Author Topic: Just friends or emotional cheating?  (Read 2152 times)

KayeLafang

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Just friends or emotional cheating?
« on: September 11, 2020, 12:42:41 am »
Hi! I'm new here. I just need some insights because I might be wrong with what I think about this. My hubby is the type of person who's very friendly and is easy to approach. Here comes a girl classmate of his from his post-grad course who he became close with. At first, I didn't mind as there was a bunch of them naman sa class. However, during their review, they became closer like she treated him to meals and vice versa. And he bought things because yun daw ang gamit ni girl so yun na rin gagamitin nya. There are chats like "kumusta" and "libre naman jan", "sunduin kita ng car and let's eat there na lang". What made these chats raise the red flag for me is that madalang sya in chatting people from the opposite sex, kahit na sa akin, and sometimes, up to the wee hours of the night. Eto pa, when we went out of town with this girl friend of his and another couple friends, they were joking that my hubby and the girl should pose ala "Kita Kita" kahit andun ako. And he took videos of her and were talking to them as if I wasn't there. One time nga iniwan na lang ako, nauna na sa sasakyan with the girl. I felt like pinagsisiksikan ko ang sarili ko by then. Kung di lang sobrang drama, I wanted to ride na a bus pauwi.

When their classmates meet up, silang dalawa agad ang expected na magkasama. They even went on a road trip na sila lang, treat and car ni girl ang gamit, kasi daw nag visita iglesia sila. When I confronted him about all these doubts that I have, he was very angry and was saying "wag mo akong itulad sa iba"; that I was just too malisyosa because I have friends who are nega and have bad relationships; and that he was trying so hard to be the best husband in a marriage that he saw as perfect. I ruined him daw. Di na ba daw pwede na magka friends with the opposite sex?

In fairness to him, he stopped chatting that's as far as I know. I don't have full access sa fb and messenger accounts nya. He has since deleted the chat app in his other phone kung san ko nakita ang mga chats nila. And he usually brings with him his tab anywhere he goes, kahit sa banyo. But I still can't shake this feeling off. Am I just paranoid?

Kiara027

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2020, 01:37:16 am »
TS, valid naman yung naramdaman mo based sa dinescribe mong actions ng hubby mo. Masasabi ko lang, since sinabi mo na uneasy ka sa closeness nila ng classmate nya, at that moment, or the other day, tinigil na dapat nya communication or going out alone sa classmate nya na yun kung NIRERESPETO KA NYA bilang asawa nya na aminin mo na, nagseselos ka.

I think, kailangan mo pa ng deeper na pakikipag usap sa hubby mo and discuss mo yang feelings mo. Wag naman sana sya maging defensive kasi karapatan mo yan bilang asawa nya. Now if i insist pa din nya na friends lang sila, at nagiging malisyosa ka lang, at di pa din sya tumigil sa pakikipag close sa babae na yun, red flag na talaga yan. Bantayan mo na asawa mo, yang closeness na yan may tendency na madevelop feelings sa ganyan.  Been there done that. 😆

Yang pagtatago at pagdadala ng gadget sa CR kahit di naman nya gawain dati ang ganyan, red flag din yan. Been there done that. 😆

Masasabi ko lang, valid feelings mo, need mo na putulin ang klase ng friendship nila.

Wala an dapat na mas close na babae sa hubby mo kung ikaw, nanay nya, at kapatid na babae.
i am for everybody yet i am for none. nobody owns me neither i own one...

ficklemind

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2020, 03:45:59 pm »
^ true, going on a road trip na sila lang? naman... bakit hinde ka sinama?
daming red flags. at napadefensive agad ng hubby mo.

TomHansen

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2020, 12:58:08 pm »
TS dapat nga di na umabot sa confrontation dahil kahit sino naman ang tanungin mali ang ginagawa nila. Tumigil lang siya dahil kinausap mo pero papaano kung hindi e di tuloy tuloy lang sila, insensitive. Yung reactions niya are just defense mechanism, ganun talaga ang mga tanong kinoconfront palalabasin pa ikaw ang masama at malisyoso pero kung baliktad kayo ng kalagayan malamang nagwala na yan at magiging paranoid din.

