Hi missing x.
I was in your situation a few years back. Exactong-exacto except for:
1. My then bf (now hubby) and I were living away from our parents - as in different country pa
2. He (the hubby) is a foreigner (but not Aussie)
3. We were dating (as in bf/gf) but it was a complicated situation that not a lot of people knew about it, the parents knew that it was complicated;
4. It was my first time to meet them as his gf - this after he's introduced and brought home his former gfs, the last one he was with for a loooong time
5. It was my first time to be introduced to my bf's parents - all previous relationships were too "casual" to even warrant an introduction - kahit ako mismo ayaw ko.
I used to troll around and look for tips, suggestions, ideas on forums like this because I didn't know what to do.
Now to answer your sort-of questions/issues:
1. "You are not yet official"
So what? It's not like they expect you to marry him the moment you set foot in their house. Besides, what does "official" mean? Can't friends bring friends home to meet parents? I suggest that you go there as his "friend". I don't think his parents will be rude to ask you point blank kung ano ang status nyo. And even if you do, I think you can either dodge the question carefully - either get him to answer it, or if not, just tell them the truth, that you and him "go out" and "date". It's up for them to think whether you're their son's girlfriend or not. I suggest you wait for your bf to introduce you. And if you get introduced as "themissingx", then that's it - no need for further explanations. Foreigners are very straightforward - like most of us, they'll probably jump into conclusions - but they're not really intrusive or usyusero.
I would suggest though, that before you go, you sit down with your friend and ask about details about this trip. Like what activities are you doing during the trip, who are the people you'll likely meet, para na rin you know what to pack and bring (e.g. gifts). Then you can ask your friend, about your reservations about being introduced as a girlfriend (or at least creating the impression that you are) kung hindi naman clear.
2. "Going too fast"
It's just a trip. A weekend. You gotta ask what you're doing during the trip, who you're meeting so you're ready. If he says, it's just chilling out and driving around his neighborhood, then that sounds easy enough. Believe me, when I was in your situation, I was worried about these things too, but when I got there, there was hardly any time for us to be meeting anyone. If you're doing barbies and such, again, it's such a brief time that you'll forget their names, and they'll likely forget yours immediately anyway. You'll just be known as so and so's friend.
Again, unless he gets overtly touchy-feely, they'll just dismiss you as a "friend". Depende talaga how he introduces you and how he acts around you.
3. "What if they don't like me"
Ay, ito yung million dollar question ko before. The week leading to the trip, as in I was having long distance call marathons with my best girl buddies for them to boost my morale. Not to mention sleepless nights. I was afraid of the inevitable fact that I will be compared to the girls who have been introduced before.
I'll tell you what the best advice given to me: be yourself. Be the person that your friend likes being with. And trust your friend to have your back. Be polite, be helpful. Be on your toes - pay attention to what they're saying and be genuinely interested. Aussies are very nice, laid back people, but if they're from a small town in the middle of Alice Springs, you probably wouldn't want to start chatting away about the trips that you make, the new gadgets you have or that you're looking forward to a nice spa massage after your long drive.
And so what if you're short compared to him? You're not there for a modelling contest. And unless he uses your head as an arm rest, then get over your issues. I don't think itataboy ka nila just because you're vertically challenged. I would suggest though, that you dress nicely, smart, refrain from wearing trampy clothes or like you're going clubbing in the middle of the day. Ibagay mo sa background nila. And it doesn't mean na porket beach sya, you can wear your tangga and monokinis. Leave them at home, sweetie. Medyo demure and prim muna. If you must, your bikinis should not be playboy material.
4. Last minute tips:
- Get a nice (read: professional) pedicure. (As a sister, I always look at how neat my brothers' girlfriends are, especially kung panay sandals ang suot nila).
- As I said, dress appropriately. Fashionable pero classy. Do not dress like a manang though.
- Find out a little more about your "target audience". For example, I found out that my hosts (i.e. the bf's family) liked talking about news events, so I brushed up on the latest news before the trip. So kahit na hindi man ako ready makipag-debate sa kanila, at least I had an idea what they were talking about. And hindi ako mukhang boba or tulala dahil wala akong maintindihan sa sinasabi nila.
- Try to remember names of the important family members. Tsaka find something interesting to talk about (audience appropriate). Kasi there will be times siguro that you will be left alone with them.
- They might be interested about what you do for a living, your family, your dog, etc. If you have a wallet with pictures, that's a great ice breaker. Everyone likes looking at pictures.
- Ask your friend about sleeping arrangements. If he says you're sleeping in the same room, ask him kung ok lang ba sa parents nya and they wouldn't get offended.
- Help out sa house, such as preparing dinner, or setting the table. And make sure that you clean up after yourself be it sa bedroom, bathroom or pag kumakain kayo. Even though it might be "his" or "your" bedroom during your stay, make sure na maayos ang room pag masilip nila.
- Bring a present. Depende nga sa background nila. You probably should ask your friend what his family likes. Maybe a nice bottle of wine or port. Kung hindi naman umiinom, then offer to pay for dinner/take them out to dinner.
Yan, mukhang kumpleto na ang tips. PM me if you need more insights.
Just remember, tao din yang mga yan. They may have blonde hair and green eyes, and speak in a funny accent, but at the end of the day, you probably sound funny to them too. Patas lang ang labanan.
