera for gambling. after that nilagay siya sa isang rehab with counselling. so attitude problem daw that stems from childhood pa.... so sinabi din how in a way siya matutulungan etc... after much time and effort medyo umayos siya (kumabaga hindi na nag-gamble although wala pa din silbi at non-contributing individual pa din... ) then when he finally got a job, he lost it after a few months .. after that ayun na balik ulit sa tatamadtamaran.. at isang araw na lang nasimot ang pera sa bahay at nawala siya..nagsabi siya na sorry at sinabi niya lahat nang pinaggagawa niya like kung sino sino na pala inutangan niya ( making up believable stories )...sa ngayon hindi namin alam kung nasaan siya pero we are expecting na babalik pa din siya at syempre sino pa din ba ang tutulong kung hindi kami na kapamilya niya alangan naman iwan na lang namin iyan ay di dagdag problema nanaman sa lipunan..  pero hindi na namin alam kung paano siya tutulungan ang mahirap din is nasaid na din karamihan sa pasensiya at forgiveness na hindi ko naman masisi since napakasama naman talaga ginawa niya... kahit sino kumausap sa kanya kahit dati pa sasabihin niya alam ko alam ko sori na sori na magbabago magbabago pero wala namang gawa... solo flight siya sa gambling dahil pati barkada niya dati ayaw sa kanya dahil nga inutangan at tinakbuhan at kinuhanan nang pera.. maswerte nga siya wala pa nagpapa-pulis sa kanya... ang mahirapa pa may mga anak siya though hiwalay na sa asawa.. hindi na nga siya ang bumubuhay sa mga anak niya ganyan pa siya... ang mahirap kase napansin ko na noon pa gusto niya easy money, fast money, may katamaran talaga.. nung panahon na wala siyang trabaho kahit maglinis sa bahay hindi gumalaw.. ano kaya dapat namin gawin once na bumalik siya... alam ko dapat tough love at dapat harapin niya mga problema niya sa buhay pero paano ba ang constructive na pagtulong.. sa tingin ko kase kailangan dito proffesional na makakatulong talaga at may support system maliban pa sa pamilya... yung dating psychologist at counsellor pakiramdam ko wala naman gaano naitulong saka yung center kung saan siya pinadala parang halos wala din..

[bdayboy]

Mukhang malalim na nga yung problema nya.  Let me share my story on how I helped my brother battle depression.  He was diagnosed as bi-polar and would have similar episodes to what you shared.  He would sell stuff, bring uknown people to our house, was always on a high and all that.  He too came from rehab but it recurred a few months after.  It came to a point that my family almost got destroyed because of him.  One thing I did was to show him that I cared and would like to help him regardless of what he did and is doing but at the same time reprimanded him constantly of the wrong things he was doing.  It payed off I think because one day he approached me and asked for help.  It was the first time that he was the one who asked for it.  When we talked I told him what the reality was and what could happen to him if he didn't change his ways. It took me almost two months for him to put his act together and slowly he started to keep himself busy studying stuff and looking for work.  Eventually, he got a job, married and has a family of his own now.  Though he still has minor episodes similar to whenhe was depressed, it rarely occurs now.  The point of my story is, the healing has to start with him realizing that for things to change he has to change.  Somebody has to tell him the reality and he has to learn to accept it. Tough love is necessary at this point because anything less will get him nowhere.  As for you, let him feel that you're helping him because you want to not because you want to address his gambling problem.  When you get his trust, it will make things a bit easier.  Hopefully, this would be helpful to you.