You have the right na magworry asawa ka e,pinoprotektahan mo lang status mo sa buhay niya at sa isang relationship hindi pwedeng may saling pusa. Mabuti na apulahin na yan habang baga pa lang wag nang hintaying umapoy pa. At adults na mga yan I'm sure deep inside alam nilang sobra na ginagawa nila at kung di mo pa kinausap asawa mo baka umabot na sa pisikalan yan (kung hindi pa).
Attraversiamo..

red_yesha

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2020, 03:10:25 pm »
TS Alam mo what bothers me more e  yung parang nangungunsinti pa yung mga kaibigan. Kaya para sa hubby mo siguro e wala syang ginagawang masama kasi parang shini-ship pa sila eh.

Valid ang feelings mo sis. Hindi din pwede sakin yan na "super close friend". Pag mag asawa or bf gf na wala na dapat ganyang linta. May limit na talaga.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. :)

Girltalker2

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2020, 08:31:06 am »
^ sis you said it
So true
Kaya hate na hate ko environment dyan
Lalo na sa mga offices kasi feeling Close FRIENDS lahat kayo and holding hands or akbayan, lunch out etc with opposite gender is cool. If not, you?re not cool.

Ghell06

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2020, 09:45:25 am »
Redflag talag sis yung parang shiniship na sila and to think na andun ka pa. Wow respeto naman sayo diba?

red_yesha

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2020, 11:28:42 am »
Korek sis! Tapos lalabas nyan ikaw pa KJ or close minded kasi di mo masabayan yung trip nila na pagiging super "close" kasi "bff" kayo.
Di ko matolerate ang mga ganyan kasi MALI.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. :)

janachen

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2020, 11:10:26 pm »
Pinakared flag sakin dyan yung road trip na silang dalawa lang.. No no ako. imposibleng walang nadedevelop na something.

kaythrielle

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #9 on: September 30, 2020, 09:09:24 pm »
Kumusta na kaya si TS? I hope you and your husband were able to work things out.

barcode

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2020, 02:54:34 am »
So lucky I found this! Yung ganitong sitwasyon hindi din pala ako nagiisa, pero hindi naman kasing intense ni TS. Grabe sis yung nag out of town kayo bakit ganun hubby mo. Kamusta na kayo?

Ako gusto ko lang mag share and magtanong na din. May officemate si hubby, close sila. Hindi ko magawang magselos dahil lagi kame magkasama except lang sa office timings. Pero may mga simple chats and calls kasi, na kinukwento naman nya saken pero iba kasi yung pakiramdam ko. Married with kids din si girl pero pala ayos kasi at kinukwento pa saken ni hubby na panay daw ang gym at diet ni girl. She even visited me in the hospital when I gave birth. Baka nga close lang sila at paranoid lang ako, but I really think my husband likes this woman and I feel like being emotionally cheated like this topic says.

Nawala na tong ganitong feeling ko pero ngayon bumalik ulit nung may nakita kong chat nila ni girl sa messenger na deleted. I asked him kung ano yun, sabi nya remember I told you I called her, naputol kasi yung linya, out of the blue may message si girl na nacut yung line, so baka kung ano isipin mo binura ko nalang.

I don?t buy it kasi eh, sabi ko nalang ok. Pag nag insist kasi ako, sya naman magagalit na how could I think about it.

Well feeling ko naman hindi nya ko niloloko dahil nga lagi kame magkasama. Pero di ko maalis sa isip ko na he likes this girl, ano kayang dapat kong gawin. Deadma lang ba?

janachen

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2020, 06:34:56 pm »
haha hirap kalaban ang sarili no sis, lalo uso ngayon ang ganyan. Madalas matulfo ang ganyang sitwasyon. Kahit kasi sobrang bait si Hubby kung babae talaga lalapit.

