Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 4)

[oshiawase]

Hello, how do you move on from unrequited love?

[sacred cow]

^ to get over someone, get under someone else - karen roe OTH

[jazzlawyer]

... And he's the one who remembers when we first met, our first date, how long he claims I made him wait to have a date with me, and heck, he even remembers my period.

I really think guys NEED to remember our period haha!!!

[argento]

? kelangan ba ipagsigawan nyo sa mga madlang people na you're proposing to your gf's?

Hindi kailangan. Bakit pa ipapaalam sa iba ang proposal. Kaartehan lang yun. gusto ng attention sa ibang tao.

[sugardrop]

^
I agree with this. For me, it should be a very personal and intimate thing. Ayaw ko ng may kung ano anong cheverloo in public. While it would seem nice to a lot of women, what if the girl isn't ready talaga but couldn't say no because the guy might be embarrassed in public.

[simang]

^apir! We're thinking of the same thing about saying no

[Girltalker2]

^bakit di nyo pag usapan ng maayos? bakit feeling mo nagjojoke lang sya? some girls it's a joke pag walang ring, kapag hindi 'for the books'. malay mo seryoso sya. oh well you'll never know kase you think he's just kidding. whatever you're thinking, that's your reality

I agree. Things like these kelangan pinag uusapan ninyo as a couple nang siryosohan.  If he would just joke around for a decade, baka wala nga syang balls to marry you.  He is just treating it as a joke para ma comfort ka.

I am wary about men like this who cannot even communicate what they want.  If they do not know what they want or cannot even communicate it with their partners, kelangan mag isip isip na ng babae.  These men seems to have a mind/communication skills of a 12 year old. Gusto mo ba ikasal sa isang taong ganyan?  Di pa nga kayo nag uumpisa, ganyan na sya. What more later in life.

[Pink_Sugar]

Yun na nga walang balls ang term or siguro kasi mas matanda ako sa kanya at ako ang laging nagdedesisyon majority sa mga pangyayari sa buhay namin. Pero maliban doon eh napaka caring, maalaga at supportive naman ang jowa ko kaso ako lagi ang may say sa lahat ng bagay... Minsan napapaisip nga rin ako.
Nung minsan sinabi ko sa kanya ang gusto kong wedding ay parang kay megan fox, yung 3 lang sila sa island, the bride groom and the priest, tapos ayoko ng prenup picture, parang nakita ko nalungkot yung mata nya.

[simang]

I agree. Things like these kelangan pinag uusapan ninyo as a couple nang siryosohan.  If he would just joke around for a decade, baka wala nga syang balls to marry you.  He is just treating it as a joke para ma comfort ka.

I am wary about men like this who cannot even communicate want they want.  If they do not know what they want or cannot even communicate it with their partners, kelangan mag isip isip na ng babae.  These men seems to have a mind/communication skills of a 12 year old. Gusto mo ba ikasal sa isang taong ganyan?  Di pa nga kayo nag uumpisa, ganyan na sya. What more later in life.

Yeah, communication talaga is very important.. and aside from the guy who can't communicate his actual thoughts, si sis Pink_Sugar din I think has to improve her skill on that matter. Guys normally don't talk about these things (marriage, family, etc) kase a good man will want to make sure that everything is laid down bago nila gawin yan. Even nga pagsasabi ng i love you, they're not so big at that kase it's a big thing for them. So the fact that the bf is open to these topics of conversation, then maybe he's thinking about it really. Pero kung ako nga naman si guy, at everytime magtatry ako sabihin eh babarahin ako ng nagjojoke ka lang naman, I won't feel good about it. Kaya some guys are pressured nowadays to propose with a ring and a mob and a hidden camera eh, kase nga most girls, di umuubra sa kanila yung simpleng usapan lang lalo na these days. Kaya yung iba, maybe, hindi na lang nila tinatanong ulit or inoopen ang topic pero who knows, at the back of their minds baka gusto talaga nila ng marriage with you. Again, you'll never know that unless both of you become open minded with the idea and communicate effectively.

Yun na nga walang balls ang term or siguro kasi mas matanda ako sa kanya at ako ang laging nagdedesisyon majority sa mga pangyayari sa buhay namin. Pero maliban doon eh napaka caring, maalaga at supportive naman ang jowa ko kaso ako lagi ang may say sa lahat ng bagay... Minsan napapaisip nga rin ako.
Nung minsan sinabi ko sa kanya ang gusto kong wedding ay parang kay megan fox, yung 3 lang sila sa island, the bride groom and the priest, tapos ayoko ng prenup picture, parang nakita ko nalungkot yung mata nya.