[miksha]

thank you for sharing. Pinaparamdam namin always that we care and also nirereprimand din namin siya and the consequences of what he is doing. Lagi naman niya sinasabi na gets niya sori po alam niya he needs help he will accept help etcc... pero hayy....wala pa din.. kumabaga parang hindi naman bukal sa kalooban niya or hindi naman siya determinado na magbago and i think yan ang pinakamahirap

[bdayboy]

You're welcome! It will take time. Just hang in there

[mommyjazz]

There's Gamblers Anonymous Philippines pero for the past few years, mababa na ang attendance. Wala kasing solid na group, foundation or officers and nangangasiwa ng org. They have a yahoo group http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/GA-Philippines/
GA is only for the addict themselves. Only the ones who accept their disease would attend. Those who are in denial, kahit perfect pa ang attendance nila will not change. Once the person acknowledges his ailment and wants help (hindi lang yung "oo alam ko may problema ako"), then the GA program will be effective.
For concerned loved ones like you, in the US there is Gam-anon group. Wala pa nun dito sa Pilipinas. You can have him "banned" sa casinos. You have to write sa security office ng Pagcor stating why you want him banned presenting copies of documents like birth certificate (kung anak o magulang mo yung gambler) or marriage certificate (kung asawa mo yung gambler). You will be asked several copies of his ID picture. This will be distributed to different Pagcor casinos para pag na identify siya ng security on duty sa entrance or sa gaming area, he will not be allowed to enter or will be escorted off the gaming premises. Better search for the Security office tel no of the casino you know he frequents para you can inquire of their detailed requirements.
As for his family, ayaw ko man i-advice eto pero para na rin sa kabutihan ng wife niya, think about having a legal separation para kung ano man ang utang ng brother mo ay hindi niya pasanin. Warn your relatives and his close friends also not to lend him. Tigasan niyo puso ninyo. Pag nanghingi ng pangkain, bigyan niyo ng pagkain. Pag damit, damit. Pag para sa pamilya niya, give it directly to the wife. Pag naggalit-galitan o become violent, ipabarangay. Kung always forgiving kasi ang family, it gives him a sense of security. I once met a former drug addict na counselor na ngayon. According to his experience, an addict has to hit rock bottom para marealize niya na kagagawan niya ang lahat and landing in jail might do that.
Bottomline, he has to realize himself that he needs help. It was good on your part na na introduce niyo siya sa counselor and all, pero kung hindi manggagaling sa kaniya ang desire to change, kahit na si Oprah pa ang mag counsel sa kaniya, walang magbabago. What you can do is present yourselves as his family na ready tumulong (hindi to give him money or pay his debts) once he asks. Tell him that when he's tired and ready to give up his gambling, nandiyan lang kayo at alam ninyo ang gagawin niyo.
If you believe in the power of prayer, get a prayer group to fast and pray for him.

[tey_roch19]

nakarelate naman ako dito. hmmm, nadadalas na ako sa casino. hindi ko napapansin na malaki na ang natatalo ko. kaya everytime na naiisip ko ang casino, dina divert ko ang attention ko. hindi ko din alam bakit ako na hook dito. nung natuto ako nito, una just for fun lang. i know how and when to stop but lately masyado na akong natuwa at naaddict. gabi gabi after work kahit puyat pa. now, gumagawa ako ng paraan para magpakabusy at hindi na magawi sa casino.

[justin3]

^weeeh? di nga? kunsabagay, sa mga napasukan kong casino, out-numbered talaga ang guys.
sa sabungan at karera lang ata ng kabayo mas marami ang lalaki.


how would you rate me peepz?
average ko 5-6 days a week sa casino (small time nga lang ako, pang e-games lang. i find playing cards, yung may dealer, as boring kasi. leche, P500 (P100?) pa ang minimum na taya)
usually nakababad ako 3hrs min, 12hrs max each visit. (ngayong gabi lang ako di natuloy)
di lang slot machines, black jack at baccarat nilalaro ko. pati sports betting pinasok ko na rin. (panalo ako kay Azarenka at kay Djokovic yon nga lang, natalo naman ang Thunders, Heats, Grizzlies at Hawks kanina  )
sa office, kung may kalaro lang sa tong-its, tuloy ang sugal kahit na office hours pa eh.

now, am i an addict sa lagay na yan?... NO!
am i in denial?... NO!
aaminin ko na addict ako sa nicotine pero sa sugal, hinding-hindi!
why?... basta. mahaba kung i-explain ko pa dito.