Pero simplehan mo lang, hindi naman sa wala kang  tiwala pero mabuti na [textspeak!] naninigurado.

precious.tababa@gmail.com

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2020, 08:30:59 pm »
Im newbie here.. im not sure mga sis kung dito ba ak dpt magsabi ng feelings ko..housewife ako and raketerang nanay.. nangyri s amin n hubby last 2 wiks ago [textspeak!] n may nabasa ako accidentally s phone nya na convo nla na sweet and flirting message ng ka workmate nya.. although d [textspeak!] sy ngdadamot na hiramin or galawin ko ang phone nya.. ngulat ako s nabasa ko na ang tawagin niya na ?sexy love? ang aswa ko.. ng mabasa ko sobra akong nakaramdam ng galit at inis..when i ask him kng bkt my gnong [textspeak!] skny ang sinagot [textspeak!] ny skn is hindi ny alam..kakausapin ny dw [textspeak!] workamate ny pr malamn bkt gnon ang tnwag skny, and gang s kng [textspeak!] ano nlng n dhilan ang nrinig..and confident sy n sinabi skn n wl syang gngwang msama skn or nkkpaglandian dhl kng gagawa mn dw sya ng kalokohan sisiguraduhin nya na dko mllaman.. at malaya [textspeak!] ak nkkhawak ng phone nya..peo dhl s d malinaw ang lht skn tlgng nakpg [textspeak!] ak s workmate nya para i confront.. dko napigilan ang emotion ko at kng [textspeak!] ano n ang nsabi ko sknya at sobrng d ak nagsisi s mga pinagsasabi ko s workmate nya dhl filing ko desrve nya un mkatanggp ng ganong salita kc alm ko n alam nya n may asawa [textspeak!] tao pr twagin ny ng ganon ang kinikilala nyang boss..actually boss ang asawa ko s company..d nman siguro ganon ang tawagan ng isang staff sa boss nya diba?? kakaiba nrmdaman ko kc ilang beses n kmi ng aaway pagdting s trabho or kaya pag babar nila [textspeak!] ang officemates..dko rn alam kng valid nga ba na isipin ko n [textspeak!] ba tlg un s pnanrabaho ang mging sweet k pr mgng dhlan ng ibang interpetasyon.. my nkita ako before n photos nya at babae (waitress s bar) na naka akbay sya s babae at nakapatong ang kamay s hita ng babae.. ano ba ang dapt ko bng isipin nun? tpos ang ssbhn [textspeak!] skn ng aswa ko kailngn nya makisama s pinaka boss nya kya nya gngawa un? hindi ba sobra n un?? pmilyadong tao sya peo [textspeak!] b tlg s pananrabaho ang ganon?? pilit ko iniitndi n bk nga ak [textspeak!] ang hndi nkksabay s trend ng isang employed n tao dhl housewife [textspeak!] ako..☹️🥺 prng pkiramdam ko hndi n healthy s relationship [textspeak!] mg asawa ang gnong environmnt ng pnanrabho.. dko maisip n nakikisama sya ky nya un gngawa? mrming ways pr iwasan dhl alam [textspeak!] s compny na may asawa sya peo kinu kunsinte sya..ky ngyon nhihirapan ako maibalik ang tiwala saknya.. sa dami nrn n nangyri.. ako ba tlg ang my problema??tnanong ko sknya yn peo ang sagot nya is kailngn nya un gwin.. papano ko ulit mababalik ang tiwala skny kng gnito nman? dko maintndhn.. kinabukasan mtapos km mag away sinabi nya skn n d dw un sinsadya ng officemate nya.. at sobrng nhiya ang aswa ko dw s pinagssbi ko s babae n un kc wl [textspeak!] dw [textspeak!] ibig sbhn un at [textspeak!] ?sexy love? ang bansag [textspeak!] or pang asar dw sknya..dko n inalam bkt.. at gusto pa daw ako kasuhan ng officemate nya.. willing ak humarap peo d [textspeak!] pumayag ang aswa ko.. hanggang s ng usap prn kami mag asawa.. at inayos ang lahat.. peo gng ngyn dko matanggap prn na wala lang [textspeak!] mga un base s nakita kong [textspeak!] at pictures.. kailangn ko ba talaga mag adjust o masanay nlng n ganon tlg? kht na nsasaktan ako?? kc s nkikita ko hindi un normal..0r ako [textspeak!] ang abnormal? slamat po at psnsya n po sobrng haba na.. dto [textspeak!] kc ako nkkpglabas ng sama ng loob.. sn matulungan nyo ako.. Thanks po

 

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