Have you even asked him ano ang dream wedding nya, or at least anong gusto nyang mangyare pag kinasal kayo? Baka nalungkot sya kase he knows he can't give you your dream wedding? Isa pa yan eh, guys get pressured to give their girls her dream wedding. Kaya takot silang magpakasal. I know you know that what's more important is the life after the ceremony, right? If I were you, I'd focus on that. Yun ang sasabihin ko sa kanya. How i want our married lives to be. The details of the wedding ceremony should not be on your worry list even.

11 years together? To be honest I don't believe in long term relationships unless sobrang bata nyo nagsimula, kase a guy who wants to marry you will at least have that feeling right away. Don't tell me na nag-iipon pa, or pinaghahandaan pa. Kung talagang nag-iipon, I think at least dapat clear sa inyo yung pinag iipunan nyo, like meron talagang naka-alot for the 'wedding', specific dapat.

Anyway, too much unsolicited advice. Must stop now. Teehee

[sacred cow]

^ parang may pinaghuhugutan ah...just kidding

[simang]

^which part? haha

[sacred cow]

^ ay sorry, yung kay girltalker tinutukoy ko where she said

I am wary about men like this who cannot even communicate want they want.  If they do not know what they want or cannot even communicate it with their partners, kelangan mag isip isip na ng babae.  These men seems to have a mind/communication skills of a 12 year old.

[sugardrop]

^
I think our sister is talking from experience but I somehow agree with her as communication is essential in any kind of relationship. But then again, not all men are expressive.

[ms_teryosa]

i agree with sugardrop. with my bf kasi 5 months pa lang kami then last night he brought up the topic of somethign like "will you marry me?" then ako naman, "huh? are you serious" (kasi nga bago pa lang kami) 'then sabi nya "oo naman pero ikaw kasi sabi mo we need to plan about it pa so sige let's plan about it" then ayun so sabi ko baka nga nagbibiro lang kasi biglang kumabig eh.

[Girltalker2]

^ parang may pinaghuhugutan ah...just kidding

ako ba? haha akala ko si sis simang eh.

Di ko naman personally na experience. Pero naalala ko naman dati siryoso naman yung BF ko magpropose, 3x pa nga. Pero, as you know, the marriage did not last.  And now, I am extra careful with guys who cannot even express themselves. Wala akong oras sa kanila since hindi na naman ako bata.

It is only in my recent dating days na narealize ko sobrang importante talaga ng communication sa mag-asawa.  I think I missed on that when I was married.  My ex hubby is already not a good communicator. Moreso ako rin. Kaya sa pagpili ng mapapangasawa, mas  malaki ang chances na magiging successful ang marriage ninyo once both of you have that skill.
Communication is not only saying it effectively (note effectively such that ang dating sa partner mo is the message you want to convey) but also listening (knowing when ka magi-introduce ng topic, knowing if the topic is sensitive or not, timing, etc).

Like sa case ni sis ms_teryosa, minsan mahirap itimpla yung recent example mo na 5 months palang kayo, so parang nagugulat ka at di mo sure kung serious yung guy.  If the guy is good in communicating, somehow maaga palang nag uumpisa na sya ng mga topics about marriage. What do you think about it, etc.  Sabi nga ni sis simang, knowing what you want and what your partner wants. Swak ba?  Para pag nagsalita yung isa ng will you marry me - walang pagdudududa if he/she is serious. But sis ms_teryosa, I might be wrong din kasi ikaw lang naman makakaalam sa situation ninyo whether madalas kayo mag usap about marriage, etc.

[sacred cow]

valid naman mga sinabi niyo, minsan din kaming mga guys malabo ring kausap hindi lang mga girls

[insanelypurpleprincess]

^
I agree with this. For me, it should be a very personal and intimate thing. Ayaw ko ng may kung ano anong cheverloo in public. While it would seem nice to a lot of women, what if the girl isn't ready talaga but couldn't say no because the guy might be embarrassed in public.

And I just had to comment on this one. "Been there, done that!" Minsan naman, the girl says "yes, yes, yes, I will marry you with tears in her eyes." So, it's in a public setting so there are tons of witnesses, so talk of the town. So, just in case di matuloy ang wedding (sh*t happens!) then double talk of the town. So, personally, I like intimate proposals

[wangwang]

nakigaya lang ba ang mga pinoy sa banyaga,patungkol sa 'public proposal'?  OT

[t_r_i_s_h]

valid naman mga sinabi niyo, minsan din kaming mga guys malabo ring kausap hindi lang mga girls

I so agree! hahaha there are guys na masabi lang eh yung pa-kilig lang or para kahit pano maisip mo na "oMG he really loves me" akala kasi minsan ng iba basta basta naniniwala yung babae.

[argento]

Nung minsan sinabi ko sa kanya ang gusto kong wedding ay parang kay megan fox, yung 3 lang sila sa island, the bride groom and the priest, tapos ayoko ng prenup picture, parang nakita ko nalungkot yung mata nya.

Malulungkot talaga yun. Maghahanap pa siya ng island eh