^^nice point sis! 


miksha - before i say my piece (na sana makatulong), maitanong ko lang... brother mo ba ang nalulong sa sugal? anong (mga) sugal ang kinahuhumalingan nya? how old is he? ano ages ng mga kids nya? sa family nyo/ among your kins/ community/ kapanalig sa Dyos... may nakatatanda o kahit sinong tao na mataas ang respeto pa nya?
sugal lang ba ang addiction nya? ...walang bato at alak ha?

...sana hindi pa huli ang lahat.

[mommyjazz]

This is from the website of Resorts World Manila
http://www.rwmanila.com/corporate-social-responsibility/responsible-gaming

A few indications that you might have a gambling problem

You feel the need to be secretive about your gambling. You lie about how much you spend on gambling.
You feel compelled to gamble until you’ve spent your last money.
You use money allotted for basic necessities for gambling activities.
You resort to borrowing, selling property, or even stealing to have gambling money.
Friends and family have expressed concern over your gambling.


Seeking Help

The Life Change Recovery Center (LCRC) is a professional counseling and treatment facility for individuals with psychiatric conditions, addictions, psychological and/or behavioral problems. LCRC focuses on wholistic healing of its patients.

Life Change Recovery Center
105 Scout Rallos Street, Kamuning
Barangay Sacred Heart, Quezon City
Tel Nos. 415-7964 / 415-6529
Website: www.lifechangerecovery.com

[justin3]

sabi ko na nga bang hindi ako adik sa sugal eh. 

really! not one of the above indications.
call it weird, pero ako lang siguro ang sugarol na nililista ang panalo at talo. like awhile ago, nanalo ako ng 400 sa NBA, talo naman ng 500 sa slot.

oist! may tsismis pa ko nahagilap kanina.
kasabay ko na naman kanina ang aging multi-awarded actress sa pasugalan kanina. kasama nya ang bf/hubby(?) nya.
bad influence nga ata ang partner nya. dati nagkalitex-litex na ang career nun kasi nalulong daw sa bato. ngayon, sa sugal na naman. as revealed by the sekyu, ngayon lang sya napapadalas sa sugalan. (pero ang partner nya, dati nang nagsusugal)
ayon, talo na naman kanina. ilang beses nag withdraw sa ATM. napauwi ng maaga. wala na siguro maisugal.
 

[indigo.tulle]

know somebody close who has been gambling 'seriously' for 2 years na...nagsimula lang 'for fun' sa mga out of town trips and then, naging "sosyal" na lifestyle na nila (nahatak na ni wifey si hubby sa RW).

sama po pa mga mabubuting barkada niya. 
may mga oras pa kahit walang masakyan papuntang RW (malayo layo rin iyun di ba), libre naman hatid/sundo sa shuttle.
2 years straight na kaming walang christmas, new year, sama mo na pati chinese new year dahil sa lintik na RW yan (2 years prior, free stay pa sa maxim sa points from RW!). 
always present kasi sila duon kesa magkaruon ng meaningful family affair.

nagsimula lahat nito dahil magnanakaw yung favorite son ng malaking halaga, kinunsinti pa ng nanay at pabayaan na lang daw (kapamilya kasi). 
ayun, tinapon na lang ang mga milliones sa RW (swerte naman nila!) kesa manakaw pa ulit.

nag lay low naman dahil nagka terminal illness (at malaki na ang nabawas na pera), pero, balik RW ulit every family day 4pm till midnight ang saya!  kinukuha na sa pinagkakakitaan ngayon.  wala ng savings e!


ilang beses na sila pinagsasabihan o pinipigilan....P30K every month ang tinatapon ng nanay nila sa slot machine.. hanggang saan ang pangangatwiran sa mga taong hindi nakaka intindi.  palibhasa pera kasi ng mag asawa, kaya "karapatan" nila saan nila idadala. 

anong masama daw?!

[KingofAce]

anyone who wants to stop gambling really can...it means surrendering that he or she is powerless against gambling..

There is a GA (gambling anonymous) group in makati that meets twice a week (mondays and fridays) for recovering gamblers.. a gambling addict needs a support group like GA to lead him to a normal way of thinking towards a vicious illness such as gambling addiction..

Meeting schedules Mondays - 7.30pm, Fridays- 7.30pm @ BO's Cafe G/F Glorietta 5. 

[kristinhart]

I know a place or rehabilitation that caters about gambling problem and its really affordable. I believe this will help them

[Cluelesschx]

Sis Miksha, when I started reading your post kinabahan ako akala ko brother ko dinedescribe mo hehe

I will send my mom the details of the gambling anonymous na nag memeet sa glorietta. hopefully pumunta ang kuya ko.

Malaki pagkakapareho ng dinescribe ni Sis Miksha sa brother ko. Siya yung me kalahating milyon na sa table sa panalo, pag uwi ubos pa din. He simply couldn't stop.  Umutang ng malaki sa bank collateral ang property na nasa pangalan niya na binigay ng mom ko, same day narelease ang loan takbo sa casino, same day ubos.

HIniwalayan na siya ng asawa niya, bitbit ang mga anak dahil sa addiction niya, coupled with unbelievable katamaran.

siguro kelangan din umattend ng mom ko sa meeting kasi she "funds" his gambling addiction. Kaya nag aaway na din kami ng mom ko dahil dito, kasi sa tingin ko mali talaga na nasusuportahan pa niya.

Ang malungkot pa dito sobrang taas ng tingin ng kapatid ko sa sarili niya(sobrang achiever kasi sya noon), lahat sa kanya me excuse. Ayaw niya tumanggap ng suggestions at reasons.

Naisip ko din ipaban sa pagcor at rw, I can pretend to be the wife requesting him to be banned, pero anjan pa din naman ang sabong at underground casinos

Just sharing sisses

[kristinhart]

I believe the best thing to do is to take him into a rehabilitation center. There is this one thing that i know that is affordable and i brought my father there too... not only the gambler is being catered but they have a group also for family members because family members are the addict of the gambler.

https://alcoholanddrugspilipinas.wordpress.com

[The Lioness]

Is the GA group in G5 still meeting up there? My partner is a pathological gambler. I can't get him to stop. And I'm getting so frustrated. Lahat ng pera for our bills, rent, money for our baby, or any money that falls in his hand goes to casinos. Lahat ng pwede nyang isangla (kahit kaluluwa nya siguro), he will do so para may maisugal lang sya. Kahit 100 or 50 pesos na lang pera nya.

[kristinhart]

Is the GA group in G5 still meeting up there? My partner is a pathological gambler. I can't get him to stop. And I'm getting so frustrated. Lahat ng pera for our bills, rent, money for our baby, or any money that falls in his hand goes to casinos. Lahat ng pwede nyang isangla (kahit kaluluwa nya siguro), he will do so para may maisugal lang sya. Kahit 100 or 50 pesos na lang pera nya.

better po iparehab siya. para bith side eh matulungan at gumaling

[karenvillaflor]

^I'm wondering if where did he got his money for gambling? He have a work? It's very hard for your situation sis, mahirap na mapabago yan. Kasi kung irerehab ang laking conflict nyan.

[kristinhart]

i believe pag ipaparehab ay malaking tulong. hindi lang yung may problem or addict ang matutulungan, lati na din mga co dependents. wag antayin na mawalis lahat ng pinaghirapan kung may solusyon pa namn para dyan. Im not related to this rehab, but healing path rehabilitation caters different kind of addiction at dun ko din dinala papa ko. At malaki [textspeak!] ang naitulong nito kay papa at sa healing process din namin na kapamilya niya.